daydreamer0217

My X is a RA, he is 16 weeks sober now. I have gone no contact because it seems we just fight a lot. I want to talk about what his drinking was like, he didn't yadda, yadda. He just has seemed angry since day 1 of recovery almost. It is like as soon as he got sober he got mad at me, and his tone was no longer caring and sweet. everything agitates him and he is mad all the time. now he is pissed that I went no contact, he found a way to get a hold me. and after all of that he called me and yelled at me today and basically told me to eff off. do I remind him of drinking days? am I like alcohol to him, a bad trip for him? I cannot figure out why this man is so nasty to me when he is sober. I wouldn't ask, except this isn't the first time he has acted like this. last summer when he got sober, he got mean to me too, but later when he wanted me back, he explained that he was in a bad place, but then he started drinking again, and then he gets sober again, and he talks so mean to me again. I am just flabbergasted.

ScottFromWI

Alcoholics do a lot of mean and nasty things, it is a very selfish affliction. It's possible he's lashing out because he's not recovered and simply not drinking. It's possible that he's just a mean and nasty person too. As hard as it might be to accepts though, there's nothing you can do about it....he will need to change on his own. Have you considered al-anon or another type of support in the meantim?

daydreamer0217

Yes. Thank you.

sugarbear1

sounds like he has untreated alcoholism.

we get worse until we do something for ourselves that includes recovering from alcoholism

alcohol treated my alcoholism, without it, I was a mess. I had to have a plan for recovery to recover.

hugs and love to you

paulokes

I had a partner also who stopped drinking because of anger issues. Soon became apparent though the rage fits and blaming others continued for some time.

What do you get if you sober up a horse thief? A sober horse thief

P