sleepie

Wanted that beer all day again but did not. Boyfriend visited and we had dinner. Later he hung out and had a few beers. He knows the deal, I won't kiss him if he drinks cause I don't even want the alcohol to touch my lips. He felt bad but took the beers anyway. I don't care much. I'm such an anxious mess it didn't bother me. He used to be a Friday night binger, old habits die hard.

ape123

Glad you're being strong! Keep at it, a day from now a month from now and a year from now you'll look back on this and be proud for not giving in.

sleepie

I hope so.I am still so early in , and drank for so long I am just waiting for the inevitable health issues even if I quit forever. Already went to the dr but things can look ok and not be.... most of my anxiety is based on this lately though I am also doing a benzo taper and have anxiety disorders anyway so... good times!

venuscat

Well done sleepie love!!

Saturday night for me, and pretty anxious here too.
I am going to NOT drink with you.

venuscat

Our bodies can recover sleepie.
Really.
You are doing really well, proud of you girl!!!

sleepie

Thank you venuscat it's good to see you

ape123

You got this!

sleepie

I never get that pink cloud. The best I achieve is a muddy mauve.

QuietToday

I'm having a rough time tonight too. 3am, and I thought the craving would go away once 2am hit and I knew I had no way of getting alcohol--- but it's still going :/

Like you, staying strong. Just a damn hard week for a lot of us on SR, it seems.

sleepie

I'm still staying were a refrigerator is stocked. I don;t plan to drink but it's as if I can feel the cold and taste of it.

venuscat

I did something similar QuietToday, well not really, but it will make sure I can't go out and buy alcohol. I washed my hair and put on my PJs.
At 5pm.

I don't even want alcohol...I just want to feel better.
As you said, a rough week for quite a few of us I guess.
I'm just glad we have each other to lean on.

I never had a pink cloud either sleepie love.

sleepie

Great tactic venuscat I know you are having a difficult time now, you are so strong, taking care of yourself. I am a wussy!

venuscat

I kind of think it's the opposite way round sleepie ~ I could not ignore a fridge full of beer. I have to run from the alcohol when I am this vulnerable.

advbike

You're pretty strong sleepie, I also couldn't ignore a fridge full of cold beer in early recovery. Or someone drinking in front of me. That's tough. You're tough. Keep up the good work.

aasharon90

As time went on for me in recovery,
I eventually learned that I didn't and
don't have to put myself in situations
where alcohol is involved that would
make me feel uncomfortable or stressed
out.

I learned that I didn't need to punish
myself when all I want to be is happy
and healthy in life.

Today, many yrs sober later, I still
don't torture myself, but am kind
to myself and my needs and take
care of me and protect my own
sobriety and recovery because I
learned that NO one else will.

People, places and things will
go on everyday without skipping
a beat, never worrying about
others, just doing their thing.

So, it's just me and my recovery
carrying on, soldiering on, standing
strong against the forces of evil
that lurk around every corner just
waiting patiently to attack and try
to bring me down.

Stand strong for urself and protect
your own recovery because it's the
one most powerful thing against that
refrigerator full of poison.

venuscat

Thank you sharon ~ awesome post. ♥

sleepie

That's why I keep posting. I am trying not to fall off. As far as putting myself in a situation- it's work, sorry- I have to do what I have to do. I have to pay bills, have to eat.

venuscat

(((sleepie))) ♥

Soberpotamus

Sleepie, you're doing a great thing by posting your way through these situations