Admitting it
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 1
Admitting it
The trouble is, alcohol makes me feel normal, more like "me". I'm funny and charming and social. Without it, I'm anxious and I just have a hard time talking to people. I know I need to stop drinking now because I went on a 5 day bender and then felt very ill.. Ringing ears, tingling down my right arm and hand, mild hallucinations, panic attack. I didn't drink for 7 months, because I was pregnant. But after my daughter was stillborn, I started in on the weekends again, and that led to adding in Thursday, and then adding more weekdays until I was drinking more days than not. And a lot. I just don't know where to start. I want to be fun me, but I also want to be healthy. I guess I have to admit I have a problem because the thought of quitting makes me want to cry and is just overwhelming right now.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome sunrise. It's a scary thought - giving it up - but it is really an unfounded fear. Your addiction would have you think you need to drink to be "normal", but the sober you is the real you. Hope we can be of help on your journey.
pray for strength
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New England
Posts: 2,414
Hi Sunrise and welcome to SR! This is a great place to start. I'm so, so sorry to hear about your daughter. Many here, including myself, can relate to your sentiments regarding thinking that alcohol makes you more you more normal. A funny thing happened though after I stopped drinking; I started respecting that I truly had a right to not relish being in certain social scenarios and having certain conversations. I started to be more ok with exactly who I am without alcohol and it was beyond liberating.
There is so much advice and experience here for you! So glad that you are here.
There is so much advice and experience here for you! So glad that you are here.
Originally Posted by Sunrise7 
The trouble is, alcohol makes me feel normal, more like "me". I'm funny and charming and social. Without it, I'm anxious and I just have a hard time talking to people. I know I need to stop drinking now because I went on a 5 day bender and then felt very ill.. Ringing ears, tingling down my right arm and hand, mild hallucinations, panic attack. I didn't drink for 7 months, because I was pregnant. But after my daughter was stillborn, I started in on the weekends again, and that led to adding in Thursday, and then adding more weekdays until I was drinking more days than not. And a lot. I just don't know where to start. I want to be fun me, but I also want to be healthy. I guess I have to admit I have a problem because the thought of quitting makes me want to cry and is just overwhelming right now.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,256
It's difficult to give up alcohol. I also liked to do it in social situations, but then I would just end up doing silly, stupid things. I realize that I am better off sober and not drinking, but I guess we really have to want it. I am only on day 3. I just started to have some cravings.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,256
[QUOTE=Justbreathe1980;5383267]It's difficult to give up alcohol. I also liked to do it in social situations, but then I would just end up doing silly, stupid things. I realize that I am better off sober and not drinking, but I guess we really have to want it. I am only on day 3. I just started to have some cravings right now, but I know they will pass./QUOTE]
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Northumberland, England
Posts: 113
Welcome Sunrise. What a great name. I hope this place helps you as much as it has and continues to help me.
Very sorry to hear of the loss of your child.
To become the real me is a major challenge as it means changing habits of a lifetime, people pleasing, playing to the gallery, being the funny guy to gain acceptance. Those behaviours were all easier to do when drinking but the truth is I had no idea who the real me was.
I am discovering more about me, good and bad now that I have stopped, some I like, others not so much, however I am beginning to respect myself a bit more as I try to live a more authentic life..
For me alcohol meant deceiving myself on every level, I now simply prefer myself sober and it is a far better life without it in my life.
Very sorry to hear of the loss of your child.
To become the real me is a major challenge as it means changing habits of a lifetime, people pleasing, playing to the gallery, being the funny guy to gain acceptance. Those behaviours were all easier to do when drinking but the truth is I had no idea who the real me was.
I am discovering more about me, good and bad now that I have stopped, some I like, others not so much, however I am beginning to respect myself a bit more as I try to live a more authentic life..
For me alcohol meant deceiving myself on every level, I now simply prefer myself sober and it is a far better life without it in my life.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
"I guess I have to admit I have a problem because the thought of quitting makes me want to cry and is just overwhelming right now. "
Hi.
I understand because when I was new I thought I’d lost my best friend even though my friend was taking, taking and I was on the death path. I’m addicted to alcohol even after a lot of years of non use. It is powerful, cunning, baffling and insidious, always lurking patiently.
I needed to want to stop drinking and accept the fact I cannot drink in safety one day at a time in a row in safety.
After that we take action to achieve the goal of being sober.
BE WELL
Hi.
I understand because when I was new I thought I’d lost my best friend even though my friend was taking, taking and I was on the death path. I’m addicted to alcohol even after a lot of years of non use. It is powerful, cunning, baffling and insidious, always lurking patiently.
I needed to want to stop drinking and accept the fact I cannot drink in safety one day at a time in a row in safety.
After that we take action to achieve the goal of being sober.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 1,501
Hi sunrise and welcome! Your story about how you started drinking sounds like the same an mine. I have always had a hard time talking to people and alcohol made me a much more fun person. But once I started drinking I had to have more and more. After several attempts to quit I finally realized that alcohol was a path to nowhere and was slowly killing me. I had to quit.
Make no mistake- quitting is tough but when you are ready there is plenty of support and a lot of great people here.
Make no mistake- quitting is tough but when you are ready there is plenty of support and a lot of great people here.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
its pretty easy to get comfortable in the liquored up "me". The drunk me is smoothed over and if i get a bit uncomfortable i just pour me another drink and its no big deal.
But that is not and never was the real "me" that was just me drunk.
I had to slip on my sober suit and it didnt fit so good and it wasnt so comfortable and it itched in spots and i really didnt like it. I wanted badly to put my drunk super suit back on. But in time I became more comfortable witht he sober me. I had to learn how to roll with the punches and deal with life rather then wash it away with booze. I and those around me had to realize i was not always this laid back happy go lucky great guy that guy was always drunk. the real me isnt that person and love it or hate it thats who i am.
point is this once you sober up you figure out who the real me is and you learn how to live within the confines of those boundaries. In the end your much happier this way and its a lot safer and healthier.
But that is not and never was the real "me" that was just me drunk.
I had to slip on my sober suit and it didnt fit so good and it wasnt so comfortable and it itched in spots and i really didnt like it. I wanted badly to put my drunk super suit back on. But in time I became more comfortable witht he sober me. I had to learn how to roll with the punches and deal with life rather then wash it away with booze. I and those around me had to realize i was not always this laid back happy go lucky great guy that guy was always drunk. the real me isnt that person and love it or hate it thats who i am.
point is this once you sober up you figure out who the real me is and you learn how to live within the confines of those boundaries. In the end your much happier this way and its a lot safer and healthier.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: SE Arizona
Posts: 1,099
After reading your post, I would suggest that you are basically an introverted personality type. Introverts are a minority in most western cultures and tend to feel considerable social anxiety when among extroverts. It doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you, it just means that, in contrast to extroverts, you find social situations draining and need time alone.
Most research has shown that introverts appear to be more prone to alcohol abuse than are extroverts: probably in an effort to become more extroverted. I'm speaking from experience here being strongly introverted and having been in a profession where social schmoozing and extroversion were advantageous.
If you want to learn more about introverts, I suggest you read the book "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" by Susan Cain. She has a web site too.
Also, you might look into the subject of the Meyer-Briggs Type Index. There are online personality assessments that can help you gain understanding of your personality type. It is liberating to realize that one is not "strange" rather one is simply not in a majority. I found research in these areas quite helpful in understanding why I drank.
Most research has shown that introverts appear to be more prone to alcohol abuse than are extroverts: probably in an effort to become more extroverted. I'm speaking from experience here being strongly introverted and having been in a profession where social schmoozing and extroversion were advantageous.
If you want to learn more about introverts, I suggest you read the book "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" by Susan Cain. She has a web site too.
Also, you might look into the subject of the Meyer-Briggs Type Index. There are online personality assessments that can help you gain understanding of your personality type. It is liberating to realize that one is not "strange" rather one is simply not in a majority. I found research in these areas quite helpful in understanding why I drank.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: SoCal
Posts: 222
A lot of us will understand exactly where you are coming from...the problem is, if you are like many of us, alcohol will quit being fun and then you will crave it even more than you did in the "good ole' days" of some sort of sick and twisted necessity.
You are an introvert drinking to be more social? You may quickly find yourself being an introvert avoiding all social events in order to drink...alone (since you never needed any sort of social excuse to drink in the first place, it just feels good to have a couple alone sometimes to unwind).
All of us are in this together.
You are an introvert drinking to be more social? You may quickly find yourself being an introvert avoiding all social events in order to drink...alone (since you never needed any sort of social excuse to drink in the first place, it just feels good to have a couple alone sometimes to unwind).
All of us are in this together.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
I was drunk for so long it felt normal to me too
When I quit tho I found an old me, a me I'd forgotten, and a life that was a lot less complicated.
I know it's scary but I hope you decide to make the leap and give it a go.
You won't regret it
D
When I quit tho I found an old me, a me I'd forgotten, and a life that was a lot less complicated.
I know it's scary but I hope you decide to make the leap and give it a go.
You won't regret it
D
Originally Posted by Sunrise7
The trouble is, alcohol makes me feel normal, more like "me". I'm funny and charming and social. Without it, I'm anxious and I just have a hard time talking to people. I know I need to stop drinking now because I went on a 5 day bender and then felt very ill.. Ringing ears, tingling down my right arm and hand, mild hallucinations, panic attack. I didn't drink for 7 months, because I was pregnant. But after my daughter was stillborn, I started in on the weekends again, and that led to adding in Thursday, and then adding more weekdays until I was drinking more days than not. And a lot. I just don't know where to start. I want to be fun me, but I also want to be healthy. I guess I have to admit I have a problem because the thought of quitting makes me want to cry and is just overwhelming right now.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
Originally Posted by least
Welcome to the family. I felt strange not drinking for a while, but the longer I stayed sober, the more normal it felt to me.
I felt strange not drinking for a while, but the longer I stayed sober, the more normal it felt to me.
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