sleepie

This is the thread to look at when I get back from biking home after another long day, so I don't stop in a bar.
A lot of times I don't drink because I'll feel guilty for getting support here.
I'm bored out of my mind and very lonely as usual.

StayStrong33

You can do it!

sleepie

I hope so. I'm leaving now to bike home. This city has exploded with microbreweries and even more bars and liquor stores at every turn.

ScottFromWI

Maybe you could go to a movie or the library instead of a bar or microbrewery. Or maybe a coffee shop or a museum?

Boleo

Short-term goals can backfire. What happens after "mission accomplished"?

"Recovery" is not just goal hopping. It is a whole new state of mind.

Soberintexas007

Congratulations on your success. I am giving it another go, but this time there will be more rules and boundaries with my husband. I am going to tell him that if he wants to drink at inappropriate times during the day (such as during a movie), then he is welcome to and I love him, but that I will not be there with him.

sleepie

Uh thanks Boleo?
I made it home. Thanks guys.
LOL libraries are not open at this hour ScottfromWI.
I find it pretty useful to set short term goals.

sleepie

Hi JustBreathe. My boyfriend is on the sofa ignoring me. We have to go visit his sister who is very ill tomorrow. I tried to get him to talk about it yesterday, with some small success.

Soberintexas007

That is frustrating. Here you are trying to be there for him, and he is giving you the cold shoulder. I guess sometimes people may just need their space when they are feeling down about something.

sleepie

I think so. There's a lot happening- I am getting off benzos, quitting drinking and his sister is ill.
Truthfully I wish it could just be all about me while I deal with getting off benzos and drink- but that's not how life is.

Soberintexas007

As is have said in my previous posts, I never thought all of this would be happening to me. Addiction recovery is like a "living nightmare."

zjw

the boredom passes. eventually you start finding other things to fill those voids.

hang in there.

GnikNus

I second this. At first things are dull. We're used to the instant gratification that alcohol can give us- a quick hit to the pleasure center. Without it- things can be dull at first.
I say at first because that stage passes. You'll fill in the time with things you enjoy in life, and you enjoy them more and are better at doing them than when drinking was in the picture. Clarity will replace fog. All the negative effects of drinking fall away. You're life with a better, fuller, more productive life.
I live the sober life. If you give it time, it will not only get easier, but it will be a better life in more ways than you can imagine or anticipate.

ScottFromWI

None of us thought it would happen to us...but it did. The nightmare stage really only need be temporary though...you are still in the acute withdrawal phase, and it will take your body some time to adjust as well as your mind.

I can tell you personally though that once you free yourself of the chains of addiction your life can be far better than you would ever imagine. And it's a choice that you can make...no one is "destined" to keep drinking. Work hard and like other nightmares it will become a thing of the past.

least

Congrats on 13 days sober!! Keep it up!

huntingtontx

I like what Scott said, like any other nightmare. I remember thinking my drinking had become a nightmare. I too did not know what to do with myself sober. I had been drinking a long time and after your drunk your days seem shorter. When the haze clears and you start living again, sometimes you just wish there were a few more hours in a day. The first week was a real nightmare for me, but it keeps getting better. Whenever I was bored or wanting a drink I would come here and read posts and try to help others. As I did it helped me. I am here for you sleepy and you have been given a lot of good advice. In the beginning I did not have a long term goal either. I was just not drinking, one day at a time. As time passed goals changed. Give it time and hang in there. One day at a time you can do this.

GnikNus

Sorry, that should read "I love the sober life."