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Care to share about your last drunk ?

Old 05-20-2015, 05:09 AM
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I'm really getting a lot from the reading of this thread. So many of the stories told remind me of my past drunken days. Reminding me of where I never wish to return.
Thank you all,
MB
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Old 05-20-2015, 11:48 AM
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I was at a Blues Festival in town. In the VIP tent, alcohol is free for several hours. I drank about 3 bottles of wine in 8 hours. The messed up part is that nothing bad happened that day in terms of my behavior. I laughed, had a good time, and somehow was completely coherent. I saw a lot of people from work. One guy "bet" me $20 that I wouldn't show up at a bar after the show and get another drink.

You can bet I was $20 richer than night.

That was my last drunk. The people at work STILL talk about how drunk I was nearly 3 years later.
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Old 05-20-2015, 12:02 PM
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It must've been indistinguishable from my typical drunk, because I don't remember any details at all. Just another day.

What I remember is having all those typically depressed and anxious thoughts during my withdrawal the next day. I thought to myself: You know, this can end. This can be the last one. And I just knew without a doubt it was true. I knew it was possible. And so that is the tiny kernel of faith I grasped onto and held onto during early sobriety. I trusted if I put one foot in front of the other, that there was a way out of that rut. It wasn't my first try at sobriety but I meant business finally
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Old 05-20-2015, 12:47 PM
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I don't even remember and it was 21 days ago. I'm not scared sober I just got sick of it the hangovers etc.
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Old 05-20-2015, 07:15 PM
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Not quite my last..my last was spent lying in bed having blown two important work shifts downing every last drink I had and throwing the empties on the floor like a slob.

The time before that had to be my worst. I began drinking straight after work and proceeded to miss work for the next few days. I met some random guy at the liquor store, and gave him a ride home. I was driving my dads car as mine was needing a new tire and I had a little sober time so he was starting to trust me again. Why I had rationalized drinking, completely blowing any trust, and throwing away morals..well I guess that's what makes me an addict. Anyway this random guy spilled beer all inside my dads car, and it was raining so we tracked a bunch of mud into the car. I hung out at this guys house drinking with him and ultimately sleeping with him...which is not something I ever do. When I decided to leave I realized I'd lost the car keys. I was drunk staggering around, could not find them. I had no phone, no one knew where I was for two days. I found out later they thought I was a missing person. In my drunken state i started pleading and praying to find those keys, and by some miracle I caught the slightest glimpse of them in the mud outside. I pretty much ran from that house.

I continued bingeing for 3 or 4 days until my friend had come over for our preplanned dinner and found me drunk. She poured out my drinks and would not leave me alone, especially after I'd threatened to harm myself if she didn't give me back my alcohol. She was on the phone with one of my relatives who called the police after hearing that I was threatening to hurt myself. So there come the police who forced me to go and stay with my friend until I sobered up. That morning was hell, the embarrassment, shame, vomiting, shaking and panic. I was given two choices, detox or hospital. I picked the hospital and suffered waiting hours for a doctor. Got off the booze, which I felt I wouldn't live through but I did. I don't want to be that person, I did so many things that I would not even consider sober. I'm lucky to be alive and so grateful that no one else got hurt in that mess of a life.
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Old 06-02-2015, 04:27 AM
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Originally Posted by iminhere27 View Post

I was given two choices, detox or hospital. I picked the hospital
After turning myself in to our company Employee Assistance Program, the Lady working there gave me the same two choices.

I had gotten to the point where due to my drinking I was not getting to work like I should.

Stayed sober that time close to three years.

MM
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Old 06-02-2015, 05:23 AM
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last time i drank was basically just like every other time i drank for the last 2 years, laying in bed with a pint or 2 of vodka next to me. That night i had really bad stomach pains and a feel like I had to throw up, but couldnt. The next day I decided to cut out booze cold turkey with a little help from doctor prescribed lorazepam. 6 days in as of today and things are going great.
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Old 06-02-2015, 05:58 AM
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Last time I drunk time i lost a very good friend. Praying to God that it was my last drunk.
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Old 06-02-2015, 06:18 AM
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A barbecue at a place we have in the country. Everyone drinking but only me (as far as I know) sneaking extras out the back. Pretty loaded. Still though it was ok to drive the family home. I'd done that loads of times.

Not sure what changed in me. Don't want to be that sort of guy around my kids or around anyone. I just made myself so sad all the time.

That was 6 weeks ago. It was nothing special but being sober is. I hope I can keep this gift.
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Old 06-02-2015, 06:33 AM
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Originally Posted by jsm273 View Post
Last time I drunk time i lost a very good friend. Praying to God that it was my last drunk.
Wow!! I can write can't I! Meant to say the last time I got drunk I lost a very good friend. Maybe I need more coffee.
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Old 06-02-2015, 06:36 AM
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The night passed pleasantly and uneventfully enough.The next day, I was wracked with anxiety and panic- something that my drinking had progressed to over the last couple of years. I went fishing. Out of nowhere a feeling of doom and impending death hit. I'd been having such attacks- debilitating ones- for some time. Super high blood pressure, health anxieties about drinking (which drinking relieved temporarily), etc.
I was starting to pay the fiddler with my drinking, which had been daily and steady for 15 years. Drinking had made me lose my focus in life.

Found SR that night and haven't looked back
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Old 06-02-2015, 07:12 AM
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Yes have been thinking about this recently, the pain , anxiety, self hatred, spiritual depression , fear and bewilderment and this only describes the psychological feelings add to this shakes, sick , sweats , pacing, inability to think and relax, swollen face and loss of teeth.

This was the culmination of two weeks drinking which i justified by saying I was on holiday. During this holiday i was sick over people in a restaurant, taken home drunk by a 14 year autistic boy, drunk almost constantly , in black outs for days and generally making a clown of myself.

Whilst home i continued drinking until i fell asleep when i woke up i was racked with guilt and fear and my head was doing a number on me after various trips for glasses of vodka and valium , i got some relieve when it became light. I was up and add it again.

I phoned some aa members just to talk and went to an aa meeting that night iwas still drunk, full of shame and remorse.

The natur of my addiction is that the next morning my initial thought was that i was premature in going back to aa meetings.

That was the 13th August 2013 and i have remained sober since.

Its been hard but i have not lifted the first drink and not suffered any of what i had previously described. I dont take to aa easily and could be described as deep, moody and awkward however i enjoy being sober and the greatest gift i have now is my self respect back, peace of mind and gratitude.
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Old 06-02-2015, 08:41 AM
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At The Beer Store I used to work for a woman came in drunk and was refused service. She then went out to her car which was parked in front of the window of the store and put her car into drive instead of reverse and drove through the window of the store hitting the employee who was working the cash register. He ended up crushed between the car and till and wall. He was hurt and there was major damage to the store.


My last drunk was just last week and it was pretty uneventful...... I was already depressed and anxious about a situation going on in my life so I decided to pour 12 tall boys on top of that to see if I could sink myself deeper into my depression..... guess what? It worked!
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Old 06-02-2015, 08:56 PM
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My last drunk was just like another drinking day I was having on February and March this year, where I would drink a pint of hard liquor between 11 am and 2 pm then sleep for a couple of hours and wake up hangover in the evening...

The day after at the grocery shop when holding the next bottle in my hand I thought to myself: Nah, I wont drink today, this is getting out of hand and Im trying to moderate...

After some time moderation seemed impossible, as I tried dozens of times before and never worked, so I quit and now have 68 days alcohol free.
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Old 06-02-2015, 09:06 PM
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My last drunk should have been last April after I got some scary news about my heart (they told me I have the heart of a 50 - 70 year old and I am only 32.). I cut way back, but I was still drinking - I can't believe how insane that sounds now.

My actual last was in November when I proceeded to get drunk while watching my child (who was napping) while my wife and her mom were out shopping. My wife, who was 9 months pregnant at the time, came home and saw the state I was in and made me go to bed. The next morning she explained that her parents now knew I was an alcoholic and, this is the part that still guts me, she told me that she wished she had went into labor the night before so I would have missed the birth of my son. That put so much in perspective for me and made me realize how much I was hurting her and made me realize that there was no way I could be the father I needed to be if I carried on the way I was. I hate "war stories," but I think that is mainly because it reminds me of what a piece of **** I was for ever getting myself in that position. I have no idea what the future holds, and my relationship has healed immensely, but I realize now that if I ever pick up another drink I could lose everything.
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Old 06-02-2015, 09:17 PM
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My last drunk was a Sunday night where I kept calculating when I had to stop drinking so I would be ok for work the next day. I kept eyeing the clock and getting more and more depressed because time was near and I wasn't looking forward to how I would feel the next day. The next day was horrible while I tried to just get ten minutes of sleep in my car during lunch because I had slept awful the night before. It was then that I told myself I had to stop because I was just so tired of it all.
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Old 06-02-2015, 11:23 PM
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It is happening right now. This would have been my third day clean. I felt myself slipping and stopped for alcohol on the way home. I held off for a few hours but ultimately gave in. I don't really even know why. My work day was okay, nothing particularly stressful. I just feel so weak. I am hoping tomorrow is better. I hate having to start all over again.
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Old 06-02-2015, 11:47 PM
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Not the very last but a turning point. I told myself I would stop drinking once my husband left for a work trip. Then the days kept extending. I drank a ton even though I knew I had work the next day. I woke up in my own urine, went to work looking like hell, my hands shaking, exhausted. That night was to be the last.

The next day, like I was on autopilot, I bought beer. I rationalized that beer was a better option and that I would only drink 4 and pour the rest out. Well I drank more than expected. I felt like I was going to die when I woke up, depressed, anxiety, etc. I went to class and felt fearful I might pass out. this drinking cycle had been going on for months. I just couldn't do it anymore and new I needed support and came here.
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Old 06-03-2015, 06:00 AM
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While I drank heavily it was uneventful and boring. Same old thing, same old people, same old artificial high that didn't deliver the excitement I was looking for.
Health issues were a huge factor in the reason I quit but the above is too. I wrung out every drop of anything that the alcohol experience had to offer and it always fell short, Way short. Took me 15 years to come to that conclusion.
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Old 06-03-2015, 08:19 AM
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Originally Posted by mattdrm View Post

The next day I decided to cut out booze cold turkey with a little help from doctor prescribed lorazepam. 6 days in as of today and things are going great.
Sounds good, happy for you, but please, be careful with the lorazepam. I used to mixed those with booze. True, lorazepam was given to me in rehab once years ago, so as to get me over the rough first few days, but, best also to wean from them as soon as we can under doctors orders so as to be free from all mind altering drugs and the -- liquid devil in the bottle.

MM
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