Unrelated to sobriety but need to vent
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Indiana
Posts: 118
Unrelated to sobriety but need to vent
This post is completely unrelated to sobriety/drinking/etc but I really need to vent and just type out my thoughts.
Today, I discovered that my 14 year old daughter has been cutting herself. I am not sure how to react, what to say/do, and am completely beside myself on this one. I believe that there are a number of reasons why she may be doing this but doubt that she will openly talk to me about them anyway.
One part of me just wants to snatch her up and hug her as tight as I can while I try to explain that the emotional side of being a teenager does go away and things will get better. Another part of me is just really sad and angry.
Today, I discovered that my 14 year old daughter has been cutting herself. I am not sure how to react, what to say/do, and am completely beside myself on this one. I believe that there are a number of reasons why she may be doing this but doubt that she will openly talk to me about them anyway.
One part of me just wants to snatch her up and hug her as tight as I can while I try to explain that the emotional side of being a teenager does go away and things will get better. Another part of me is just really sad and angry.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
I'm so sorry. This must be so painful for a mother to witness in her child. I think a hug would be great, but if she's cutting, I think a psychologist or a psychiatrist needs to be called in.
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,360
Go online and educate yourself about how to deal. We don't have an official diagnosis on my daughter yet but it's looking like bipolar. There are some great resources on how to help. Hugging sounds like a great start.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
I hope this works out for you. I know how it is sometimes you cant seem to get into there heads and figure out whats wrong. Or you get it but the last person they will listen to is you.
I have a difficult time connecting with my oldest child and its hard makes me feel like i'm a crummy father at times But I also know that this child has to meet me halfway etc..
Its tough for kids at that age but they also tend to not realize it doesnt have to be that tough.
I have a difficult time connecting with my oldest child and its hard makes me feel like i'm a crummy father at times But I also know that this child has to meet me halfway etc..
Its tough for kids at that age but they also tend to not realize it doesnt have to be that tough.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Very sorry to hear this....and wish you the best of luck in finding help. Growing up in today's world is a whole different ballgame compared to when most of us did....I truly hope you can get to the root of it and help. A hug also sounds like a great idea to me.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Indiana
Posts: 118
Thank you for your words. It is extremely frustrating, scary, sad, and many more... especially when it is your child.
I totally agree @ calling for professional help. I will have to take her to counselling, at this point anyway, whether she likes it or not because the only way that I found out was from the school. And they will now will require A, B, and C to be done in accordance to their rules.
My heart just breaks for her, she has already been through far more than any teenager should have to go through. Hopefully we can work through whatever issues that she is having.
I totally agree @ calling for professional help. I will have to take her to counselling, at this point anyway, whether she likes it or not because the only way that I found out was from the school. And they will now will require A, B, and C to be done in accordance to their rules.
My heart just breaks for her, she has already been through far more than any teenager should have to go through. Hopefully we can work through whatever issues that she is having.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
its tough with kids too because we have the benefit of age to look back at there situation and be able to help them solve all there issues. But I know when i was younger i didnt listen to no one I new everything etc.. Most kids dont realize how awesome they are they tend to get so caught up in whatever.
Of course the same could be said for many of us adults as well. I know I got a pretty thick head at times and fail to realize how great my life is all to often.
Of course the same could be said for many of us adults as well. I know I got a pretty thick head at times and fail to realize how great my life is all to often.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Indiana
Posts: 118
I most certainly have a thick head at times as well and don't always listen to good advice when it is given.
Times are so different now. When I was growing up, we didn't have all of the things that kids have now-a-days. If you got into an argument with someone at school, it was over when the bell rang. Now, it is all over social media and there is no escape from anything it seems.
I think we are going to have a nice, quiet dinner... just she and I so we can discuss (with any luck) what might be going on in her mind.
Times are so different now. When I was growing up, we didn't have all of the things that kids have now-a-days. If you got into an argument with someone at school, it was over when the bell rang. Now, it is all over social media and there is no escape from anything it seems.
I think we are going to have a nice, quiet dinner... just she and I so we can discuss (with any luck) what might be going on in her mind.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
Times are so different now. When I was growing up, we didn't have all of the things that kids have now-a-days. If you got into an argument with someone at school, it was over when the bell rang. Now, it is all over social media and there is no escape from anything it seems.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I'm sorry for your situation JensDestiny.
As we don't have a cutting sub forum, this is one of the few forums we can link to here - it has a great reputation and a family and friends section too
bus ? Index page
D
As we don't have a cutting sub forum, this is one of the few forums we can link to here - it has a great reputation and a family and friends section too
bus ? Index page
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
Originally Posted by JensDestiny 
This post is completely unrelated to sobriety/drinking/etc but I really need to vent and just type out my thoughts.
Today, I discovered that my 14 year old daughter has been cutting herself. I am not sure how to react, what to say/do, and am completely beside myself on this one. I believe that there are a number of reasons why she may be doing this but doubt that she will openly talk to me about them anyway.
One part of me just wants to snatch her up and hug her as tight as I can while I try to explain that the emotional side of being a teenager does go away and things will get better. Another part of me is just really sad and angry.
Today, I discovered that my 14 year old daughter has been cutting herself. I am not sure how to react, what to say/do, and am completely beside myself on this one. I believe that there are a number of reasons why she may be doing this but doubt that she will openly talk to me about them anyway.
One part of me just wants to snatch her up and hug her as tight as I can while I try to explain that the emotional side of being a teenager does go away and things will get better. Another part of me is just really sad and angry.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,256
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
I'm so sorry. This must be so painful for a mother to witness in her child. I think a hug would be great, but if she's cutting, I think a psychologist or a psychiatrist needs to be called in.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,256
Hi JensDestiny,
I once wrote a paper on cutting. There is usually a function behind the cutting, something it serves. For example, a lot of teenagers cut to relieve tension/pain in their life, and it provides a relief. Plus, the site of blood can validate the pain they are feeling in their lives. So I would presume that your daughter is in a lot of pain. In this case, a hug is better than being angry at her.
I once wrote a paper on cutting. There is usually a function behind the cutting, something it serves. For example, a lot of teenagers cut to relieve tension/pain in their life, and it provides a relief. Plus, the site of blood can validate the pain they are feeling in their lives. So I would presume that your daughter is in a lot of pain. In this case, a hug is better than being angry at her.
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