justme

I been trying to stay positive, I caught the end of Joel Osteen today he was talking about forgiveness but I start to think of all the things I've done when I've been drunk.... Ugh it's disgusting and embarrassing. I am such an idiot when I'm drunk, I don't think I can forgive myself of 20 years of shameful drunken moments....theses are the moments I think what's the point now just thinking....

QuietToday

I get caught up with memories also. I completely understand your feelings here. Sometimes I get so lost remembering the jerk and idiot and fool and monster I've been drunk that I seriously want to tear my face off.

But there is a point to sobriety, and that forgiveness is possible within yourself. You know what happens when you drink, who you become, and, most important, is that now you know you don't like that person.
The drunk you isn't fun, or interesting, or collected. It's a lousy, harmful entity that damages you not only when drinking, but also in your sober thinking state also.

Those memories are painful, but they need to be assessed in an additional way other than solely regret. They are each a learning experience that needs to be accepted as a stepping stone toward your sober resolve. At least, this is what I tell myself so to get past the paralytic state they put me
But it works for me, so maybe it will work for you

mecanix

When you did those things you're ashamed about you were a different person .

We learn and grow , we learn and grow fast in sobriety and by working on ourselves .

In one way it was you who did those things , in some other very important ways you are not that person anymore ..
If you stay sober and keep on then you won't go back .

Keep on , m

ScottFromWI

The best way to let go of the past is to live in the present. You, nor I nor anyone can change what has happened in the past. And everyone has done things that they regret, whether they are alcohol related or not. You can never forget the past (and you shouldn't) but you can use it as a reminder to do today what you didn't or couldn't do then.

Dee74

I agree with Scott - the more I worked on myself and my life now, the less the past bothered me. Call it a living amends if you like.

I'm not who I was anymore...and neither are you - it's time to move on.
Forgiveness is the first part of that

D

Soberintexas007

Or you can remind yourself that alcoholism is a DISEASE, so it was not really your fault that your behaved in those ways. You had a disease that you needed to be cured from. In other words, it was not your fault. It was biological.