Soberintexas007

The disease was too strong for me today, especially with my husband drinking around me all day. I had two margaritas at dinner, one shot of Grey Goose Vodka, and now am drinking a bottle of wine.

My AA people told me that I can still come to meetings if I relapse. I am going to discontinue therapy with my therapist since I am no longer gambling. And I don't want to go to rehab because I don't think I have hit that deep of a bottom. I don't work anymore, nor do I need to, as my husband and father take care of me. I am just going to exercise for three to four hours tomorrow to get back to my regular weight.

greens

You are always welcome back at meetings after relapsing. Many people there have been in that situation

Dee74

I think you need more support JB and maybe you need to use the support you have more effectively?

I know having a drinking spouse makes it harder but it shouldn't mean you can't get sober.

D

Soberintexas007

Thanks, Dee. I guess I am just not ready to stop drinking. I have not reached my personal bottom yet. Whenever I drink wine, people tell me that they guess I am ready to go to sleep. Is this true with wine? Does it make people sleepy? Unlike margaritas or Vodka?

Dee74

I think your addicted self would lovbe to convince you you're not ready.

I think you joined this site for a reason - I think you are ready...

but maybe realising what it will take to stay sober is scaring you and causing you to put the brakes on a little?

D

JeffreyAK

Is your husband willing to *not* drink around you all day, or around you at all? That's a tough situation to get sober within. And, is that the only reason you don't want to try inpatient/outpatient treatment, because you don't think you've gone deep enough? I promise you there is no bottom but the grave, and minimizing your own situation can lead to a mental free pass to probe ever deeper.

ScottFromWI

Alcohol is alcohol no matter what form you drink. And it is a depressant so it will make you sleepy eventually.

I'd agree with Dee, I think you actually need more support now that ever.

Soberintexas007

For whatever reasons, my husband cannot stop drinking on his off days and enjoys doing it. I think that because I know the situation is pretty much hopeless, I have chosen to give and join him, as I don't think he will be ever healthy enough to join me in a healthy relationship.

At this time, I don't know why I won't try inpatient or outpatient therapy. I don't have the answers right now. Life is complicated.

Soberintexas007

True, but I have heard from others that when I am drinking wine that they expect me to go to sleep later. Like when I was on my cruise and we were on our second bottle of wine, the waitress assumed that we we were going to bed after. I don't get those same comments with other forms of liquor like vodka or beer.

Soberintexas007

Why is everyone so worried about me?

Dee74

I have no idea,

I think you're better off thinking about where you're going than where you've been tho.

If you never drink again, the wine thing doesn't matter and neither will people have to be worried for you

D

Gottalife

Youv'e got some good friends here that are trying to help you. It's what friends do.

In my early days I went home to my parents and I remember they both offered to give up drinking if it would help me. I felt it was my problem, not theirs, so they shouldn't have to change their lives for my sake. I am gals they offered, but it wasn't necessary. I think even at that point I knew that my recovery was dependent on what I did, not what other people did.

I hasten to add though, that I had removed myself previously form a toxic alcoholic environment, which is why I was back home.

sugarbear1

I think we are worried as we've been where you are and we know what happens next.

Why not try inpatient, it couldn't hurt to try.

love and hugs to you

Soberintexas007

Honestly, thank you for your post. But I did not understand it? Am I that stoned? I read it twice.

Dee74

Maybe you're better off going to bed JB?

D

Soberintexas007

Yes, Thank You.

Weaver

I think people are "worried" about you because we have all been through it. We see the writing on the wall and we see the awful, horrific, tragic road that lies ahead for you.

Dust yourself off and try again. You CAN do it. But you have to WANT it. I mean WANT it. Maybe you don't "want" it right now, or maybe you haven't hit " your bottom" yet... The problem with that line of thinking is , is that "your bottom" keeps on getting further and further down. I had like 46 rock bottoms. Each one of them I said "well... It COULD be worse... People are worse off than I am" etc etc. I then looked around at the cluster F that was my life, and realized I was letting alcohol totally consume and control me. Don't let alcohol control you. You are strong and you have the power my friend.

It will keep getting worse. It will continue to get worse.
It must be terribly difficult to abstain (so soon into your recovery ) while watching your husband hammer back booze. Have you sat down and had a legit, in depth intimate conversation with him? Ask him. Ask him if he can abstain from drinking AROUND you while you get a bit of sober time under your belt.

We will be here for you, but you have to make the progress and changes to get the job done.

NoelleR

Do I discern a bit of pot and kettle, here...........?

(o:
NoelleR

zjw

waiting till you hit that bottom is not a really great strategy. Do your self a favor and nip this in the bud before it gets too bad.

huntingtontx

Wow, if I had a dollar for every time my alcoholic brain said I was not bad enough to quit. Or, I am not like them. I am not an alcoholic. LOL.... My husband drinks every night. That is what he does. I do not drink. That is what I do. Only you can decide to quit. It is up to you. No one can make you drink, and no one can make you quit. If you want to quit we are all here for you. I have never been in need of support here, someone is always here for me. When you feel like a drink, come here instead. It really does work.