silentrun

So he is not bringing you anything? Holy crap Sleepie are you dating my husband? What an ass.

sleepie

I know.
I explained HALT to him recently.
I feel like I'm not being taken seriously by him about this.

sleepie

LOL silentrun he's just being thick headed. He knows I am starving right now and that I have to bike home and that I will be tempted at every turn.

Hawkeye13

Did you ask him to order food for you or did you just say you were hungry?

Sometimes you need to be pretty direct about your needs and take yourself more seriously. . .

sleepie

I said I was hungry, had no money for food.

sleepie

I would have felt really guilty asking straight out.

Hawkeye13

I'm sorry he didn't take your hint, but don't let his bad behavior trigger you.

You can make it through your shift and your bike ride home.
You can stay sober and you will.

sleepie

I guess. I just feel enormously unsettled and unacknowledged by him right now.

sleepie

Partially because he had the whole day off and I am stuck indoors for ten hours at a time. I mean would it have killed him to get me a delivery?

Hawkeye13

If it were me, I'd tell him to fix me some food and have it ready when I got home since he had the day off, or, to get me some dam delivery

Maybe you should let him know how you feel by directly asking for acknowledgment.

Nothing changes if nothing changes sleepie--you deserve to be heard.

I'm off to bed in my time zone now and wishing you a safe sober night.

sleepie

Thanks Hawkeye Goodnight to you!

Soberintexas007

It seems to me that all of this is way too much work. Similar to my situation, we have to work way too hard for everything, Sleepie.

Lenina

Sleepie. He's dense. Sorry, but some men are. You have to be blunt. Just tell him you're hungry and will he please spring for a pizza or sub or whatever take out Iike. Don't beat around the bush. That's sure fire disappointment.

Is he having cash flow problems? No credit/debit cards?

Love from Lenina

Soberintexas007

This situation is about something bigger. Similar to my husband, Sleepie's husband does not want her to stay sober.

Lenina

This is where the self care comes in. I don't know. I like being sober I don't what to be drunk. I don't want to drink. I acknowledge that I have no reason to drink, but I used to make up lots of excuses.

Love from Lenina

Soberintexas007

It's difficult, Sleepie. Wow, I am giving this opinion while listening to Good One, Life Republic, so beware.

Do what you want to do. If you want to drink with him, then do that. If you want to stay sober from him, then do that?

I was listening to music, on my headphones, and my husband in his own way said that he wanted to live to Good LIfe as well. I am now.

sleepie

Well I made it home without drinking but I am still so mad I am seeing red. I am too worked up to even eat now. I feel sick. I stayed an extra hour at work and then biked an extra 45 minutes and sat and stared at a sign outside a bar with some very nice specials on it. My face is flushed I am so angry right now.

sleepie

I did keep thinking, I did not want to let the support I got on this thread to go to waste so thank you for that, I at least did not drink because of you guys.

But d*** if I am not so effing mad right now. I probably won't be able to sleep and I am not even looking at BF or talking to him. Seriously, I told him it wasn't fair of me to not allow him to drink at my friend's B-day can he just f***ing pay attention anyway usually he is great but when he drops the ball he drops it big time.

sleepie

Money is no issue for him. But that's part of the problem. He'd rather I give him a list of things I want instead of paying attention, talking, communicating, being involved in a relationship. Money is easy for him, people, and feelings are not.
Stupid, unevolved.

sleepie