Soberintexas007

In my 5 days of sobriety, part of me wants to tell my parents this, my in-laws this, my husband this, etc. etc. Then I tell myself to just chill out and relax. I don't need to fix or solve or plan for anything RIGHT NOW. Just focus on staying sober and working the steps, and when the time comes to take action, I will.

For example, I wanted to send my mother-in-law an update of how I was doing and what changes I was making so that she could have a perspective of where I am right now in my life. There was an agenda behind this thinking of wanting to let her know that I may not be able to attend such and such social function in the future (since there is a lot of drinking on her side of the family). But then I told myself to just STOP. I don't need to explain myself to her at this time. The time will come when I can assert my needs to take care of myself, and if my husband or she has a difficult time understanding these needs or thinks I am being ridiculous, well then that is something THEY have to deal with.

Many of these concerns stem from the fact that I have felt my husband's side of the family has been insensitive toward my sobriety, such as how they have glorified alcohol in the past in front of me. And we obviously know how insensitive my husband is towards my recovery, as he calmly drank alcohol in front of my last night in our apartment when he knew I only had 4 days of sobriety.

But I just want to leave all of this alone and not contact anyone. Just stay sober, go to AA meetings, and work the steps, simple. I can be so compulsive in other areas of my life that it drives me insane.

zjw

I think all of that is so AWESOME! and I SOOOO WISH i would have had that figured out at 5 days! i took me I dunno a year or more to start figureing that out and i still have to remind myself that sorta stuff at almost 4 years sober.

I'd also say hey why not take it a step further by even drawing any attention to any of this in your mind your taking your eye off the ball and feeding emotions so why not just forget about it and keep it simple etc.. But wait Thats kinda what you said with your last statement.

This tho is also there problem at some point in time you may want to directly address it. I'm not sure if this is the time. I agree your husband could be more sensitive. But he doesnt have a drinking problem or isnt trying to sober up or doesnt understand your struggle so maybe he just doesnt get it? Even if he does get it maybe try and not let it get to you? least not at this moment?

I think your last statement is king. KEEP IT SIMPLE. you and I both know staying sober is enough of a battle all by itself without all the other garbage that flows through our heads.

I had to blindly put one foot in front of the other in early sobriety. I went on blind faith alone just hoping one day it'd be worth it. I had to learn how to ignore the stuff i couldnt handle then learn how to accept it etc..

And I think part of working the steps is that you never really get to stop working the steps. I think working the steps is sort of a way of life. "oh yeah I need to check myself here" etc.. "oh yeah perhaps i should be more greatful" etc..

But I dunno sounds like your on the right track !

zjw

oh and no you absolutly do not have to fix everything right now. are you super women? I used to think i was superman or something i had to tackle it all and that just led to panic and anxiety and to a beer bottle. Now I just let things roll more.

if someone complains? sue me i'm just another imperfect human

sleepie

I think focusing on your plan for sobriety is a good call. Unfortunately when it comes to drinking, we can only control what we do, not others. So just do what"s best for you and stay focused- sounds smart.

Soberintexas007

Thanks. Just had a great Caesar salad. Now waiting on my ribs. Should feel nice and satiated after this dinner. And I brought my own diet coke without caffeine.

Elissa88

Focus on you. I am only a week sober and planning a vacation for my in laws and U.S. (Tradition, no in law issues) and my daughter is having surgery in two weeks for her tonsils. I am screaming "ONE DAY AT A TIME!"