Soberintexas007

So here I am doing well on almost Day 5, and when I talked with my former sponsor, the conversations immediately became a bit negative when she found out that I relapsed 5 days ago.

I told her that is the past, and I have a new plan now of having a sponsor, working the steps, going to AA meetings, quitting my stressful job, and that I now have 5 days, which is good.

She said that it just seems that I am unhappy, and that she thinks I should possibly go to rehab to clear my mind. She says that I am never happy.

I told her that I gave up gambling close to 30 days ago, and so it is natural for someone like me to be somewhat depressed, especially since I only have 5 days of sobriety.

Any thoughts?

Dee74

Everyone has an opinion JB. What do you feel you should do?

D

greens

I would say try working a program , other things like that before spending big money on rehab. It is always okay to ask other ppl (do u have any contacts in aa) they're experience, opinion , etc. What would be the pros and Cons of rehab for you

Soberintexas007

I think that I should continue doing what I'm doing with my meetings, my sponsor, exercising, and working the steps.

Her opinion is colored by the fact that she has been seeing me struggle, so I can understand where she is coming from.

But before I go to rehab, I want to at least give the AA program a shot.

Soberintexas007

I agree that I should first try working the program.

The reality is that me going to rehab would really cause a lot of chaos in my life, as it would shake everything up. My family would start blaming my husband for being in rehab, my husband would get all upset about being blamed, and just everything would be a mess. I am not ready for that chaos right now. I want to give the AA program a shot.

Dee74

There's your answer then

D

sugarbear1

be totally honest and thorough while working those steps, this is what I did and I had profound positive changes. I worked the steps 3 times my first year sober, every time I was getting uncomfortable. I am now working past 4 years of sobriety and I lost my unhappiness.

You can do this!!

zjw

I think it takes time to find happyness. I have no idea if Rehab would work better then another method. of course doing anything is better then doing nothing.

I'm not sure happiness is found in AA rehab or anywhere. I htink happiness is inside all of us already we just gotta find it inside of us.

not that rehab or aa are not great but I'm not sure if you'll find happiness there. You might however learn how to have a responsable life etc..

Berrybean

It sounds understandable to me that you'd want to at least give the AA program a shot before going into rehab.

When you say she has seen you 'struggle', what do you mean? I only ask as I think it's somewhat unusual that a sponsor would suggest this after five days knowing you, and she may be concerned for good reason. You say her 'judgement is coloured' which sounds kind of negative - does this mean you do not trust her judgement?? Is it bad advice, or just advice that you don't want to hear? I'm not sure we have enough information to judge.

Soberintexas007

Meaning, she is my former sponsor and has seen me relapse many times. So when she heard of my last relapse, she understandably suggested rehab. But I have made changes since my last relapse, such as getting a sponsor which I have not had in a long time and also going back to AA, which I have not done in awhile. So I wanted to give the AA program a shot since I have 5 days already before spending a lot of money on rehab.

Berrybean

Well, if you know that you're def doing things differently then it's probably worth a go (I've never been in rehab, but presumably that would take a little time to sort out anyway).

What does your current sponsor think about it?

Gottalife

I was an AA baby when I finally got sober. The rehab a year before introduced me to AA. The rehab istelf did not get me sober , but I think that had a lot to do with my attitude. For the first few days I was very cooperative and willing, but once the drama settled down, I found I could con my way through. The only problem with that was the fear that I experienced when it came time to leave, because I knew I had blown a good opportunity.

A year later I turn up in AA in Christchurch NZ. They were big on rehab. There was a marvelous pogram at Queen Mary Hospital at Hanmer and probably 90% of the mebership had been there. They were so enthusiastic about it they tried to sell it to me by making it sound like a holiday camp. Private rooms, horse riding and golf, none of which was true.

My thinking was that this was the last place I needed to go. I felt I had to accept responsibility and face up to life. So I didn't go. I found an AA recovered alcoholic as a sponsor, and the rest is history. AA worked just fine.

Don't let people put you off your plan. On a visit to Hamner, a nurse told me I would never get sober unless I did there program. When he retired he got drunk and died.

I got quite worried about the shall I go or not. My sponsor asked me if I felt the need to go, and honestly I did not, so he said don't go then.

The plan you have is the one I followed, and it worked very well for me.

Soberintexas007

Current sponsor has never even brought up the topic of rehab.

Berrybean

I just thought you might have mentioned the suggestion / conversation to your current sponsor (like you have to us here) to talk it through if it's playing on your mind. It could be a useful chat to have with them. And the current sponsor knows where you're at now.