Cobalt

I like being drunk but I hate being an addict.

Anyone else understand this simplistic urge/observation?

JamesWolf

Couldn't agree more.

I love the feeling of that slight relapse of reality, the ever so minor numbing of things. That buzz that makes whatever it is that day that set you off okay.

But. I hate having to have it.

MelindaFlowers

I used to live for being drunk so I hear you but I honestly hated it in the end. I couldn't stand it anymore. Alcohol didn't even really get me physically drunk anymore. Man, I don't miss anything about it.

Lily123

There's a very brief point during the first few drinks where the high feels great. But then I always keep drinking until I cant anymore. It's just not worth the pain.

Soberintexas007

Yes, exactly. There's that initial buzz within the first few drinks that eases the anxiety inherent in life. For me, that "good feeling" lasts at most an hour. But then I keep going, do stupid things that I regret the next day, can't sleep that night, wake up hungover, etc. etc.

MelindaFlowers

The cost/benefit relationship kept getting more and more skewed. The last time I drank I did the the first six drinks thinking it was great, the second six worried about the hangover and the next five days feeling anxious, sweaty, skin crawling, and wondering if my blood pressure was high enough to have a stroke or heart attack.

The first few drinks feeling lasted only maybe an hour or two because I drank really fast.

Boleo

The 2 things active addicts hate the most are;

1. Change
2. The way things are

zjw

if drinking didnt have a down side i'd still be doing it. I just dont wanna ride that coaster any more.

even when i was drunk tho it was a balancing act to keep the booze flowing not pass out or puke. I almost always failed one way or another.

MIRecovery

At some point I enjoyed drinking but eventually I had to drink. Then being an alcoholic and addict merged into one thing. It was at this point that alcohol completely had me in its grasp

interruptedgirl

I am on day 7 and I definitely have a love hate relationship with booze. Yes the first few drinks are the best, but not having that stop button and then turning into someone/thing I don't recognize and then the downward slope of regret and embarrassment after...

Rivelino

I loved getting drunk and was too defiant to ever call myself an addict
I loved the anticipation of a "good session" with friends
I loved the excitement of the buzz and the removal of inhibition
I loved the craic with friends when the booze is flowing
I loved the feeling that I could take on the world and my grandiosity knew no bounds

The reality was I drank on my own most of the time, was an ********, lost friendships, business reputation, jobs, the respect of my wife and daughters. I gained alcohol related liver disease, facial scars from fighting and falling, many regretful episodes, anxiety, depression, suicide attempts.

In the cost/benefit analysis it's a no brainer and that as I can't stop when I start drinking there is only one course available to me if I want to have any kind of reasonable life and that is to not pick up the first drink.

Venecia

I cannot even remember the last time drinking felt good to me. It was simply feeding the monster.

In August, I'll have two years of sobriety. This life feels better beyond any words I could use to describe it.