sleepie

Same as before I drank.
I was down earlier.
Oh well.

Soberintexas007

When you say same as before you drank, do you mean that how you are feeling now is how you felt when you drank? I'm a bit confused.

sleepie

Oh that I always felt this way, before I ever drank. Like in the days before I ever began drinking.

Dee74

I think change is a process Sleepie.
You have to sit with being uncomfortable for a little while...but there;s always support here

Soberintexas007

I see. I am trying to remember how I felt before I started to drink at the age of 15. Hmmmm.....I'm not really sure, as I was always so busy in school and sports to try and please my parents that I don't think I had the time to even feel depressed or sad or lonely. But I do know that I felt different from other people. I probably was depressed (but was unaware of it), and the alcohol finally made me feel good and accepted. I remember when I first drank beer at a keg in high school, and for the first time I felt like I could relate to other people and did not worry what they were thinking about me. I finally felt like I had friends, but only because I was now drinking with these people. But then I began to abuse alcohol for this reason, and thus began the pathway to abuse and now the need for recovery.

sleepie

I guess. It's always like this though. I think I am too stupid to find useful things to do. So I bore quickly, then I get anxious. I just bore quickly. Always a problem.

sleepie

I didn't drink until I was in my late 20's.

Soberintexas007

This is what my parents say to me as well. I get bored too, and then I start thinking too much and call them. They tell me to find something to do to distract myself, as they say that I am overthinking and driving myself crazy. But, like you, I get tired of this same pattern of having to overcome all of this. But I guess it is a process and a daily struggle.

I don't know if you go to AA. But I have exchanged phone numbers and I find people who I can call on the phone and talk to when I feel lonely and anxious. Have you tried this?

sleepie

No. I hate to bother people, I would never call anyone. I used to drive people crazy with my anxieties and lost all my friends so now I don't risk it.

Soberintexas007

Do you go to AA or any other program?

sleepie

No. I used to a little. Didn't really do much for me, I met some crazies and said no thanks. One guy asked me out, another offered me coke.

zjw

I climbed the walls in the begining. heck even when i distracted myself i was still anxious antsy and well thirsty. I just had to keep pushing forward. I wish I had a majical answer. there are a lot of tips and tricks and things we can do to distract ourselves and all of this is good. But there is not silver bullet. There is no magical pill that makes this all a cake walk. I friggen wish there was. But in time it gets easier.

your doing good just keep trying keep moving forward.

QuietToday

Boredom can be tough. I think I'm like you with how you've described it in other posts; sometimes it just hits so hard that even if there are tons of things to do, I still can't be compelled to actually do them. Just laze about bored instead--- even though I don't like doing that.

Sometimes when I can force myself to beat it, I take the 20 minute walk to the coffee place nearby, and bring my laptop and a notebook with me. I either find myself doing some work on whatever I'm self-studying at the time, or just doodling in the notebook. Eventually, by the time I get back home, I feel better enough to shower and be able to read a book.

Not sure if you've got somewhere you can walk to, but it's always helped me. It sucks to walk when bored like it sucks to do anything, but for whatever reason that's the one thing I'm able to force myself to do.

Bostonsportsfan

Hang in there Sleepie. It's going to be tough for a little while, but the longer you stay sober, the better it will be.