Fly N Buy

Posting is very important - it is a form of release for sure. Perhaps consider going to some face to face support as well. You may find additional much needed support!

I read through some of your posts. Most on SR are not going to hate you - there's a lot of empathy. But, I am sure we all want not only what's best for you but for your child who does not get a vote.

At some point when the baby is born you may very well wish you could change the fact you're drinking now. I strongly urge you to go to IP treatment or at least OP support.

SR is here but may need other help..........today!

ScottFromWI

Everyone makes mistakes, including your parents. If the relationship you have with them is not a good one, you might want to consider removing yourself from it for a while. Tell them you have some things you need to work out on your own and just step away for a while.

Your original post mentioned that you are miserable with or without alcohol. Many of us have underlying conditions ( depression, anxiety, etc ). Those things dont simply go away when you stop drinking. Have you ever spoken to a counselor or a doctor to see if you could benefit from counseling?

doggonecarl

In about 5 weeks your job is going to be "mother." Prepare for that job...and the sobriety you'll need to accomplish it.

calypso17

Have you ever spoken to a counselor or a doctor to see if you could benefit from counseling?[/QUOTE]

I've been diagnosed with major depression, PTSD, and anxiety. I've talked to counselors in the past but none as of recently.

Thought about IP, but I just started a new job, which I'm bound to get fired from. I've been really sick and missed a week of work, ontop of taking time off for doc appointments...
Makes me feel incompetent and a failure

ScottFromWI

I would suggest seeing a counselor again, or at least let your regular doctor know about those issues. You are going to have to make some effort to change on your own though, there is no magic pill or technique that will trasnform you into a happy/motivated person. At some point you need to stop the negative thinking and make a change.

chickippo

I am an alcoholic and a mother. there is no judgement here.

however. you could go into labour literally at any moment. what do you plan to tell the medical staff when you are in the delivery room, drunk? what will you then tell the social worker they will call? the doctors when they tell you that you need to be honest so they can run the tests on your newborn?

this is real life and I know you know that and I know it's tough and you're hurting. but for now, you have a passenger, and when they are born, you have a child.

please get some help. you deserve better than this.

Soberintexas007

Sorry to hear about your relapse. I have been there many times. Driving home from work and choosing alcohol instead of food. If only I had chosen food, the craving most likely would have passed. But I chose instead for the immediate gratification of alcohol and decided to not think of the longterm consequences - being hungover, being irritable and restless. I have a family vacation in early August coming up, and I realize that I need to get sober NOW, or else I will end up going on that vacation a drinking woman and not being able to function and causing drama with everyone. Before I pick up my first drink, I need to consider the longterm consequences - vacation coming up, work, studying for two exams, weight loss goals, and just being a normal person who can be around my family members and not try and escape them since I just want to drink. I pray that I continue to make the right decision or else I will probably end up hospitalized somewhere since I cannot take the discontent anymore.

thomas11

Hi Calypso, you sound very hard on yourself, and I think that is very common. But it does not contribute to a solution or improvement. I am sorry about your situation but you with some effort I believe you will pull through this.
I agree with Carl, you are going to have a brand new job pretty soon, your title will be CEO of Family Operations....Mom.

Soberwolf

What Scott said

calypso17

If I could delete this entire post I would

Dee74

How are you going Calypso?

D

Hawkeye13

Sending you support calyspso--it sounds like things have been a struggle.

Many of us took lots of tries to quit, and the early days are difficult,
but as someone else said on this thread, it gets so much better down
the road a bit.

Please let us know how you are doing--

ScottFromWI

Deleting a post won't change the reality of the situation though now, would it? Can we help?

Bluebird1927

No one is bored of you far from it. I've failed hundreds of times, people understand. I've had a few ****** days but I tell you for a fact they were much better days then if I was drinking. Chin up and keep coming back here as many times as it takes

JimdiGriz

Hi calypso. With the exception of being pregnant you pretty much nailed my basic level of feeling, in my worst hours
But you're pregnant on top! So hats off to you for dealing with all this.
I can't patronise or offer much constructive advice. You sound stubborn, strong, in touch with yourself and scared to be vulnerable and shunning the confusion of so many conflicting abrasive states of being.
Sorry you're there, but if I'm realising one thing it's I cannot survive this alone. Keep posting on Sr and I send a prayer in your direction. Bless you