Unable to stop
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
Originally Posted by doggonecarl 
It doesn't sound stupid. But it sounds very alcoholic.
Hope in two months you find your way back.
Hope in two months you find your way back.
I too hope you make it back. It took me ten years, some never make it back.
That is not a scare tactic or some cult mind trick, it is just the honest truth. You will find that some of us alcoholics that climbed out of the pit do not sugar coat the facts.
I am not saying in two months you will be dead or that you can't try in two months, again, it is your life, your call but I can tell you that it won't be any easier two months from now or two years from now or ten years from now. It will only get more difficult.
I also want you to take a look at your partner. You are willing to continue to binge for two more months, are they willing to tolerate it for two more months? Have you asked how they feel about it?
While we have to decide to get sober for ourselves, we also take hostages while we are "enjoying" our drink, they on the other hand, not so much.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by JohnTrey
For anyone that has done this in the past, what are the long term aims after being sober for six months? What do I do after this time? What if I cannot make six months?
I don't proclaim that I will NEVER drink again...because that would be foolish in my eyes....I cannot predict what will happen over the next half of my life. I can promise myself that I will commit to staying sober every day though.
I think what you are doing is trying to negotiate with your own addiction as to how long you can keep drinking or how long you have to stay sober to return to drinking safely. For most of us that's never a possibility.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 7
It's been over three years since I initially posted this message. Rereading it now upsets me greatly.
Over the last three years I have had short breaks in my drinking, but I always end up drinking again, and things have got progressively worse. I have now added cocaine to my list of ridiculous and dangerous things that I do when under the influence.
I could write a book with ridiculous things that I've done while drunk in the three years since I initially posted this and I feel at my lowest point right now after drinking 15-20 pints of lager and hundreds of pounds (GBP) worth of cocaine last night.
I am now taking the step to announce to my friends, family and peers that I no longer wish to drink at all. I will hopefully find some words of inspiration and support from this forum as I progress.
I have since got engaged to my amazing fiancé and I know that if I don't stop drinking right now, then I will lose her. She loves me greatly, but my actions will certainly drive her away if I don't stop immediately. To be perfectly honest, she deserves a better person than me while I continue to drink.
Over the last three years I have had short breaks in my drinking, but I always end up drinking again, and things have got progressively worse. I have now added cocaine to my list of ridiculous and dangerous things that I do when under the influence.
I could write a book with ridiculous things that I've done while drunk in the three years since I initially posted this and I feel at my lowest point right now after drinking 15-20 pints of lager and hundreds of pounds (GBP) worth of cocaine last night.
I am now taking the step to announce to my friends, family and peers that I no longer wish to drink at all. I will hopefully find some words of inspiration and support from this forum as I progress.
I have since got engaged to my amazing fiancé and I know that if I don't stop drinking right now, then I will lose her. She loves me greatly, but my actions will certainly drive her away if I don't stop immediately. To be perfectly honest, she deserves a better person than me while I continue to drink.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I hope you'll decide to take action this time.
How about looking up an AA meeting and going to it today? You'll make new friends, sober friends.
When I quit, I was a mess. I found out just how much of a mess when I did quit. Numbing out all of life tends to lead to a few problems. The first few days of withdrawal were uncomfortable, and then the healing began. It can happen for you, too. It's well worth the bit of effort it takes.
Have you considered asking your doctor for help? I was able to quit on my own with the help of this site and AA meetings for a few months, but there is medical help available to ease the transition. There is plenty of help out there (and here) if you reach for it. We understand. I hope you'll keep reading around the site and keep talking/posting.
How about today - tonight - you go to bed sober?
How about looking up an AA meeting and going to it today? You'll make new friends, sober friends.
When I quit, I was a mess. I found out just how much of a mess when I did quit. Numbing out all of life tends to lead to a few problems. The first few days of withdrawal were uncomfortable, and then the healing began. It can happen for you, too. It's well worth the bit of effort it takes.
Have you considered asking your doctor for help? I was able to quit on my own with the help of this site and AA meetings for a few months, but there is medical help available to ease the transition. There is plenty of help out there (and here) if you reach for it. We understand. I hope you'll keep reading around the site and keep talking/posting.
How about today - tonight - you go to bed sober?
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
good to see you back, JohnTrey, .
I am now taking the step to announce to my friends, family and peers that I no longer wish to drink at all. I will hopefully find some words of inspiration and support from this forum as I progress.
just a heads up : you may find yourself very much wishing to drink, so the important thing is to move forward in a way that doesn't depend on whatever your wish of the moment is.
to that end, various solutions are available in programs, plans, et cetera.
look around, see what works for folks/what folks make work for them and find your way.
I am now taking the step to announce to my friends, family and peers that I no longer wish to drink at all. I will hopefully find some words of inspiration and support from this forum as I progress.
just a heads up : you may find yourself very much wishing to drink, so the important thing is to move forward in a way that doesn't depend on whatever your wish of the moment is.
to that end, various solutions are available in programs, plans, et cetera.
look around, see what works for folks/what folks make work for them and find your way.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Hey John, welcome back, and thanks for returning to this old thread. It is like having the benefit of a time machine.
When I started reading a few minutes ago, I didn't immediately notice that it was an old thread. I read your post and your statement "I am not an alcoholic", and thought "time will tell".
The label is to some unpleasant, but it may be a fact in your case. Changing or ignoring the label will not change the consequences or the progression, and it might make finding a viable means of recovery more difficult. Because you have come back, we all, you included, get a really good look at the progression and also how you have been managing the problem on your own.
If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, quacks like a duck, then the chances are it's a duck.
Your problem seems to be that though you can stop drinking, you can't stay stopped. There was a slogan I heard for the first time yesterday that seems apropo. "If you could've, you would've, but you didn't so you can't"
It doesn't mean recovery is not possible, it means you have demonstrated the true nature of your problem, will have to admit that, and accept the kind of help us other alky's had to to recover, if indeed you truly desire to stop for good.
When I started reading a few minutes ago, I didn't immediately notice that it was an old thread. I read your post and your statement "I am not an alcoholic", and thought "time will tell".
The label is to some unpleasant, but it may be a fact in your case. Changing or ignoring the label will not change the consequences or the progression, and it might make finding a viable means of recovery more difficult. Because you have come back, we all, you included, get a really good look at the progression and also how you have been managing the problem on your own.
If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, quacks like a duck, then the chances are it's a duck.
Your problem seems to be that though you can stop drinking, you can't stay stopped. There was a slogan I heard for the first time yesterday that seems apropo. "If you could've, you would've, but you didn't so you can't"
It doesn't mean recovery is not possible, it means you have demonstrated the true nature of your problem, will have to admit that, and accept the kind of help us other alky's had to to recover, if indeed you truly desire to stop for good.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 116
Originally Posted by JohnTrey
Hi all,
New to the site and not sure where to turn. I have an alcohol problem but I am not an addict - i am not dependent on alcohol itself but i am susceptible to losing control once I start drinking and then I will do all sorts of things that can, and ultimately will, completely ruin my life.
At the moment, I have a very happy life - great partner, good job, perfectly healthy but once I have had a drink I put all of this is serious jeopardy. Because alcohol is such a large part of my culture and the culture of those around me it is very difficult to stop - almost impossible.
Each time I try to stop drinking, I know that it is not permanent and I have only lasted three weeks at the most before I find myself in the pub on a 16 hour bender where I have had 15-20 pints and I can't remember what I have done - but people will tell me and I will feel sick, remorseful and am stuck with immense feelings of shame and guilt as I realise the ramifications of my actions.
Despite this I will constantly find myself back at the bottle. I have read books, sought counselling and I currently have the offer of medication, although i am not confident this is the answer.
Has anyone ever experienced this? I am not an alcoholic but I know I need to stop. However after a few weeks (maximum) I convince myself I will be ok but I never am and I find myself in this rot time after time after time.
Amongst the aforementioned feelings of guilt, I contemplate suicide because of how much I know I might hurt/embarrass those around me that I care for immensely. The thought of upsetting these people then convinces me to never take the thought of suicide too seriously. I am concerned that if I continue to alienate these people with my drinking my mindset towards taking my own life may change. It strikes me as idiotic, as I write this, that I will ever drink again, but I know I invariably will.
Any help or advice would be indescribably appreciated.
John
New to the site and not sure where to turn. I have an alcohol problem but I am not an addict - i am not dependent on alcohol itself but i am susceptible to losing control once I start drinking and then I will do all sorts of things that can, and ultimately will, completely ruin my life.
At the moment, I have a very happy life - great partner, good job, perfectly healthy but once I have had a drink I put all of this is serious jeopardy. Because alcohol is such a large part of my culture and the culture of those around me it is very difficult to stop - almost impossible.
Each time I try to stop drinking, I know that it is not permanent and I have only lasted three weeks at the most before I find myself in the pub on a 16 hour bender where I have had 15-20 pints and I can't remember what I have done - but people will tell me and I will feel sick, remorseful and am stuck with immense feelings of shame and guilt as I realise the ramifications of my actions.
Despite this I will constantly find myself back at the bottle. I have read books, sought counselling and I currently have the offer of medication, although i am not confident this is the answer.
Has anyone ever experienced this? I am not an alcoholic but I know I need to stop. However after a few weeks (maximum) I convince myself I will be ok but I never am and I find myself in this rot time after time after time.
Amongst the aforementioned feelings of guilt, I contemplate suicide because of how much I know I might hurt/embarrass those around me that I care for immensely. The thought of upsetting these people then convinces me to never take the thought of suicide too seriously. I am concerned that if I continue to alienate these people with my drinking my mindset towards taking my own life may change. It strikes me as idiotic, as I write this, that I will ever drink again, but I know I invariably will.
Any help or advice would be indescribably appreciated.
John
John,
We’ve all been there. It’s not easy. I read daily on here now. I know alcohol is going to kill me if I don’t stop and stay stopped.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
