Gottalife

Its getting bad when being sober or drunk is equally unattractive. In the end, I just wanted the suffering to stop.

JamesWolf

I guess I really am just lying to myself saying I can do it. I mean, I have days the lie is easy. I have to realize there are days all I will want to do is have a beer, followed by a lot more beers.

I have to get in control. I have to be able to say NO. No is the hardest thing for me to say, with everything not just beer. I don't know, I'm worried if I just hide from beer, I'm not going to gain any control over it. If I hide from it and it comes back, I don't know if I can say no yet. I think I need to learn to say no. To be able to look at a beer and say "no thanks" to answer "what can I get you to drink?" with pop or some other completely unsatisfactory beverage

Dee74

One of the fanciest lies addiction will tell you is you have to be around booze to beat it. Thats BS.

Your opponent is not alcohol - it's alcoholism

I needed to change - I found that staying away from booze and boozers for a while was the best thing I could do to help that process of change.

Now I can go anywhere and do anything...but I had to build up my sober muscles first.

Noone lifts 300 lbs right off...you work up to it.

D

JamesWolf

So I should stay as far away from it as possible? Build up not needing it before I see it?

Soberintexas007

How are you doing Rivelino? Have you managed to stay sober?

Dee74

That's what I did for a few months. Alcohol was so integral to my life, I needed to put clear distance between who I had been and who I wanted to become...if that makes sense?

Looking back now a few months is a blip in time...I see the time as a great investment that's still paying off.

D

Rivelino

Thankfully I have, I'm on Day 16 JB. I've had a couple of psychological wobbles which led to some stinking thinking but I have got through them with the mantra "this too shall pass" being a Godsend.

I am having a great sober day today so just enjoying the moment really as I appreciate that "this too shall pass" is equally applicable to feeling good.

Venecia

Getting sober involves a complex set of changes in our minds and bodies. We've all been there. It involves responding to those changes with thoughtful consideration and care of our bodies.

But you're on to something, Rivelino. We are prone to overthink things and sometimes what we have to do is remind ourselves that, as you said, "this, too, shall pass."

Because it does. Congrats on reaching some good milestones and thank you for sharing your experience here. It is important for newcomers to get that insight not just from some of us who've been sober a while but those who are embarking on this wonderful, positive change in life.

justme

This post was exactly what I needed to hear! I often feel like I'm not like my dad who drank everyday but the results are the same when I binge drink. I want so bad to control drinking like a normal drinker. Lately Friday or Saturdays are those days I have to be strong or I'll be that person I hate. I woke up this morning feeling great no regrets but last night I almost went out with my friends. I'm glad I stayed home but will I be able to do that next weekend or the weekend after that? Yes, one minute at a time. Thank you for your post.

Soberintexas007

Great job! Good for you!

Rivelino

I have had a great few days, feeling much fitter and healthier physically and mentally, eating well and practicing mindfulness reasonably effectively.

Strange thinking happened tonight as I reflected on how well I am feeling and then my thoughts moved swiftly on to wouldn't it be great to have a drink to make me feel even better!

The mind is just crazy, now that I am feeling great it is urging me to do something that makes me ill and feel terrible in every way on the premise that it will make me feel even better. What screwed up logic is that.

Thankfully I realised it was the AV, nothing more and I let it pass. Looking forward to waking up with another day's sobriety behind me.

Thanks for being here for me and though I have not been posting much the identification I get from reading others posts has been very helpful to me this past 3 weeks.

Rivelino

Today marks 1 calendar month of sobriety for me.

I need to remind myself how I felt then and not get complacent because I feel better now.

My plan has developed into 3 key points

1) Never ever pick up the first drink.
2) Mindfulness of living in the present only.
3) Gratitude for all the good things I still have in my life.

These 3 points and the wisdom and knowledge I gain from this site are leading me to a much better life, one where anxiety and depression are fleeting thoughts that I can deal with by recognising "this too shall pass".

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to share my thoughts.

Soberintexas007

Congrats on 30 days! What a huge accomplishment! Keep on going!

Hawkeye13

This is a fantastic plan in a nutshell--
you are too right about complacency being a risk as well.

Congrats on your 30 days--you are doing great!

bunchie

Drinking on antibuse makes you an alcoholic in my opinion you are taking medication to stop your drinking and you defy its purpose in order to get drunk, stop lying to yourself your an alcoholic with a drinking problem! Good luck

BlissWithin

1 month is amazing Rivelino. Also is amazing foreign people paying tributes to older brazilian footballers besides Pelé lol

doublecheck

Have been sober 4 half years. anytime you want to drink say not for next 5 min I can do anything for 5 minutes. Then see how you feel.

Also blv in something bigger then yourself. For me it's my first son. If I drink I am letting him down. It gets easier every day some better then others.

Rivelino

Can't argue with that assessment bunchie, when you look at the behaviour in the cold light of day in isolation, never mind my inability to stop once I start it is crazy to believe anything other than what you've stated.

Appreciate your honesty.

Rivelino

Thanks BW, I loved Rivelino as a player, what a left foot! I remember watching him train when I was a little boy at Hampden Park in Glasgow and was in total awe of watching the best international football team of all time.

Rivelino

That's great advice dc, what a tremendous achievement to have been sober for 4 and a half years and a great exemplar for me to try my best to emulate.