realizingtruth

If you're not anonymous, when did you "come out," so to speak, and how did it affect your life? I'm in the process with certain people and it's gone all kinds of ways...

ScottFromWI

I told my wife, my immediate family and that's about it. I don't really feel the need to tell anyone else and frankly no one has asked either.

realizingtruth

I realize there are certain close friends of mine I probably need to tell. It isn't that they will judge me, I know that -- in fact, they might be relieved. The secret is out in my life that I obviously "enjoy" my drinking a little too much. I have just noticed lately with certain friends that they say things like, "I'm having SUCH a hard week and can't wait to hang out this weekend over a bottle of wine with you." What they don't understand is that I would have those couple of glasses, go home, and probably drink way more while they just go to sleep like "normal" people. I'm sure I'm making a bigger deal out of it than it is. people who love you will understand. my parents know and have started al-anon, which is amazing of them.

JeffreyAK

I've never felt a need to discuss except with close friends and family. Other folks who know me, like co-workers, knew what was going on I'm sure, but I've never talked about it - actions speak louder than words anyways. And only very rarely has anyone asked what was going on back then, and why I disappeared on medical disability for a long time.

realizingtruth

yeah, co-workers don't really concern me. I suppose my sponsor will guide me through some of that anyway.

Boleo

At some point in my recovery, between 1 - 2 years, I realized that I no longer needed to fake being anonymous and just let it happen with or without my consent.

I now view anonymity not as something I do but as something Wrtu (Whatever Runs The Universe) does for me. Wrtu does not discriminate, judge or discriminate based on what I am, but rather on what I "DO" from this moment forward.

GracieLou

I was not going to tell anyone but my mother took it upon herself to tell my children, her friends, family members, ex-husbands and old friends that I didn’t even speak to anymore.

None of these people, except my children, where in my immediate life so it really made no difference to my sobriety. It was just her way of trying to sabotage. She never thought I would stay sober and wanted as many people to know so she could bath in the “I told you so” moment that never happened.

To the rest of the world, including work, I remain anonymous. I would break my anonymity if it was to help another alcoholic. I am sure there are other alcoholics and AA members I work with I just don’t know about them, yet.

ScottFromWI

I think you hit the nail on the head there. Really, no one pays much attention to whether you are drinking or not. Your addiction would have you think so, but in reality most people really don't care or even notice. Sure, your drinking buddies will notice, but then again you probably won't be hanging around with them anyway.

I have been sober for a couple year now, which isn't very long compared to many here, but i've been offered a lot of drinks in that time. And to be perfectly honest, all i've ever had to say when offered is "no thanks". Not a single person has ever asked me why i'm not drinking. Or they offer a soft drink or a water.

So for me, I don't even think of it as being "anonymous" that I am sober. It just is.

realizingtruth

Wow, that is a great way to look at it. I think you're exactly right... most people are too busy thinking of themselves anyway, especially a bunch of drinkers.

Soberwolf

I agree with Scott 5000%

Andante

Gotta drag out this creaky old saw:

"You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do."

realizingtruth

saw away!

pulltight

I never made a big announcement about my decision to quit but all my friends, family and coworkers that know me are aware I stopped and very few asked why.
The ones that drink still drink around me and the ones who didn't still don't.
I never said to anyone that I am an alcoholic, heavy drinker or binge drinker but I have no problem admitting to myself that I have a serious drinking problem or am a binge drinker, heavy drinker or alcoholic. I'll be any of those, doesn't matter.
What matters is that when asked, I just don't drink anymore.

dsmaxis10

My family knows so do my friends that I know longer hang out with. Not that I quit hanging out with my friends because I said I'm trying to quit drinking if you would like to go fishing or something let me know. They never asked to do something sober with me. But I have friends in AA that I talk to at a deeper level then friends I had my whole life.