Soberpotamus

Same as Gilmer, I'm much less obnoxious these days I seem to be able to handle more stress, and am more capable of higher thought processes and decision making.

There was a stage during that first year though when I'd discovered my voice again, the power of "hell NO," and the moment I realized I actually had some real preferences and tastes in things - and to my astonishment, they weren't what I'd always assumed or postured That was enlightening, lol.

Much less obnoxious these days. Though I have my moments, I'm sure. My husband lets me know when I'm an ass.

alphaomega

Hmmmmm. Obnoxious ? Prolly not.

I was a emotional time bomb in active addiction. Never really angry, more morose and sullen and a hot anxious mess. (Operative word being ANXIOUS).

I'm finding I took whatever I could get in regards to everything. Primarily because I had no idea what I really wanted out of a relationship. Emotionally, physically, spiritually, I was willing to nom on the scrapple that was cast to me.

Not anymore.

The more sober I become, the less shame and guilt regarding who I am as a person. The more I learn about myself and am willing to ask for my needs met the weirder the looks get from everyone around me. Almost as if I never had a say before, who the hell do I think I am having one now ?

Just another little benefit of sobriety.

thotful

Wondering about the "obnoxious" thing. Did someone express displeasure with your changes and called you obnoxious?

In my experience, there are people who LOVED my sobriety and celebrate it. They tell me that my work is an inspiration.

Then there's some people who are either still active in their disease or in denial that a loved one is still active (many of my FOO - my father is active). I am told that I'm being selfish, self-centered, etc. I would argue that they really don't like my sobriety, don't want to acknowledge it's value, etc.

I think that those that don't have recovery for themselves feel threatened and might resort to name calling.

I'm happy with my life now. Yeah, I might make a mistake and exert aggression instead of assertiveness, but a blanket statement like "you're obnoxious" or "you're too aggressive" seems really obtuse and close-minded.

I try to do what works best for me, and keep working the program. I gauge the value of my work on my own terms, not on others (if I can help it!). Otherwise, I hand my life to another person (and many of my FOO members are not to be trusted with my emotional health!)

courage2

No one has called me obnoxious -- to my face

I'm often described as scary, so I guess they wouldn't.

So, I ask these questions in a safe, anonymous forum, where y'all don't have to deal w/me if you don't want to.

Plus, I just think it's a good thing for anyone in recovery to consider.

Plus, I like the word. Obnoxious. It's got those nice round sounds upfront, and that strong middle. A yummy word.

Gilmer

That's true! It is really satisfying to pronounce!

fini

yeah, and it's got the obvious noxious component

waynetheking

I think I listen to others carefully now. And in turn makes me more agreeable with people. Less obnoxious I suppose. I think its a another benefit of sobriety. We just deal with people with more respect.

Yankee73

When I was drinking, I didn't know who the Hell I was. Being numb was my best option because then I wouldn't have to care either way... when I sobered up and figured it out, people had to hit the decks because they weren't allowed to get away with their usual nonsense. They didn't like it because I had always been so "nice & agreeable"- because I was drunk all the time...