April202015

Today marks my 4th day sober. I feel very good. Been keeping busy, eating all sorts of healthy goodies and even indulging in some treats (ice cream!) in the evenings. Been sleeping more soundly.
My mind has been in many places over the past four days. Today I started to wonder about friends. No, not the TV show, sillies, but those we call our friends, our comrades, buddies, etc.
My question is: did you lose friends when drinking? Did you lose friends when you got sober? I wonder about the people I've let get close to me over the past decade or so. I wonder more about the isolation I've created at various times. I wonder about toxicity, about the energy of certain people and how it can swing the mood in a room their will. I also wonder about those I pushed away because of intimacy issues. I wonder about how my drinking blinded me to a potential friend or lover or both.
Just writing my thoughts tonight.
Speaking of ice cream -- It's Ben & Jerry's time!

ScottFromWI

Congrats on 4 days. There are certainly a lot of questions we face in sobriety. I did lose some friends, but most of them were really just drinking buddies looking back. The relationships you gain in sobrietry are much fuller and meaningful....keep at it and you'll be amazed where you can go.

FLCamper

Great job on the 4 days!
I didn't have drinking buddies. In fact, most of my friends would be shocked to know I drank at all. So, I haven't lost any because I quit.

Nevertheless

I seldom see the people I used to drink with. We have little in common when you remove the booze. They are for the most part still my friends. (the ones that are still alive). As a matter of fact,usually when I hear from one is when they need a favor.
The really good thing is,I no longer wake up in the morning wondering if I actually did or said what I thought I did,or hope it was just a bad dream. If I make some one mad now,I don't have to worry. Because I was sober. I know I made a sober decision,and if someone is displeased I can live with it. Not like I did in my drinking days,where day in and day out I wished I could take something back. I am in control,and no longer a slave.
Reading this back it almost sounds like a rant,maybe it is. One of the things I had to do to get sober was get mad at my friend Mr. alcohol. That S.O.B. is a friend i will not miss.
I wish you the best.
Fred

amidone

Three of the most difficult things about getting sober in my mind are what you spoke about: The friends you currently drink with and how to handle them after you quit. IE no friends? How to make new non drinking friends as an adult? And what the heck to do with the time that you don't drink when you become sober. For me that's replacing 8 plus hours a day as a beer drinker. I haven't found the answer to any of these questions unfortunately.

Be careful of that Ben and Jerry's! For the last decade I took Super Bowl to March Madness off drinking. Just to have some sobriety in my life each year. Nearly 1.5 months every year. I immediately replaced the alcohol with sweets every time!! The brain needs something once the alcohol goes away. Just a heads up!

April202015

It's a very strange things indeed. The brain, it gets hungry and will reach one substance with another. Though, I just can't sit there and eat sweets the way I could drink beer. I mean, a few tablespoons of ice cream and I'm content. Really, I don't keep going back to the freezer until the pints run out, then run off to the nearest store to buy another, then another, etc.etc. Alcohol, as far as I can tell, is the only substance that got its hooks in me deep. Even smoking, I just stopped without much struggle other than the initial days of cravings. But damn, alcohol... It actually gives me little shivers thinking about how controlling that substance is.
But I'll keep tabs on the sweet consumption levels. Thanks for the heads up!
I've already made up my mind that I'd happily be a little pudgy with some cavities than an alcoholic.

Soberwolf

Congrats April

thisisme

"My question is: did you lose friends when drinking? Did you lose friends when you got sober?"

Yes, all of them but in the end I realised they were never my friends.

Ken33xx

I pushed anyone who didn`t drink like I did. Today, I am friends again with some and others no.

However, what was more noticeable is without the booze I had little in common with many I used to hang out with.

I tried socializing with friends who still drank but without the booze and/or pot we really had little to talk about.

The friends I have today are pretty much those I met before I started seriously drinking.

pulltight

Drinking buddies went to the wayside, still civil and all just don't hang out.
My lifestyle change has brought new friends into my life and I have more fun around them than old drinking pals.
I still hang out with old friends that don't drink, it's not really a conscious choice, it's just our paths cross way more often than the old friends that drink, I tend to hang out with people that I have things in common with.