ouch

alcohol is ruining my life. i think i'm going to lose my job because i showed up at work tonight, didn't work, did nothing but cry and act crazy, everybody already thinks i'm nuts but now there's not a doubt in my mind that people have written me off as completely insane. i told my mom i was going to kill myself and worried her sick, i acted like an insane fourteen year old all night even though i'm 22, i am so embarrassed and ashamed now that i'm coming off of my buzz, and my head hurts like it's going to split right open like the grand canyon's in my forehead. and i don't think i can quit, i've tried so many times before and i really don't think i can stop. i'm just like this drama queen freak show, and it's horrible, so horrible that half the time i don't even admit it to myself, i try to play like i'm so much more mature than i really am, especially when i first meet people. now my reputation's ruined at work and i have to go there tomorrow night. i hope i don't get fired ... maybe it wasn't as bad as i thought it was ... but i can remember people's expressions, and they seemed pretty weirded out by me. how did you all know when you hit bottom??? help

_erin

I knew I hit bottom when I ended up on probation. If I hadn't been white and middle class with a father who had some friends in high places, I would have been in jail. I had to stop drinking as a condition of my probation as well as take a substance abuse course. It turned out to exactly what I needed. Every time I drink it's a binge. I was drinking often. I was drinking by myself. I drank over everything. I didn't get as low as some people with alcohol problems get, but my brhavior has been nothing to brag about. I'm also 22, female. If you'd like to talk more, my AIM is erinxisxawesome & e-mail is danceofthe7veils AT walla DOT com.

splendra

I believe it was Gooch who said that bottom was where he decided to stop digging!!!
I am sure there is a way to do a search on "hitting bottom" around here that is a pretty big topic of discussion...s

Ninerfan

Ouch, try this link:

what is rock bottom?
Address:http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...hitting+bottom

Hitting bottom is important, I did a lot of drinking and my life was circling the drain. I guess I wanted to live more than I wanted to continue to drink. That sounds like an easy choice until you have to make it.

KelKel

Ouch...
Glad you are here with us, my name is Kel and I am an alcoholic.
Let's see...one of my bottoms...waking up in a hospital aftre being found passed out in the bushes by a fast food joint and taken by paramedics to the emergency room. woke up with an IV and a catheter. I ripped them both out and high tailed it out of there and went right to a grocery store and stole a bottle of booze and went home and started it all over again, total, total insanity.
Guess what...you don't need to go as far down the road of addiction as I did.
This is a perfect time for you to get some help and deal with your drinking problem.
Have you thought about going to an AA meeting or some other type of support group.
This is a great place and there is alot of support and understanding around here. Stick around and get to know us, we are here for you.

degadar

Hi Ouch, glad you found us. If you think about it, it could have been much worse. Hitting rock bottom is , for me, really the point where the next 'innterestng' event on the agenda is just too much to contemplate.
And if you really want to stop, you will do. Until you do, you can always continue providing 'entertainment' for those about you.
Quit and you'll get nothing but respect. most drinkers would rather quit.
Time to get help methinks.
Deg.

Chy

Hi and welcome!
We all have different bottoms. Sounds like your close to yours. You know when you can't go on like you have, your drinking is all to consuming, you don't like what you've become, your completly miserable and still think the drink will fix it.

There are many options of support and you'll have to decide what is best for you, but you don't have to do it alone and we'll be here for you!

Cap3

Hi ouch,my bottom,looked awful.Felt horrible.And was all of this and more.The looks on the faces,of my family and friends,the next day.I felt alone.Confused.Rejected.Remorseful.Hating self..How many times i tried to stop drinking.Made plans to not drink at the party,or where ever...But i did..But this time,,no more.i had,had enough.I couldnt do this alone.I called both AA and al-anon.I surrendered....My bottom which was God-awful,turned out to be a good thing.,in the end.Because this was what brought me to recovery programs.This is what drove me to get to going full speed,living in recovery.In having had enough,i learned to listen,to the good folks who have been where i,was,and today live sober,happy,,useful lives.I wanted this.And to those who i had harmed,i have made my amends to one and all.I cant change the things that i said to them.Nor the actions that i have done in my past.But i dont ever have to go back,to all of...that,,stuff,anymore..Living in recovery,,...That past of mine today has been helpful to others.Oh,yea.The response is usually,,well heck,,if a f---k,up like,me, can live in recovery and change,,then i know there is hope for others...Some folks think im great.Some folks think im awful.Its not about them or what they think of me.Im the one who looks in the mirror at self.All that past..happened.I had choices.Either to continue on as i was,or to make changes.I chose to make changes,in self.,by comming to recovery programs.One.Day.At.A.Time..Ouch,you are no longer all lone..
Thanks for letting me share,,
God Bless,,take care!!!!!!!!!

bakedflounder

About the original post, Are you willing to go to any length? Do you believe that you have lost the power of choice in drink? If so you then become willing. Willing to try it someone's else way, not your way.

When that happens you have surrendered. After surrender you need direction. A sponsor that has had a spiritual awakewning, can guide you through the Steps(direction) to the solution (a spiritual awakning).

In a nutshell, if you know you can't manage this deal, and you are willing to follow someone elses direction, then you CAN quit, but not until then.

Ared83

Ouch, alcoholic here too. I'm only 21 and alcohol is running my life. Day after day it has, and I've been doing it for over 3 years now. I am dependent on it, I cry a lot as well, its nothing to be ashamed of. Your trapped like me...........I feel like I have no control when I'm sober, but when I drink it all just goes away (even though I still don't feel like me). So, your not alone...........I feel your pain because it has been the most painful experience in my life.........