Zozoagogo

First of all, I want to say I'm very new here, so I'm sorry if this post isn't okay for any reason. Secondly, I think most of you are in recovery, and to those people I don't know how to express the amount of respect I have. Pretty much all of it.

Anyway, the thing I want advice on is whether you believe I need to quit alcohol to be okay, and I don't want any of this 'only you can know that!' bs. I have no idea. I know you don't know, I just want to know what you think.

So I'm 20 years old, and everyone seems to think I should enjoy going out and drinking on the weekends, but I don't, I hate how I am when I'm drunk. So the way I always saw it, I enjoy drinking, but I don't want to make anyone else put up with me, so I drink alone. That was okay back when it was a once in a while thing, but now I'm drinking at least 35cl to 70cl vodka two or three times a week, and that cannot be good for my health. I wouldn't even be thinking it might be a problem if I weren't putting on weight. See, I see myself getting fat and I tried to stop drinking and I couldn't. I've been failing at that for like a month now, and I'm starting to realise, I don't have a problem yet, but one day this will be a problem.

I don't have a job or a family or any friends who care. So, seeing as how I don't need to rein in my booze consumption for anyone else, do you think I need to control it for my own sake? Not for my physical health, nothing you can say would convince me that matters, I just mean, for my mental wellbeing, should I quit drinking?

I'm definitely an alcoholic. But does it really matter?

ScottFromWI

With out even reading the rest of what you have to post,' I think you already know the answer. Your last sentence "I hate how I am when I am drunk" says a lot. It doesn't really matter how much you drink, how often you do it, how old you are or where you do it. If drinking is causing problems, not drinking is a very good solution to consider.

Zozoagogo

Thank you for your post, because it's certainly good advice, but could you read the rest of my post? It's fine if you think the same after reading, I'm just wondering because you seem wise, and I think there's a little more to my situation.

esinger

If it's causing you grief and your at all worried I'd say yes. In my experience it never gets better. Wish I had quit at 20.

sleepie

How's this for a concrete answer? Just quit.

If you are questioning it, that's my no BS advice. I think you should quit if you are dabbling on a recovery site chances are you have a fair idea of why, and where you are headed.

Bailey3

Perhaps if you quit and embrace sobriety you can find a job, a family and, friends who care. What do you have to lose by trying?

Dee74

Welcome zozo

I think it matters.

Don't think it won't get worse cos it will.

Don't waste 20 years of your life losing the things you love and hating yourself for becoming ever more dependent on alcohol like I did.

There are things I'll never do now - marry & raise a family, travel the world - you have the chance to do all that, and more, by acting now

D

Zozoagogo

This seems to be the main point people are making, and it's very easy to argue with (whether or not it's wise). Basically, by quitting I lose a coping method (I am mentally ill, don't really want to go more in depth but booze helps) and it's just plain something I enjoy. Maybe my question is really: do I stand to gain anything from quitting? I don't think so. But I know my judgement isn't unbiased...

thomas11

Hi Zo, well the fact you are 20 years old, found this site, joined, and then posted about how you hate how you are when you are drunk should be enough to answer your initial question. You say you enjoy drinking but hate how you are when you are drunk. Those are contradictory statements. And as Dee said, it WILL get worse. A lot worse. Spend some time (like hours) reading this site. You will get a first hand account of what is in store if you don't address it. I wish you the very best.

Nevertheless

Yes it matters. Quit. You are admitting you are an alcoholic,so the answer is easy. Of course doing it is not so easy.
The longer you drink,the harder it's going to get. Drinking Vodka alone is not a good sign.
One thing for sure,I never met anyone that woke up in the morning and said "damn,I wish I would have got drunk last night".
I sure wish I would have quit when i was 20.

Fred

Dee74

drinking is making you hate yourself. You have that to lose.

You're already apathetic to the point where doing something for you isn't really reason enough for you to act

That's not normal or good.

drinking is impacting your health. You have that to lose, and despite you saying that not is an issue you can be persuaded on, you're not made of titanium, man.

I'm pretty much broken down at 47. I've had drink related injuries and several mini strokes.

Don't take your health for granted.

Not trying to scare you - that never works - but I am being honest.

Drinking's not a coping method - its an avoidance tool.

You run away from problems with drink.

You can learn new better coping skills that actually solve problems, Zoso.

It's not a medicine either - I self medicated too - and no matter what's wrong with you, there are better approaches with less side effects

You can argue with me if you like, but it's not going to do either of us much good, yeah?

D

ScottFromWI

I've never heard of a mental illness that drinkng "helps". You don't need to go into detail here, but I woild suggest sharing your drinking history and thoughts with a mental health professional. I and many others here have diagnosed mental health issues and quitting drinking is almost unanimously a prerequisite to treating them.

silentrun

Is 35cl of vodka 13 drinks? That is not sustainable if you want to keep your sanity. If you don't quit now over the years is probably what will end up happening is you go from 1 or 2 times a week to 3 or 4 over a couple years time and then 5,6, or 7 nights a week in a couple of more years.
It will change you if you keep this up. By the end of my drinking career I was thrown into a depression that took me months to come out of once I quit.

dsmaxis10

silentrun is spot on alcoholism is progressive it will only get worse never better.

Gottalife

You should quit for health reasons if nothing else. Why not stop for say six months and see how it goes?

LBrain

I've been failing at that for like a month now, and I'm starting to realise, I don't have a problem yet, but one day this will be a problem.....

I'm definitely an alcoholic...I don't have a problem yet...

How would Robin respond to this? Holy denial Batman!
If you try to quit but are unable to, then it's time to quit for real.

Zozoagogo

How did you learn new coping skills? Is that something that always comes naturally with quitting, or did you learn anything through any other means?

I do very much want to grow as a person.. I guess I just have no idea how, other than by meeting new people, but how do you even do that without pubs!?

Dee74

I found I was a lot more capable when I gave myself the chance to be yeah.

I also found exercise was great for dealing with stress and anxiety, for example, much better than drinking.

I meet new people all the time too - some through hobbies and interests, some through other friends, some through moving to a new city.

People just know me as a non drinker - it's no big deal

D

MelindaFlowers

I'm a believer that once you reach 700 ml in one session there's no going back. Why? Because that's what your body wants, obviously, to be satisfied. It wouldn't be satisfied with less.

Why continue the torture? Binge drinking is defined as five or more drinks in one session. Surprising, right? I binged every night for years. Don't push it as far as I did. I wasted five tears either drunk or hungover. Never in between. What a waste that was.

JeffreyAK

I'm reading some contradictory thoughts here, which is fine but maybe more reason to think you already have a problem and might try harder to stop? Give it 30 or 60 or 90 days totally without alcohol and see what happens? Drinking alone is usually a good indicator, increasing tolerance is a good indicator (most people cannot drink a fifth of booze in a day), failing at trying to stop is a great indicator, denial and rationalization (it's medicine...) is a great indicator.

You asked.