LindaIam

Had my "last" drink 2 weeks ago. I am continually stopping and starting back. Used to be 4, 5, 6 months stopping with about the same time drinking again. Past 2 years it's been 2 months at most, but since winter it's been more like 6 weeks, then 4, and recently only 2 stopping with more time drinking in between.
I don't go through immediate withdrawals in the beginning, but after about a week, I start feeling like crap! Hot flashes, super tired, crying spells, depressed, feelings like I've had too much caffeine at times, restless legs at night, can't get to sleep at night sleeping late in the mornings and dragging all day long. The depression and the brain fog - feeling like I'm in a daze all the time - is the worse! Being tired alot and the depression is something that I have dealt with all my life, and that's why I drink in the first place. I'm not eating well at all - lots of sugar - to take the place of the drinking and numb the pain. I know that just makes the recovery longer and the symptoms worse Not to mention I'm gaining weight and that makes the low self esteem worse.
I'm all alone basically and don't have anyone to talk to and it's really just getting worse and worse. I guess I mostly want to know how long will this last? If it's PAWS, I may feel this way for a loooooooooooooooooooooong time! On top of this, I have a daughter who is graduating high school next year and I'm already experiencing "empty nest syndrome".
I have absolutely no motivation! I work at home and can't/don't make myself do barely anything. I feel like I'm in a trance - eating, watching tv, and being online all day and before I know it it's 10:00 and my daughter is coming home from work and I didn't accomplish a darn thing! I feel like a lost cause and the saddest thing is, I'm not even sure it's the alcohol withdrawal or just my long term depression.

zjw

I can relate to almost all of what your saying. I work from home as well. I kinda had to narrow it down and allow things to fall by the wayside and be ok with that while i remained sober and got myself healthier 1 painstaking piece at a time. At first like you it was tough to watch all the other stuff going on around me feeling like i was useless. then i just accepted it and just worked on me and my sobriety.

It took a while for me I wont lie. I still work from home years later and its one aspect I still struggle with. I have 0 motivation to do my job. I start doing it and there is always a reason to stop i give up anymore. Instead I do what makes me feel good and at peace. If i loose it i loose it I'll cross that bridge when i get to it and find something else till then I'd like to retain a smile each single day.

It sounds like your overwhelmed and depressed. try and take things piece by piece and dont bite off any more then you can chew less then that even go easy on yourself you just got sober it aint suppost to be a walk in the park. It'll get easier though. Eventually the fog lifts and you have more clarity to tackle more things. Just give it time till then rest relax eat healthy drink fluids and maybe go for a walk or something or some sort of exercise every little bit helps

good job on the 2 weeks.!

Lenina

Linda, hi! I really needed a plan and structure. I first got sober in AA. My sponsor had me write gratitude lists, ten items daily. ARG! It was hard but I got into the habit of looking for the good things in my life instead of the bad.

also, in the evening, think about the good things you did during the day and about the things you might have done better.

I hope this helps.

Love from Lenina

Soberwolf

Congrats on 2 weeks Lindlam heres some links to read through & print if you want

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html

PAWS | Digital Dharma

trachemys

Head to your doctor. Tell him what you told us. There are medications to help you. I take one.

LindaIam

What medication do you take? An anti depressant? I don't have any insurance and anti depressants don't help me with depression in general.

trachemys

I take bupropion and (believe it or not) vitamin D.

Pete55

bupropion
aka Zyban


A bit trippy when it was tried to quit smoking.
Not for everyone.

Zyban (bupropion hydrochloride) Sustained-Release tablets

Bostonsportsfan

Congrats on 2 weeks!

Try to remember that this is a process. It's not easy to get and stay sober, but 2 weeks is a good start. As you put more sober time behind you...it will continue to get easier.

Good luck

LindaIam

I sooooooooooooooooo want to drink right now!! It didn't use to be this hard not to drink! When you feel like it's not any better - the depression and the loneliness, life in general - whether you drink or not, what does it really matter? It's kind of a rhetorical question, but in my mind it's not.

I don't have insurance so can't really afford to go to the doctor. I take Vitamin D and other vitamins, but not consistently like I should.

zjw

"I sooooooooooooooooo want to drink right now!! It didn't use to be this hard not to drink! When you feel like it's not any better - the depression and the loneliness, life in general - whether you drink or not, what does it really matter? It's kind of a rhetorical question, but in my mind it's not."

Damned if you do damned if you don't is how I felt and well defeated! I felt I would not win either way but I felt that by at least not drinking it would be one less thing going against me in time it got better.


I'll take the supplement 5htp from time to time for depression but I'd read up on it or check with your doc before taking it

Imabuleva

If you drink, you're just going to hate yourself tomorrow.

theMiz

Two weeks Linda! You are NOT alone. Not one bit. You are getting these feelings because alcohol has changed the way your mentality works. It's rough stuff. However, here are a few things that really, really helped me.
For that dark groggy feeling. Make sure to fall asleep with the tv or music ON. However make sure the TV has a timer so it's dark after you fall asleep. This helped my dark feeling disappear when alone or at night.
I took standard vitamin D. A lot! My dr told me this would help. It did!! I was amazed at how well I started feeling.
Last but not least. Do a sport a day! Run, walk, jumping jacks, you name it.
I hope this helps! Seems too simple but it may assist in some areas. Godbless!

Gottalife

I was the same. I found the solution in the AA way of life. It was not in a bottle.

If alcohol is the problem, stopping drinking will fix it. If alcoholism is the problem stopping drinking will bring it out. I found I had to do a lot more than just stop if I wanted anything like contented sobriety. Any alcoholics can have that as long as they are willing to work for it.