soberlicious

I haven't read all the other responses, so I'm probably repeated what others have said, but anyone who has told you that "you're not sober" can go pound sand. Unless that person is YOUR doctor (not even A doctor, but YOUR doctor) then they have absolutely no place opening their mouth to you about something they know nothing about. Your mental health care plan is between you, your doctor, and your loved ones if you feel like including them. Not some randoms at a meeting.

DragonInTheSky

I use to feel very much that technically you could not be sober if you were on what could be considered mind altering drugs. However, my opinion on this has changed. I realize that as addicts there is a tendency to be boxed in by society, and by our own doing with the belief that we are all the same, when in fact that is about as far from the truth as you can get. I myself am not just an alcoholic, I am a full blown addict. If I like the way a drug makes me feel I will abuse it, no ifs and or buts about it. This fact about my own personal experience clouded my interpretations of other addicts I interacted with. I thought if someone was taking a benzo, they were technically not sober even if they said they weren't abusing it. It was hard for me to understand how someone that was an alcoholic would not also in turn abuse other drugs. Now, I know better. If you truly need this medication for a diagnosed anxiety disorder and do not abuse it, don't let people in AA or anywhere else make you feel bad about taking it.

See, in my own self obsessed addict mind it is easy to place my personal feelings and experiences onto others, when in fact....(drum roll please...ba dump bump ching!) we are actually all unique individuals that handle things differently...(who woulda thunk?).

I have experienced severe anxiety before while going through withdrawal, and it is something I would not wish on my worst enemy, so I truly feel for you and your situation.

In the end you've got to do what's best for you, not what the people around you think you should do. If alcohol is your demon, then that is what needs to be slayed. Inside, deep down, only you know what is best for you. Remember that...and I'll try and remember it too.

NightBird

I know this thread is older, but I just wanted to say that, I too, currently suffer from severe anxiety, akathesia, insomnia, etc. because I was taken off a low dose benzo I had been prescribed for over 12 years.

No one can understand the crippling fear and bizzarre mental and physical symptoms unless they have been through it themselves.

It has been 9 months now and I have not really inproved. I sometimes think there is no way I can continue living like this.

Do not feel bad about continuing to take the benzo. You deserve to have a normal life. You should not have to suffer any longer. I know there is no going back for me. I am now sensitized to all medications.

Peace and Serenity to all.

greens

AA is supposed to have no stance on medication tresgatos , however, like you said , I have heard zealots in the rooms state opinions very opposite to that statement.
It seems like you've read the pamphlet, there are several places in the big book where they say outside issues need to be seen to by a dr.
to me, it doesn't seem like you are abusing them , just thst you are afraid other people won't find youn"sober enough ". you are not alone. Bill W was all about seeking outside help , and I know a TON of people in the rooms who take similar med's but do not speak about it at meeting level for all the reasons you stated in your op. I think it's great that you've found a Dr that is helping you. To me, that coincides with the big book "seek a Dr for outside help." (I don't know the exact quotes) . AA ac tually made the pamphlet about medication after multiple stories of sponsees being told to quit their medication and subsequently commiting suicide. I appreciate your candidNess and honesty in your op, these things need to be talked about in my opinion.

Gottalife

I suppose I'm hardcore AA. I've worked with a few people trying to get off benzos and I know how extremely difficult it is. And dangerous. Like alcohol, withdrawal from benzos can be fatal. Suddenly stopping is extremely dangerous, and the withdrawal period is much much longer than for alcohol. I will sit with an alcoholic during withdrawal, which might be 2 or 3 days, and I will work with an alcoholic wiithdrawing from benzos, even though the period is indefinite.

In my book, the applicable principles are desire and honesty. The only requirement for membership is a desire to... It doesn't say in the Big Book that we must stop drinking. It assumes we want to. Plenty of times people have started work on the steps, then relapsed a few times before finally getting that change of personality that brings about recovery from alcoholism. They may be relapsing, but they are still in recovery . That's alcoholism.

There is no doubt the OP is sober. They have done and continue to do what ever was needed to get sober. I would say they are also in recovery from benzos. The whole treatment and medical aspect of benzo withdrawal is completely different to alcohol and beyond the ordinary purpose of AA, but the key is the OP has a desire to quit and is doing everything humanly possible towards that end. They really couldn't be doing anymore and I really admire their courage and fortitude.

Mind altering chemicals can prove an obstacle to recovery if they are taken for the wrong reasons, and that includes fooling the doctor which is incredibly easy to do. I have known a few people on medication for serious mental illness, and it has been no barrier to their recovery. They all seemed to have a common view though, that they would not take medication of they could find another way. They really didn't like having to take whatever it was. There is a little saying about the difference between an alcoholic and a drunk that might also apply to some alcoholics taking mind altering medication.

One would stop if he could, the other could stop if he would. The OP is obviously the former.