OnlyGetBetter

Went out to see if I could manage just one drink. 57 hours later just walked through the door with one hell of a bad head and no recollection of what I have said or done.

As stupid as it sounds I was laid on my bed watching The Godfather trying not to go out drinking and in the movie they often just sip wine so I thought hell I can do that. The rest is history!

MIRecovery

6 years not drinking and a glass of wine turned into a 4 year death spiral that almost killed me.

Every time I get in the ring with king alcohol I get the snot beat out of me so I just choose not to fight anymore

trachemys

Btdt

Dee74

If characters in the Godfather set you off, I think you need to look at exactly what you're doing to stay sober.

what are you doing for your recovery OGB?
What things do you think you can add to it to make it more useful and robust?

D

ScottFromWI

Well, you definitley have the answer to your question now. Knowing that, perhaps you can decide on a better plan moving forward? You aren't the first to try this, and you won't be the last...but it can be the last time you drink if you so choose. Get some rest and water and treat yourself well today.

doggonecarl

So you have gone from initially posting here about the worst hangover in you life, no recollection of what you had done...to this post. A repeat of the cycle.

I know you are young and probably can't imagine never drinking again. But if you read through your few posts, THAT is what you are looking at if you continue drinking. Except it get worse.

I think you need to re-evaluate the role alcohol has in your life and decide how you are going to address it.

Bh28

It's not that easy mate. Look at my join date and I'm still posting. I'm young too but the health system which are supposed to help are plain wrong.

We have stuff going on in us lives which makes us drink.

Para

Reading what you wrote made me sad. It just hit home for me again. I can't and will never be able to manage that one drink again. So I simply cannot take that one drink.
I hate alcohol. I hate what it HAS done to me. I hate what it does to me. It's just bad for me overall. And the blackouts are like my brain's way of saying, I don't want to take this poison...stop it!
I'm just sad about it though. Melancholy.
One the opposite note. It also hit home that I don't want to come out of a blackout and be full of guilt, regret, and remorse.
I hate this disease so much!

PurpleKnight

For me the acceptance that just one was now off the table, that was my foundation, realising that alcohol and myself were now incompatible.

Go at things again, but change up your plan moving forward!!

Soberwolf

Here is help with a plan

RobbyRobot

You don't want that to be true. If it is, then the next drink is just an event waiting to happen. No. Stuff going on in our lives doesn't get us to drinking. Stuff inside us, sure. Outside? Only if we agree to that lousy setup.

Sobriety is an inside job. If it wasn't, I wouldn't be able to stay sober. My outside life has gone up, down, and all around in the last 30 years. Didn't make me drink.

Think inside job.

MIRecovery

Nothing makes us drink. It Is always is our choice. Life has thrown some major challenges at me but I still choose sobriety. Is it hard? Yes it is but nobody ever promised it would be.

RobbyRobot

tomsteve

I've worked my backspace button over a bit replying, but thought I would as for some reason this reply resonated within me.
I'm reading excuses and copouts.
There absolutley nothing that ever happened in my life that made me drink. But I used a lot excuses and blamed a lot for it. And people, places, and things never once accepted responsability for it either. So I drank more.
It wouldn't have matter if the health system was right as I think it should be. It would not have helped me get sober.
I drank for many,many years( for me) using what I thought was every excuse in the book.then after I got sober I heard quite a few excuses I never thought of using, but I know that all they would have been is excuses. Blamed a crapload of things for drinking,too.
Not one single person,place, or thing ever took responsability for it either, if you can believe that!
Then I crossed the line into full blown alcoholism. No more excuses. No more reasons needed to drink. I just wanted to drink.
Then I crossed another line- the line where I lost the power of choice whether I drank or not. No matter what- no matter how bad I didn't want to drink, I couldn't not drink.
Then the gift of desperation was given to me. I went to AA. Going to meetings, doing what the program said to do and not drinking, it didn't take long for me to see how I did a crapload of blaming for the state of my life. Was in a pretty dam big one person pity party for a long time, which I was that one person.
And I FINALLY accepted accountability for my past life- everything that I did and everything that happened to me was all self induced.
And I FINALLY accepted responsability for my future life, which meant I was going to pt in the footowork myself and stop havingn expectations tha someone or something was going to make my life better and stop me from drinking.
Amazing thing happened:
I began living life on life's terms. I have had absolutely nothing in life make me want to drink. I accepted life on life's terms never once forced a drink down my throat and a drink will only do that if I make it happen.

Bh, here's something I think you should do: look up MIrecovery. He posted a rely here. Check out some of his threads. See what he's been going though the last year.
And he's still sober!! I don't know him personally, but I'm certain he's done some pretty hard trudging and has been doing it sober.

You can get and stay sober, Bh. But yer gonna have to stop blaming and take responsability for your recovery.

On a side note:
MIRecovery- you've been an inspiration to me and many others here.

Dee74

I had stuff in my life that made me drink too, That stuff still goes on - but I don't drink anymore.

Don't make yourself the passive partner in this where things happen to you - you have to make things happen bh.

D

Gottalife

That's what I call a slip I did exactly the same thing the last time I drank. My plan was to have two beers and be home by six. I got home at six, just four days later!

That proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that I had the phenomenon of craving, something that does not occur in moderate drinkers. I then knew for certain that I was alcoholic and the only possible solution was compete abstinence, I needed help with that.

I reckon that last bender turned a corner for me. It was the last piece in a puzzle that explained the true nature of my condition...on my own... hopeless. I got serious about AA, and haven't drank since. I hope you can get the same benefit from your slip.

Soberwolf

Here is help writing up a sober plan http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html