Alcohol is a BIG problem for me
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Stuck in my Head!!
Posts: 35
Alcohol is a BIG problem for me
The realization that I am powerless against alcohol is a very difficult one for me to accept. I have always thought that will power was enough. Being someone who can be very strong-willed at times I struggle to relinquish control of anything to anyone.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: UK
Posts: 375
Hi Nucldragr - The 'powerless' thing is something I had, and still have a problem with. Personally It suits me better to assert my dominance over alcohol. I'm strong, so I win.
It comes about because the system is trying to say - "Look boyo, you've tried controling your drinking loads of times and you can't do it can you? Why don't you admit that you'll never be able to stop drinking once you start, and just give up all together."
This makes sense, but what I have a problem with is relinquishing responsibility of control. If I say - "Hey - nucldragr, you're powerless, over alcohol, you're not going to be able to give up unless you take power,strength whatever from some other place."
Not drinking at all is the ultimate in power over alcohol - admitting that you can live without it forever, and are prepared to forego the pleasure it brings forever, is no small order - and that takes power and strength. Believe in yourself. You're NOT relinqiushing control by going teetotal!
Got willpower? Use it, or loose it.
Deg.
It comes about because the system is trying to say - "Look boyo, you've tried controling your drinking loads of times and you can't do it can you? Why don't you admit that you'll never be able to stop drinking once you start, and just give up all together."
This makes sense, but what I have a problem with is relinquishing responsibility of control. If I say - "Hey - nucldragr, you're powerless, over alcohol, you're not going to be able to give up unless you take power,strength whatever from some other place."
Not drinking at all is the ultimate in power over alcohol - admitting that you can live without it forever, and are prepared to forego the pleasure it brings forever, is no small order - and that takes power and strength. Believe in yourself. You're NOT relinqiushing control by going teetotal!
Got willpower? Use it, or loose it.
Deg.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Years and years I contimplated why I had no will power over alcohol, I too was a strong willed person alway's able to achieve those goals I set out, except with this one fricken issue! In realizing I was an alcoholic, and seeing we were powerless over it, didn't sit well, but I had to start accepting certain things if I was to change.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: UK
Posts: 375
Chy, I do agree. The answer to quitting for good is not the intuitive one. We can't use the methods and thoughts we used while we were drinking because our abuse has programmed this route to fail! Going through the pain of traying to abstain increases the 'reward' of the relapse and we're back where we started.
We are fooled into thinking that we're in charge of our bodies and minds. We are, but the grip is very weak. We do have the willpower, we just don't know how to use it.
Deg.
We are fooled into thinking that we're in charge of our bodies and minds. We are, but the grip is very weak. We do have the willpower, we just don't know how to use it.
Deg.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Fenwick Ontario,Canada
Posts: 9
Hi Nuc.! I've been there so many times. I finally ended forty years of abusing alcohol at
**** Check it out. It works. No withdrawl, meetings, or other sub-
stituite crutches. Just stop drinking and get on with your life.
Catfish.
**** Check it out. It works. No withdrawl, meetings, or other sub-
stituite crutches. Just stop drinking and get on with your life.
Catfish.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: California
Posts: 233
Nothing wrong with using a crutch Catfish. At least that way you can walk and get around. Eventually you dont need crutches any longer and you can get around just fine on your new legs.
nucldrger-I know how you feel about the powerlessness concept but it is really not that big a deal. Compared to doing nothing about my drinking and the way my life was headed, admitting my own powerlessness was not that big a deal. I had to think back on all the times I would drink and 99% of the time I did not stop until the bars closed or I ran out of money or got arrested etc. So what is more powerful, me or alcohol? Even when I would say to myself tonight will be different, I wont drinkas much as the last time, I still would get *********. So what is more powerful, me or alcohol. That is how I came to terms with the powerlessness concept. Most ppl can handle booze responsibly, I can't. Don't know why, just know I can't. So now what do I do? My answer was AA. It worked for me and continues to work for me. I suggest you try it and try to keep an open mind about those things that just **** you off. Just remember that if you are an alcoholic it will not get better left unchecked, you have to do something. Best of luck
nucldrger-I know how you feel about the powerlessness concept but it is really not that big a deal. Compared to doing nothing about my drinking and the way my life was headed, admitting my own powerlessness was not that big a deal. I had to think back on all the times I would drink and 99% of the time I did not stop until the bars closed or I ran out of money or got arrested etc. So what is more powerful, me or alcohol? Even when I would say to myself tonight will be different, I wont drinkas much as the last time, I still would get *********. So what is more powerful, me or alcohol. That is how I came to terms with the powerlessness concept. Most ppl can handle booze responsibly, I can't. Don't know why, just know I can't. So now what do I do? My answer was AA. It worked for me and continues to work for me. I suggest you try it and try to keep an open mind about those things that just **** you off. Just remember that if you are an alcoholic it will not get better left unchecked, you have to do something. Best of luck
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Leaving Sparta
Posts: 2,912
Originally Posted by nucldragr
The realization that I am powerless against alcohol is a very difficult one for me to accept. I have always thought that will power was enough. Being someone who can be very strong-willed at times I struggle to relinquish control of anything to anyone.
The "powerless" issue is something I struggled with too.It is hard to accept powerlessness over seemingly inanimate objects and worse about our own behaviour.
However as I stayed sober and grew in recovery I began to understand more about my own powerlessness over alcohol.
I may not be powerless over what to do with a bottle of vodka.I have a choice.I can drink it or I can pour it down the sink.
However I am completely powerless over what happens to me when I ingest that bottle of vodka.In other words no matter how strong my will power may be I cannot stop myself from getting drunk.
Although there may be people who claim to stick their hand in fire and not get burned........I am not one of them.I am powerless over the fact that if I choose to stick my hand over a flame I am going to get hurt.
Admitting I am powerless over alcohol is simple for me to do now because I know I have it in the right context.There is nothing shameful in admitting we can't handle alcohol.In fact it has turned out to be one of the biggest paradox of my recovery from alcoholism.Admission of my powerlessness has empowered me with the wisdom to make the right choice the next time I see a bottle of vodka.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 24
I haven't gone to any AA meetings yet because the first step is to admit my powerlessness (well, that's part of the reason I haven't gone). I don't like the thought of giving up self-efficacy. I know that I cannot just have one or two drinks, that I drink compulsively, but to say I am totally powerless is hard to do.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: California
Posts: 233
If you cant have just one or two, arent' you admitting that alcohol has more power than you? If you could control your drinking then that is what you would be doing and you wouldn't be here, right?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: UK
Posts: 375
I should know better than this, but hey...
Niner, is it really the case that we're powerless? or do we just have difficulty exercising the power we have to control drinking once we've started?
Even at the depths of my drinking I managed to control myself to one small drink a night during the time my wife was close to labour and I knew a drive to hospital was possible at any time.
I bet every visitor here in whatever stage of alcoholism can provide such examples as this one, Job interview tomorrow? Driving a long way? Tea with the vicar?
If that's not an example of a power over alcohol, I'm Pol Pot. And if this power exists, it needs nurturing and strengthening, not denying altogether. It's the same power that guards me from temptation, and will protect me the day I accidentally or intentionally end up with a glass of champagne at a wedding.
Where's the fire exit?
I know you love me really Niner. LOL!
Deg.
Niner, is it really the case that we're powerless? or do we just have difficulty exercising the power we have to control drinking once we've started?
Even at the depths of my drinking I managed to control myself to one small drink a night during the time my wife was close to labour and I knew a drive to hospital was possible at any time.
I bet every visitor here in whatever stage of alcoholism can provide such examples as this one, Job interview tomorrow? Driving a long way? Tea with the vicar?
If that's not an example of a power over alcohol, I'm Pol Pot. And if this power exists, it needs nurturing and strengthening, not denying altogether. It's the same power that guards me from temptation, and will protect me the day I accidentally or intentionally end up with a glass of champagne at a wedding.
Where's the fire exit?
I know you love me really Niner. LOL!
Deg.
Choosing Life
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: London
Posts: 889
Hmmm I think we could discuss the concept of "powerless" until the cows come home.
Personally I think it is up to the idividual to decide what "powerless" means for them. For me, everytime I tried to exert my power over alcohol once it was inside me I failed. I know after reapeated attempts to exert power I have no control over this drug once it has started to affect my mood and choices. Once it had started to affect my mood and choices chaos ensued. Therefore I chose abstinence, but it wasn't that simple. I kept on picking up after a period of sobriety.
So what next.? Why was I picking up after my strong willed decision to stop.? Well I couldn't work this out on my own. I had to get help. With that help I now know THAT IF I (me) stay the same person I will drink again. That person has been drinking 25 years and has been trying to stop for a very long time. So now I am working a program to the best of my ability to change ME.
This is my experience - hope it helps.
much love
JC
Personally I think it is up to the idividual to decide what "powerless" means for them. For me, everytime I tried to exert my power over alcohol once it was inside me I failed. I know after reapeated attempts to exert power I have no control over this drug once it has started to affect my mood and choices. Once it had started to affect my mood and choices chaos ensued. Therefore I chose abstinence, but it wasn't that simple. I kept on picking up after a period of sobriety.
So what next.? Why was I picking up after my strong willed decision to stop.? Well I couldn't work this out on my own. I had to get help. With that help I now know THAT IF I (me) stay the same person I will drink again. That person has been drinking 25 years and has been trying to stop for a very long time. So now I am working a program to the best of my ability to change ME.
This is my experience - hope it helps.
much love
JC
Member
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: California
Posts: 233
Hi Deg, I don't have a problem with what you said. You found a sufficient reason to moderate or stop your drinking for a time. There were a couple of occasions when I did that too. But, and you knew there would be a but, most of the time I could not stop once started.
But if you want to encourage the power within you and that works to help you stay stopped, more 'power' to you. LOL That is what I have done. By admitting powerlessness I have actually strengthened myself by working the rest of the steps. It doesn't seem to make sense, I know. Anyway, I'm glad you have found something that works. Speaking of work, gotta go.
But if you want to encourage the power within you and that works to help you stay stopped, more 'power' to you. LOL That is what I have done. By admitting powerlessness I have actually strengthened myself by working the rest of the steps. It doesn't seem to make sense, I know. Anyway, I'm glad you have found something that works. Speaking of work, gotta go.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,432
Hi, nucldragon,
'Powerlessness' is an AA concept. If you have trouble accepting it, try some of the other recovery programs out there.
I believe you can take control of your drinking yourself, and so do many other people. If you believe that, then why are you worrying about the concept of powerlessness?
Don S
'Powerlessness' is an AA concept. If you have trouble accepting it, try some of the other recovery programs out there.
I believe you can take control of your drinking yourself, and so do many other people. If you believe that, then why are you worrying about the concept of powerlessness?
Don S
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