Ichi

I cannot even count or remember the amount of times I have woken up mortified at my behavior the night or days or weeks before. Some of it is total blackout and then you see the calls you've made or messages you have sent or for me worst of all, posted on facebook etc! Argh! After rare events where you drink socially someone reminds you or sometimes you just remember a blurry snapshot of you doing something so embarrassing it makes you cringe. But that's the thing, for a regular person I am sure one of these incidents would have been enough to snap them out of it and regulate their drinking better but of course that doesn't happen for alcoholics. The incidents just stack up and you almost become used to it. That's the challenge for me anyway trying to get to a stage where this stuff sticks in my mind along with all the other horrible self-abusing self-destructive baggage that comes with the package. Is there anything else in your life you end up craving, longing for and reminiscing about that beats you up, wrecks your health, your reputation or your prospects that you let slide and give a pass to over and over again? It's such a crap friend. Best of luck. Keep hanging in there.

NYCDoglvr

Day 1 is simply the day you don't drink. When I got sober it was a shock when someone told me "you don't HAVE to drink today." HUH? It was always a choice but I didn't know that. Thanks to AA I had my last drink October 11, 1991. We just don't drink TODAY. A simple program for complicated people.