Cobalt

I used to think I was an alcoholic. Admittedly I lived an alcoholic lifestyle for about 5 years before really changing my habits. For years I thought I had a problem with not drinking. I felt like I needed it, and would justify my alcohol consumption with rationalization and comparisons to other people's drinking habits. I'd weight the positives and negatives.

I now realize how pointless all of it was. I never had a problem not drinking. The reality is that I have problem with drinking. One drink always turns into 10. Every. Time.

I don't know why it took me over half a decade to realize this. I don't know why it took hundreds of trips to the liquor store and hundreds of hangovers. I don't know why it took spending thousands of dollars on booze and thousands of regrets. The last time I got drunk and woke up hungover with the feeling of having poured 5 months of sobriety down the drain was the one true voice I needed to hear. It was my own voice, but without any rationalization or justification. It was me confessing to myself that I didn't want to keep making the same mistake over and over again.

I'm happy to start a new path to sobriety. In a way I feel like I failed by choosing to drink, but in the end I didn't lose. My head is clear and my heart is clear. I believe again, and for somebody that has fought disillusion and personal demons for so long, that is really saying something.

I wish the best of luck to anyone out there still struggling. I think there is always hope and there is always belief. We just need to make sure it doesn't get buried underneath everything that we are. There is a way out, and it comes from within.

Happy to be alive,


Cobalt

Dee74

Wishing the best of luck to you too Cobalt

D

AliWProk

Thanks for sharing, Cobalt!

Soberwolf

Good stuff Cobalt

ScottFromWI

Welcome back and thanks for sharing, a great post.

biminiblue

Thanks, Cobalt.

Prayers for anyone suffering with addiction tonight, or anyone struggling with sobriety.

The power is in you.