Contemplating AA At Day 14
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 58
Contemplating AA At Day 14
Today marks 14 days. I am greatly enjoying a healthy body and clear mind. Occasionally I get a short craving, but it's not overwhelming. (But the donut cravings ARE overwhelming!!! Help!!! I need to call Donuts Anonymous.)
AA has really helped me stay sober. Being part of a community of people who understand what I've been through is huge. The shame and isolation of my alcoholism twisted my mind in a way that exacerbated my drinking. For this reason, I'm definitely not ready to leave AA.
However, I want someday for my life to no longer be about alcohol -- either consuming it or obsessively celebrating my sobriety. I want to be done with it, pick up my bed and walk forward in life.
"What you think about expands." I don't want to spend the rest of my life thinking about alcohol, and I'm worried AA may promote alcohol obsession.
Repeating, "I'm an alcoholic. I'm an alcoholic. I'm an alcoholic." This cannot be a good thing, can it? Someday I'd like to say, "I used to have a drinking problem but since I no longer drink, it's no longer a problem" and move on to the next topic -- something about life, interests, hopes, dreams, plans.
Another reason I don't like repeating "I'm an alcoholic" is that the statement makes alcohol my identity. I had cancer many years ago and recovered. I no longer state "I have cancer," much less "I AM cancer."
What are your thoughts on this?
AA has really helped me stay sober. Being part of a community of people who understand what I've been through is huge. The shame and isolation of my alcoholism twisted my mind in a way that exacerbated my drinking. For this reason, I'm definitely not ready to leave AA.
However, I want someday for my life to no longer be about alcohol -- either consuming it or obsessively celebrating my sobriety. I want to be done with it, pick up my bed and walk forward in life.
"What you think about expands." I don't want to spend the rest of my life thinking about alcohol, and I'm worried AA may promote alcohol obsession.
Repeating, "I'm an alcoholic. I'm an alcoholic. I'm an alcoholic." This cannot be a good thing, can it? Someday I'd like to say, "I used to have a drinking problem but since I no longer drink, it's no longer a problem" and move on to the next topic -- something about life, interests, hopes, dreams, plans.
Another reason I don't like repeating "I'm an alcoholic" is that the statement makes alcohol my identity. I had cancer many years ago and recovered. I no longer state "I have cancer," much less "I AM cancer."
What are your thoughts on this?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
At first I didn't like that particular part of AA either. I do think it's helpful for new people to be able to see a lot of people in recovery who say, "I'm an alcoholic." It helps new people come out of their shame, and it reminds us who we are.
I didn't always say it at meetings. Someone would always let me know after the meeting,
but it isn't a requirement.
The other thing is that at least in the meetings I attended (open meetings) there may be spouses, parents, family members, clergy, students, journalists, therapists, friends etc. Not everyone is an alcoholic, and it's just an identifier for the listeners.
I think the benefits of saying "I'm an alcoholic" far outweigh the risks. Saying, "I'm an alcoholic" in an AA meeting really isn't a huge leap - I mean most people there are. It's not something I talk about outside meetings. I am a lot of things I don't talk about in every setting, but I forget who I am in regards to alcohol at my peril.
I didn't always say it at meetings. Someone would always let me know after the meeting,
but it isn't a requirement. The other thing is that at least in the meetings I attended (open meetings) there may be spouses, parents, family members, clergy, students, journalists, therapists, friends etc. Not everyone is an alcoholic, and it's just an identifier for the listeners.
I think the benefits of saying "I'm an alcoholic" far outweigh the risks. Saying, "I'm an alcoholic" in an AA meeting really isn't a huge leap - I mean most people there are. It's not something I talk about outside meetings. I am a lot of things I don't talk about in every setting, but I forget who I am in regards to alcohol at my peril.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi.
Perhaps it would be good to substitute “I cannot drink one day at a time in a row in safety?”
I needed many thinking adjustments and changes to become and stay sober because alcoholism is a progressive disease and will only get worse if we resume drinking. Reading so many posts here makes that a good point.
The results of recovery can be a wonderful period of our life compared to the misery many experience drinking.
BE WELL
Perhaps it would be good to substitute “I cannot drink one day at a time in a row in safety?”
I needed many thinking adjustments and changes to become and stay sober because alcoholism is a progressive disease and will only get worse if we resume drinking. Reading so many posts here makes that a good point.
The results of recovery can be a wonderful period of our life compared to the misery many experience drinking.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
I don't want to spend the rest of my life thinking about alcohol, and I'm worried AA may promote alcohol obsession.
I was worried about going to AA that i might wanna hit the bar on the way home or something all this talk about booze for an hour I figured would make me kinda thirsty. It was just the opposite however.
I also can stand outside a wine, liquor or beer store and start having some thoughts..... I dont think that will ever change AA or not etc.. I cannot undue what I already am.
Being an alcoholic to me is like being a white guy. Its just who I am and I cannot change my stripes. All I can do is abstain. There will never come a day where alcohol is not an issue for me. But with any luck there can be many many days where I do not consume alcohol thus it wont be an issue on those days.
But yeah the idea of somehow no longer needing a drink. no longer needing an AA meeting. No longer even being remotely concerned about being an alcoholic or not IE this whole little issue just gets put to bed and forgotten to me is a lot like the fantasy that one day I might be able to drink in moderation.
what would I rather have walk outside a beer store and every so many times think hehe that would be fun maybe I oughta go in there and get a little something for later just like old times No no i'll tell myself I know where that leads or would I rather have no care in the world and run the risk of being forget ful and doing something stupid?
What about others I could help? if i've put my issue to bed and forgotten it how would i be of any use to others struggling with this?
You dont have to go to AA meetings till the day you die if thats not your fancy. But you do always have to be mindful of the sleeping beast within and be careful not to feed it or be tricked into feeding it. Its just part of life for me and no big deal.
But I thought like you too and stillt hink gosh it'd be nice if i could just forget all about this.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Someday I'd like to say, "I used to have a drinking problem but since I no longer drink, it's no longer a problem" and move on to the next topic -- something about life, interests, hopes, dreams, plans.
YOU can do this anytime you like, and of all possible times, now is the best. Is now good for you?
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Originally Posted by zjw 
But yeah the idea of somehow no longer needing a drink. No longer even being remotely concerned about being an alcoholic or not IE this whole little issue just gets put to bed and forgotten to me is a lot like the fantasy that one day I might be able to drink in moderation.
But I thought like you too and stillt hink gosh it'd be nice if i could just forget all about this.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
I believe that I will always be an alcoholic, I don't think it's something that you can be "cured" of and simply move on as if it never happened. My reasoning for that is that I have quit for extended periods of time and returned to my alcoholic ways. And I have seen others do it many times, sometimes after years or even decades of sobriety.
I am not in AA, but I still "work" on my sobriety daily, even years into my sobriety. Sometimes it's only for a few minutes reading a few posts on SR, or simply reflecting. In the past I reached the point where I was many months sober and figured I didn't need any support anymore...and that's exactly when I needed it most.
I am not in AA, but I still "work" on my sobriety daily, even years into my sobriety. Sometimes it's only for a few minutes reading a few posts on SR, or simply reflecting. In the past I reached the point where I was many months sober and figured I didn't need any support anymore...and that's exactly when I needed it most.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
Peoples thoughts on this are going to vary greatly depending on how they view addiction. People who view addiction as a disease will most definitely have a different take than those who do.
I do not use the identifiers "alcoholic" or "addict", for several reasons-not the least of which is that it is not "person first language". An example is my son who has autism. To say that he is autistic puts the disorder before the person, whereas to say "he has autism" puts the person before the disorder, as it should be. Sounds nit picky...but honestly the shift is subtle but powerful.
I am a woman who used to have an addiction to alcohol and benzos. I do not use those substances so I am not addicted to them now. If I began using them again, it is extremely likely that I would become addicted again, so using any substances is not something I'm willing to do. I don't need a "verbal reminder" to keep myself from using those substances.
I do not use the identifiers "alcoholic" or "addict", for several reasons-not the least of which is that it is not "person first language". An example is my son who has autism. To say that he is autistic puts the disorder before the person, whereas to say "he has autism" puts the person before the disorder, as it should be. Sounds nit picky...but honestly the shift is subtle but powerful.
I am a woman who used to have an addiction to alcohol and benzos. I do not use those substances so I am not addicted to them now. If I began using them again, it is extremely likely that I would become addicted again, so using any substances is not something I'm willing to do. I don't need a "verbal reminder" to keep myself from using those substances.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Im not a diabetic. But do diabetics ever
heal from it? Will they always be diabetics?
Will they always have to monitor their
sugar intakes? Using monitors to polk
their fingers everyday?
Diabetics have a disease. This desease
doesn't have to cripple them or keep
them sick if they follow a daily routine
with eating, exercising, proper meds if
necessary.
Alcoholics are very similar to diabetics
in the way that we have to maintain a
daily routine to keep us sober. Diabetics
cant have sugar like a normal person can,
just like an alcoholic cant have alcohol
like a normal person can.
Sugar keeps a diabetic sick. Alcohol keeps
and alcoholic sick.
Both sicknesses or illness can be controlled
or monitored with effective programs of
recovery to incorporate in our everyday life
to insure, healthy, happy lives down the road.
Finding a program of recovery, learning
all we can about our addiction to alcohol
or drugs, building a strong solid foundation
to incorporate in our everyday affairs so that
we can live healthy, happy, honest lives with
this illness/disease of alcoholism.
I can live each day with a program
of recovery consisting of steps and
principles as a guideline to remaining
sober each day and have for the past
24 yrs. The moment I get to laxed in
my program and think im completely
cured from this disease then I could
and would return to the insanity that
come along with drinking alcohol.
I firmly believe still today that alcohol
hasn't changed over the years and that
one drink will never quench my desire
for it and there will never be enough
in this world to satisfy my cravings for it.
I think i'll continue taking my free AA
medicine each day similar to those that
are diabetics who have to polk their
fingers each day to remind them of what
is needed to do to stay healthy.
heal from it? Will they always be diabetics?
Will they always have to monitor their
sugar intakes? Using monitors to polk
their fingers everyday?
Diabetics have a disease. This desease
doesn't have to cripple them or keep
them sick if they follow a daily routine
with eating, exercising, proper meds if
necessary.
Alcoholics are very similar to diabetics
in the way that we have to maintain a
daily routine to keep us sober. Diabetics
cant have sugar like a normal person can,
just like an alcoholic cant have alcohol
like a normal person can.
Sugar keeps a diabetic sick. Alcohol keeps
and alcoholic sick.
Both sicknesses or illness can be controlled
or monitored with effective programs of
recovery to incorporate in our everyday life
to insure, healthy, happy lives down the road.
Finding a program of recovery, learning
all we can about our addiction to alcohol
or drugs, building a strong solid foundation
to incorporate in our everyday affairs so that
we can live healthy, happy, honest lives with
this illness/disease of alcoholism.
I can live each day with a program
of recovery consisting of steps and
principles as a guideline to remaining
sober each day and have for the past
24 yrs. The moment I get to laxed in
my program and think im completely
cured from this disease then I could
and would return to the insanity that
come along with drinking alcohol.
I firmly believe still today that alcohol
hasn't changed over the years and that
one drink will never quench my desire
for it and there will never be enough
in this world to satisfy my cravings for it.
I think i'll continue taking my free AA
medicine each day similar to those that
are diabetics who have to polk their
fingers each day to remind them of what
is needed to do to stay healthy.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
I'm Tom, addicted alcoholic. I've been introducing myself that way at meetings coming up on ten years. For me it's not promoting it. It's saying the truth. It's easy to say because I have accepted I am an alcoholic and I'm living in the solution.I have yet to find anywhere AA promotes alcohol obsession. What AA has done for me and countless others,though, is remove the obsession with alcohol. It no longer exists.
Alcohol is not my identity because I chose it not to be.
I have cancer.It doesn't define who I am. I don't allow that any more than I allow the fact that I am an alcoholic define me.
I am a cancer fighter and survivor.
And an alcoholic in recovery.
My life is no longer about alcohol. I no longer obsess over it.
What I think you're experiencing is the Twisted thinking you refer to. It's still early in recovery for ya and 14 days is quite a feat! but this isn't an overnight matter. It's going to take T.I.M.E.
I strongly encourage ya to do two things:
Bring this up at a meeting for a topic.
Give it 90 days. Do what the bb says for 90 days.
Then make a decision
Alcohol is not my identity because I chose it not to be.
I have cancer.It doesn't define who I am. I don't allow that any more than I allow the fact that I am an alcoholic define me.
I am a cancer fighter and survivor.
And an alcoholic in recovery.
My life is no longer about alcohol. I no longer obsess over it.
What I think you're experiencing is the Twisted thinking you refer to. It's still early in recovery for ya and 14 days is quite a feat! but this isn't an overnight matter. It's going to take T.I.M.E.
I strongly encourage ya to do two things:
Bring this up at a meeting for a topic.
Give it 90 days. Do what the bb says for 90 days.
Then make a decision
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
Not everyone needs to maintain a daily routine to keep us sober. I appreciate and respect that you do, but I had a life threatening addiction that I have ended and I do not need a daily routine.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Welcome, glad you're here!
For me very early in sobriety I had to set aside too much thinking or future tripping. I simply needed to follow my plan to continue an alcohol free existence and gain some sober time. I need simple as I tend to complicate everything.
I too attend AA - I have no idea what the future holds for my attendance, but I see a lot of people come back to the rooms after some length of sobriety starting over. Typically I hear they relapsed due to not going to meetings and not following the program of AA.
Now, that said I am sure there are a ton of folks who simply feel there sobriety is strong and move on. I get that as well - it's like that on SR, I would think as well - that both groups are representative. Some leave and relapse, some do not.
However, for me I am an alcoholic and as such I believe there is danger in forgetting this. If that happens I may well indeed drink again - as many ( or perhaps most) do.
I am thankful for recognizing I am an alcoholic, accepting this and become willing to change. I can go on an clean up the past, not future trip and live a happy / productive life ( maybe, or maybe not). But, for me if I stop remembering what I am - just like if I were a diabetic - I may be in serious trouble.
I may forget I am an alcoholic, but the booze won't forget I am........
Someday - perhaps I will introduce myself - My name is Fly and I am a grateful recovered alcohol........
For me very early in sobriety I had to set aside too much thinking or future tripping. I simply needed to follow my plan to continue an alcohol free existence and gain some sober time. I need simple as I tend to complicate everything.
I too attend AA - I have no idea what the future holds for my attendance, but I see a lot of people come back to the rooms after some length of sobriety starting over. Typically I hear they relapsed due to not going to meetings and not following the program of AA.
Now, that said I am sure there are a ton of folks who simply feel there sobriety is strong and move on. I get that as well - it's like that on SR, I would think as well - that both groups are representative. Some leave and relapse, some do not.
However, for me I am an alcoholic and as such I believe there is danger in forgetting this. If that happens I may well indeed drink again - as many ( or perhaps most) do.
I am thankful for recognizing I am an alcoholic, accepting this and become willing to change. I can go on an clean up the past, not future trip and live a happy / productive life ( maybe, or maybe not). But, for me if I stop remembering what I am - just like if I were a diabetic - I may be in serious trouble.
I may forget I am an alcoholic, but the booze won't forget I am........
Someday - perhaps I will introduce myself - My name is Fly and I am a grateful recovered alcohol........
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Originally Posted by soberlicious
Not everyone needs to maintain a daily routine to keep us sober. I appreciate and respect that you do, but I had a life threatening addiction that I have ended and I do not need a daily routine.
Hi.
That may be true for some, BUT I’m more comfortable knowing I pay my insurance each day so I don’t do what so many find themselves doing, relapsing.
This getting sober and recovery are 2 separate operations and recovery is a life long process for many in its pursuit.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Mgm, AL
Posts: 1,000
AA is not my life, it is my way of life. Early on I heard that I should work my recovery like I worked my drinking, and I was drinkin'/thinkin' about drinkin' 24/7. They said if I put even a quarter of the effort into staying sober as I did staying blitzed that I had a chance of full recovery. I would learn that full-recovery is a day-at-a-time reprieve...
I needed a "Design for Living," that includes spiritual, physical, and intellectual maintenance--the ole, 'Use It Or Lose It' quip... The Twelve Steps provided me the tools to live life on life's terms regardless the odds...
There's more to not drinkin' than not drinkin'...
I needed a "Design for Living," that includes spiritual, physical, and intellectual maintenance--the ole, 'Use It Or Lose It' quip... The Twelve Steps provided me the tools to live life on life's terms regardless the odds...
There's more to not drinkin' than not drinkin'...
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Alcoholics have to maintain a daily routine to keep us sober.
Alcohol keeps an alcoholic sick.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
We need to be reminded that stopping drinking is not the end of our dis ease, it is progressive then miserable living if we drink or not.
If we are alcoholic more is needed for a healthy mental and emotional life. It’s usually called recovery and takes time and change, 2 words alcoholics don’t deal with well.
BE WELL
If we are alcoholic more is needed for a healthy mental and emotional life. It’s usually called recovery and takes time and change, 2 words alcoholics don’t deal with well.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
However, I want someday for my life to no longer be about alcohol -- either consuming it or obsessively celebrating my sobriety. I want to be done with it, pick up my bed and walk forward in life.
"What you think about expands." I don't want to spend the rest of my life thinking about alcohol, and I'm worried AA may promote alcohol obsession.
LaTraviata,
my life stopped being "about alcohol" when i stopped drinking years ago. i spent no more time consuming it, planning to consume it, when where how or whether to get more, when where how i would drink it, or any of that stuff. i was done with alcohol.
i do not obsessively celebrate my sobriety.
and i got sober so that i could indeed move forward in and with my life. soberly.
the "step program" has nothing to do with promoting alcohol obsession and everything to do with moving forward with life without life being about alcohol.
and for what it's worth, i felt much as you do when i was two weeks sober. one of the joys, really, of being sober has been the opportunity to see and experience things differently over extended periods of time . to have more options.
congratulations on your 14 days, LT.
keep going.
"What you think about expands." I don't want to spend the rest of my life thinking about alcohol, and I'm worried AA may promote alcohol obsession.
LaTraviata,
my life stopped being "about alcohol" when i stopped drinking years ago. i spent no more time consuming it, planning to consume it, when where how or whether to get more, when where how i would drink it, or any of that stuff. i was done with alcohol.
i do not obsessively celebrate my sobriety.
and i got sober so that i could indeed move forward in and with my life. soberly.
the "step program" has nothing to do with promoting alcohol obsession and everything to do with moving forward with life without life being about alcohol.
and for what it's worth, i felt much as you do when i was two weeks sober. one of the joys, really, of being sober has been the opportunity to see and experience things differently over extended periods of time . to have more options.
congratulations on your 14 days, LT.
keep going.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Congrats on 14 days but you may be putting the cart before the horse. Forever is a long time so I just worry about today. Tomorrow will bring whatever tomorrow brings but tomorrow is not today
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