StellaPolaris

Thank you, Gottalife. I'm still in my first week, still sober. I'm working on all kinds of issues in my life (yesterday E - eating healthier, today F - friends and family). I have a lot of support, although they don't really know I'm an alcoholic. It also seems to work for me to have different themes every day, something for my mind to hone in on when I consider drinking.

My biggest concern is that if I spend all my energy fighting addiction, then that's what defines me, an addict is all I am. I'm trying to banish the addict by being a lot more, if that makes sense. AA seems very addiction-oriented (which I'm sure it should be), and I've read the steps and the stories. I like to think that once I've accepted that I can't drink, that I'm an alcoholic, that I can move on to being something else.

...I might be proven wrong, in which case I'll try a meeting. Maybe.

Dee74

sounds a little like convoluted addictive reasoning to me Stella.

You already know an addict is not all you are, anymore than an invalid is all that a person with a broken leg, or a recovering patient, is.

It is necessary to put in a lot of work and effort in the first few weeks.
You find the right level and the right balance with time.

Don't talk yourself into getting complacent in the meantime.

D