Lost on another bender.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 369
Lost on another bender.
Once I get started I'm in trouble. Had 73 days in now I'm off the deep end again. Not even sure why I'm posting. Made an ass of myself earlier in the new comers forum. They ended my thread as they should have because I was being a horrible example to newly sober people. Once I start all bets are off. It's ridiculous. Again not sure why I'm here right now. Someone must have been here. I mean I get bad once I have that first drink
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Dave36 
My alcoholism must be different than most. There must be an old timer that understands this.
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
Originally Posted by Dave36
My alcoholism must be different than most. There must be an old timer that understands this.
But I can't imagine anyone here is going to give you permission to continue to hurt yourself.
You deserve better. I hope you are willing to figure out what is going to get you to stop this madness.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 369
It blows my mind how fast I got back to this place. Just a few days and all the hard work I put into being sober is gone. There's no point in me just posting drunk **** on here. I keep saying that I know. I will be sober soon.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
Originally Posted by Dave36
My alcoholism must be different than most. There must be an old timer that understands this.
I think your alcoholism is exactly like mine. I gave myself over to my addiction because it was easier than trying to change.
I liked being drunk because it was familiar and comfortable and it gave me an escape from the unrelenting pressure of being me.
It was when drinking stopped giving me that respite, that I knew I was in some serious trouble.
Unfortunately Dave, the more you drink the more inevitable that day when getting drunk no longer works for you - and who's to say what you'll lose before you get to that point?.
I used to believe I had no power in me that could stop a bender.
Now I know that's nonsense borne of fear, self doubt, self hatred and a little bit of pure alcoholic FU contraryness.
So yeah - I get it...I just don't buy it.
and I think you're still here cos a little bit of you knows it's BS too.
Stop. Stop now.
D
brought tears to my eyes!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Earth
Posts: 607
Hello again Dave. I've been exactly where your at. 4 months- gone, 7 months-gone. Now 29 months and hanging in there. Really didn't know any other way to live with myself other than drowning everything out with booze.
You just have to come to realize that the pursuit of instant gratification through intoxication is a futile effort. Your 73 days were not a waste. You had to have learned something. You can do this just figure out where you went wrong and learn from it. Isn't that how we get anywhere in life? Just the fact that your posting shows that you want to do the right thing.
Hope you figure it out. Good night.
You just have to come to realize that the pursuit of instant gratification through intoxication is a futile effort. Your 73 days were not a waste. You had to have learned something. You can do this just figure out where you went wrong and learn from it. Isn't that how we get anywhere in life? Just the fact that your posting shows that you want to do the right thing.
Hope you figure it out. Good night.
Tired
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 116
It is easier to get drunk and then post about what you feel about it.
It is easier because your drunk , our feelings slew forth. A big wild vomit. It, when we wake sober, is so embarrassing!
When you are sober, THAT is hard. Honesty? Honest expression & what our drunken manrta has done to others, THAT is the bitch, Queen of the bunch.
To wake up, sober, brush your teeth & say, 'God help me through what I have done'
Then do it.
And repair it, then fall asleep that night, absolutely sober & have faced it all?
THAT...is the sleep of the rock.
How absolutely sweet is that.
It is easier because your drunk , our feelings slew forth. A big wild vomit. It, when we wake sober, is so embarrassing!
When you are sober, THAT is hard. Honesty? Honest expression & what our drunken manrta has done to others, THAT is the bitch, Queen of the bunch.
To wake up, sober, brush your teeth & say, 'God help me through what I have done'
Then do it.
And repair it, then fall asleep that night, absolutely sober & have faced it all?
THAT...is the sleep of the rock.
How absolutely sweet is that.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi Dave.
My posts I believe are things newcomers don’t like because they generally don’t offer a quick fix and many want to be on the track the next day all bright and cheery.
Wish it was that simple.
The fact is stopping drinking, becoming sober, is the start of recovery.
I say this because alcohol which we think held us together until it became our enemy is not in the picture any longer BUT usually the reasons we drank are still there. They are there but are not being addressed so many are more miserable than when we were drinking.
For long term recovery we must work on and change the triggers for our drinking and that takes a 4 letter word, TIME.
For change is in the general category called feelings which goes from fear into anger and loneliness plus a lot more.
These changes will result in Living Sober which is the greatest. As a starter being comfortable in our own skin most of the time along with being happy, joyous and free.
BE WELL
My posts I believe are things newcomers don’t like because they generally don’t offer a quick fix and many want to be on the track the next day all bright and cheery.
Wish it was that simple.
The fact is stopping drinking, becoming sober, is the start of recovery.
I say this because alcohol which we think held us together until it became our enemy is not in the picture any longer BUT usually the reasons we drank are still there. They are there but are not being addressed so many are more miserable than when we were drinking.
For long term recovery we must work on and change the triggers for our drinking and that takes a 4 letter word, TIME.
For change is in the general category called feelings which goes from fear into anger and loneliness plus a lot more.
These changes will result in Living Sober which is the greatest. As a starter being comfortable in our own skin most of the time along with being happy, joyous and free.
BE WELL
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
Like what Dee said, only with a blunter edge. I was using my 'alcoholism' as an excuse to drink. To quit, I had to quit doing that.
You just had 73 days and I would guess your ass didn't fall off because you werent putting a drink in your mouth. Dump what you have at home, if you have to use your two hands to hold your ass on, but it won't fell off, it will give them something to do instead of reaching for a glass. You Can Do This.
You just had 73 days and I would guess your ass didn't fall off because you werent putting a drink in your mouth. Dump what you have at home, if you have to use your two hands to hold your ass on, but it won't fell off, it will give them something to do instead of reaching for a glass. You Can Do This.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 398
Originally Posted by Dave36
My alcoholism must be different than most. There must be an old timer that understands this.
Anyway, I think you're here because some part of you wants the craziness to end.
Start over the next day (is it already the next day?) and that's it. Now...if there is any alcohol left and it's the next day and you're (reasonably) sober- get rid of it!!!
We all embarrass ourselves everywhere. Don't beat yourself up over any of this. The addiction wants to keep you down, so it will keep reminding you. I'm sure no one here is mad. Pick up and move on. You can have 73 days again!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
