Erectile dysfunction
Well, I had my first drink at 18 and I'm now 32. I used to drink about 10 beers a night (although I had gotten on a Redd's Wicked Apple Ale kick in the months before I stopped). I had not been with a sexual partner for about 3 years prior to my current girlfriend. I did have some issues with my last real girlfriend and I was drinking pretty heavily almost every night while I was with her. We broke up about 5 years ago and I've only been with 2 partners in between her and my current girlfriend. I actually had the opposite problem with those two girls and finished way too fast.
Lindbain, I applaud your diligence. You are doing great on not drinking. You are taking care of yourself and are extremely rational. Your girlfriend is very lucky that you love her so much and want to do these things for both of you. I wish you all the luck and determination you need to succeed with your sobriety and your desire for fulfilling sex!
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Lindbain, thanks for your candor and courage in bringing up this subject!
Hope it's okay for a lady to weigh in on this...
I'm an alcoholic, and I had an alcoholic boyfriend. He drank daily from the time he woke up (on weekends) or got home from work (on weekdays) until he collapsed into bed about 7:30 each night. Daily consumption was about 6+ shots of vodka and 6-9 beers.
When we were together, one of two things would happen each and every time: 1) he'd lose his erection right in the middle of things, or 2) he couldn't finish.
In addition to this... In order to have any hope of achieving climax, he had to manage the timing of the encounter so carefully that there was no opportunity to give me any pleasure.
He also had/has very low motivation for sex with an actual woman. He prefers masturbation with erotic imagery. This way, he's not distracted by having to meet a woman's sexual needs, and also not self-conscious.
I can tell he's not content with this. And I do feel for him. We still speak, and can talk openly about how alcohol affects us. But, he's not quite ready to quit. Still trying to manage it, 'ya know.
Hope it's okay for a lady to weigh in on this...
I'm an alcoholic, and I had an alcoholic boyfriend. He drank daily from the time he woke up (on weekends) or got home from work (on weekdays) until he collapsed into bed about 7:30 each night. Daily consumption was about 6+ shots of vodka and 6-9 beers.
When we were together, one of two things would happen each and every time: 1) he'd lose his erection right in the middle of things, or 2) he couldn't finish.
In addition to this... In order to have any hope of achieving climax, he had to manage the timing of the encounter so carefully that there was no opportunity to give me any pleasure.
He also had/has very low motivation for sex with an actual woman. He prefers masturbation with erotic imagery. This way, he's not distracted by having to meet a woman's sexual needs, and also not self-conscious.
I can tell he's not content with this. And I do feel for him. We still speak, and can talk openly about how alcohol affects us. But, he's not quite ready to quit. Still trying to manage it, 'ya know.
Thank you. I do love my girlfriend and without her, I would not have had the motivation to quit drinking. Alcohol reduced my libido and caused me both physical and mental problems that I am just now trying to overcome. I often got teased by people I know because of the fact that I went so long without sex. It seems strange to people without an addiction problem that a relatively young, heterosexual man would be able to go so long without a relationship of any kind (sexual or otherwise) with a member of the opposite sex. The reason was because I was already in a relationship. A relationship with alcohol. I've now ended that relationship and am trying to move on with my life. Hopefully this chapter will provide true happiness rather than the false sense of temporary happiness I felt whenever I took a drink.
I got some of my blood work results in. Blood sugars are normal so I am not diabetic. Liver and kidneys are working fine. A little low on B12. I won't know about testosterone levels till early next week. I'm really scared of the idea that there is some kind of permanent damage. Maybe it's not likely but that would be beyond devastating to me.
There's a far far greater likelihood that all is fine
Psychological stuff can be very powerful - worry stress, fear.
It may be as simple as you having to get used to having sex sober.
See what the Dr says next week
D
Psychological stuff can be very powerful - worry stress, fear.
It may be as simple as you having to get used to having sex sober.
See what the Dr says next week
D
During the height of my alcoholism, I was drinking a fifth of vodka daily, taking antidepressant meds, and smoking cigarettes. Absolutely killed my sex drive. Erections were short-lived if I was able to get it up at all and I was only 29 at the time. After a month of sobriety my testosterone production seemed to pick up to normal levels, but when I was a daily vodka drinker I had no interest in sex. Just wanted to get drunk to be honest. I lived with a gf at the time yet I had zero urge to initiate sex.
Appreciate everyone's feedback. I honestly think my problem is partially physical (possibly lowered testosterone due to excessive alcohol consumption) and partially psychological, having gone sexless for about 3 years (also due to excessive alcohol consumption). It looks like the alcohol is the common factor either way.
I am learning that there is a whole bunch of stuff in my life that I thought was physical that is really psychologial in origin. I still don'd understand a lot of it and I'm actively working on getting it fixed, but accepting that it's possible has been a good first step for me
In some ways I'm glad that it came back normal and in other ways I'm not. I know it sounds weird, but if the results had come back low, at least I would have had a quick, immediate answer. Now I kind of feel like I took all of these steps to find out what was wrong and here I am back at square one.
You're not really tho
If it's psychological, with a little time and patience you should see improvement.
like I said all along I doubt if it's a big deal - most of us have to deal with sober sex and most of us seem to turn out ok in the end.
D
If it's psychological, with a little time and patience you should see improvement.
like I said all along I doubt if it's a big deal - most of us have to deal with sober sex and most of us seem to turn out ok in the end.
D
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