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Guilt

Old 03-12-2015, 07:07 AM
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Guilt

I'm having a lot of guilt. Over my addiction- what on earth have I done to my body? How could I have allowed this to go on for so long? Oh, the money wasted. I have no savings account. It just blows my mind.

How do I get past this?
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Old 03-12-2015, 07:21 AM
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Guilt was my largest piece of baggage I brought into recovery, more over what I had done to others than myself, though obviously I had let myself down badly as well. Forgiving myself seems to be the pat answer to your question but actually it turned out...

First I admitted the problem and took action on it. I took a long hard look at myself and acknowledged what an ugly individual I had become. I told all my shameful secrets to another human being and became willing to change into a better person and try to get rid of my selfishness. Then I went out and made a serious effort to repair the damage I had done, paid old debts, made restitution and healed emotional harm. I asked forgiveness of those I had hurt and showed contrition and resolved never to behave that way again.

After that I looked around and found, as far as self forgiveness was concerned, there was nothing left to forgive. I had done my utmost to straighten out the past and could now move forward with no guilt and no skeletons in the closet. That felt great.
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Old 03-12-2015, 07:36 AM
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Guilt is a wrong turn off the road to recovery. Get back on it. And to stay on the road (to continue the driving metaphor) we need a map i.e., recovery plan.
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Old 03-12-2015, 07:37 AM
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By not dwelling...its easy to kick ourselves when were down

Distract yourself with positive activities that will reinforce your sobriety and replace old negative thoughts with new postive thoughts

Stay active & be kind to yourself Alaina
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Old 03-12-2015, 07:43 AM
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Same here, how much money did i not spent on alcohol. And it's not only the alcohol, i used to buy all kind of things that i didn't need on internet when i was drunk, gambling etc. I even don't wanna know how much it was.

But that is the past you can't do anything about it. My psy calls it "learning money". Everytime i want to drink again i'm thinking about it, and i have to say it works, i never want to be in that situation again
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Old 03-12-2015, 07:46 AM
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Guilt and shame are part of the disease of alcoholism and can easily pull us back into drinking again, which is intentional. Yes, it's normal to feel guilt for mistakes we've made and to make amends when appropriate. But, the best thing is to learn from these emotions and to move on and not make the same mistakes.

Journaling helped me to get the negative feelings out of my head and onto paper.
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Old 03-12-2015, 07:46 AM
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Guilt and shame are part of the disease of alcoholism and can easily pull us back into drinking again, which is intentional. Yes, it's normal to feel guilt for mistakes we've made and to make amends when appropriate. But, the best thing is to learn from these emotions and to move on and not make the same mistakes.

Journaling helped me to get the negative feelings out of my head and onto paper.
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Old 03-12-2015, 07:51 AM
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I actually found guilt a very powerful source of motivation for me to get sober, and then to work on my recovery. I just could not live anymore with the kind of guilt I had towards the end of my drinking and it really helped kick off a change. It's not always easy because I still fall into some old behavioral patterns at times (without drinking), but the big difference is that I am now able to put an end to it right away instead of continuing it in a compulsive way. I really feel that I'm able to use guilt as a constructive force in my life, and as long as I don't stay stuck in dysfunctional behaviors, it never becomes crippling anymore, more like a momentary reminder that it's time to watch what I do.

I also did/do what Gottalife said, talk about the past things and what's still not kosher in my present... many people use the 12-step program for this, I use therapy and sometimes trusted friends for specific issues. I also like to understand what leads me to behaviors I feel guilty about (I've found it's a lot more than just drinking), this helps me change the patterns. Then act differently. I actually think that guilt is not bad if it's not extreme, it shows that we have a sense of responsibility.
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Old 03-12-2015, 08:11 AM
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ignore it. and move forward. I oddly did not have much guilt in the begining. I got lucky and was able to work on sobriety the guilt haunted me much later but it was easier to tend to then.

Guilt is a bad emotion that can quickly drag you back to the bottle. if you cant handle the guilt and you cant deal with the guilt then dont focus on it. whats done is done work on what you can work on now. Guilt over no savings? stuff a dollar under your mattress today. Guilt over what you have done to your body? eat healthy meal and go for a walk. Keep doing these things and the guilt will cancel itself out in time.
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