sleepie

Hi everyone. Lately I read a few things here that I really thought only I did about drinking. One of them is being really superstitious about numbers and days to quit. Someone here mentioned not quitting on an even or odd day, I don't remember but I hate that I am superstitious about this.

As if certain numbers are unlucky and I can't quit on them. My quit date is on an unlucky number today.

I think I'll get a lot of comments about "I drank cause it was Tuesday" or "you'll find any excuse to drink". But I am talking about those with a genuine fear about this kind of superstition.

Maybe it's some kind of OCD thing, I don't know. And yes I know it sounds nuts.

lycanlaz

funnily enough, when my ex came to me and i knew she'd been drinking, she was really upset about numbers. i have sequences of sevens following me around, repeated 7s everywhere. an old friend of mine started taking the **** out of it on the day i bought an xbox, because there were a whole bunch of repeated 7s on the barcode, said to me ok if there are repeated 7s on the receipt then maybe you've got something going on. looks at the receipt. looks at me. 777. i've tried to gauge it against other repeated numbers and it just doesn't keep repeating in the same way. for a while i felt like i had to run my life by it... if there were repeated sevens i had to buy this thing or divert my path etc... the thing is, what difference does it make? my ex came in to me shrieking about the numbers controlling her about how everything added up to 28, like how when you work out the numerology of hers and my name is comes out as a 2 and and 8... and even so, so what? she's destroying herself over numbers. i told her to choose a reality and that was the last time i spoke to her before everything kicked off. even if there is a significant thing with numbers what the **** are you supposed to do about it? you can let yourself be ruled by external forces or you can take responsibility for yourself. it's so easy to fall into the trap of your mind and patterns and identify with perceived sequences but what does it do for you? if it'll screw things up, so what? reclaim it. test it. what will it do? you've been to the worst place... you know where it can go - letting something rule your life because the possibility of it manifesting something negative... if that's the case then you should be prepared to reality test. if it goes wrong, by all means, continue. if it's the same as before, well then. you know you're looking for excuses.

alaina742

Omg I know!!!! I like certain numbers. 7 is wonderful. 11 is my birthday. Something cool would be to have a sober date on Valentines Day or February 29th. I want a cool, meaningful date. I've actually postponed stopping for this reason.

sleepie

It's crazy that we wait for the right day or number. What is with that? I used to postpone for days too.

I was told that compulsions and ocd behaviors are sometimes manifested to make order in chaos. I had a very chaotic upbringing and these tendencies started then.

Dee74

I can only guess at how immeasurably hard that can be.

I can really only repeat what I've said before tho sleepie - I hope you find a way to deal with your underlying issues that doesn't involve something as self destructive as alcohol.

you deserve way better

D

Skyhawker

I had a red Hyundai Santa Fe with the last 4 digits on its vin: 6669. Best car I ever owned. Flew home one day on Delta Flight 666 (not joking), the flight was smooth and uneventful, it was also not a very full one :P. Numbers are just numbers, at least in my opinion. When you feel like its time for you to quit, its time.

Soberwolf

What D said

doggonecarl

Yes, I too remember reading about someone who couldn't quit on a specific date. As I recall, dates were a huge hurdle to committing to quit.

At the time I thought, "Odd, dates don't stop this person from drinking...only quitting."

I'd say the same thing to you, sleepie. If you are superstitious/OCD about dates and numbers, how come they only impact quitting, and not drinking?

zjw

it seems like any big choice i've made in my life have a kid quit drinking buy a house get a new car etc.. it was never the right time. I have no idea when the right time woulda come about either. I always had to just jump in with both feet. If i woulda waited for the right time I woulda waited forever.

sleepie

Defective grey matter doggone carl!
Thanks for responding people

OCD and compulsions are real disorders.

Soberwolf

Have you seen a Dr about this Sleepie

sleepie

In the past I have. Benzos work pretty well but you know how that goes with all their addictive qualities. SSRI's kick in my tourette's (please don't laugh I'm very ashamed of it,it's not like what you see in movies)... and the others just aren't that successful. If I had the money I would love to try and get this seen to but I simply don't, and never have. Mental health care in the states... not a priority. I have been in and out of therapy for years and it does nothing. I spoke with a neuropsychologist recently who actually for the first time in my life GOT it! She knew exactly what I need- but it would cost thousands of dollars that I will never have. Plus I have the hurdle of a learning disorder so it kind of goes without saying I won't likely be elligible for a job that pays enough for the kind of care I need on this and other matters regarding my unfortunate grey matter.

nigey1

Hi Sleepie

I know where you are coming from.

I recently got put on SSRI and they are helping for me although not a cure.

I have fought it for ages and it wears you down and has potential to undo good sobriety work

Hope you find what works

EndGameNYC

I coordinated a post-9/11 study in 2004. During that time and a while afterwards, every time I looked at the time it was 9:11. And everything was priced at $9.11.

2muchpain

Yeah, I know what you mean by numbers. If I actually wrote down every ritual I go through, throughout the day, it would go on for pages. Everything has to end on an even number but 5 works sometimes too. Go figure. Definitely an OCD issue, and I take medication that is suppose to help.
The only time my OCD is an issue with drinking is that if I have one drink, I have to have another (the number 2). If I have a third drink, I'd have to have a fourth. Eventually, I'd lose count, but if I count the number of empty beer cans or empty liquor bottles, and it turns out to be an odd number, than I have to drink more for it to come out even.
OCD is a real problem, but people that don't have it just don't understand. Can't blame them because it does sound nuts. John

Aellyce

OCD is something that always comes out on top of possible problems whenever I take assessments for personality disorders. I don't have any of the typical behavioral compulsions, but obsessive (often really weird) thoughts definitely, especially when I drink. Not with numbers, but I recall many instances when I was "seeing" special significance in totally random events and occurrences, kinda psychosis-like. I also struggled with perfectionism quite a lot in the past. I definitely have OCD streaks.

Sleepie I'm quite positive that if you quit drinking for good and maintained some sober time for a while, many or maybe all of your ailments would get much easier and more treatable. The question is how to achieve that without these OCD thoughts and other things getting in the way!

MIRecovery

Every day I was drinking turn out to be an unlucky day But I only drank on days that ended in Y

Soberella66

I think I know what you mean. For years, especially when I first started to go to AA, I always wanted the 'really cool sobriety date' to give me some kind of edge or so it would have a nice ring to to it, but now I'd like to have ANY sobriety date! I think OCD goes hand in hand with trauma and the cereberal damage drugs and alcohol does can cause all kinds of tics and thought disorders so this seems quite normal. Try not to worry about the details.

advbike

I have some mild OCD and also got fixated on quit dates. I would often quit for a week or two then rationalize drinking further and quitting on a "better date" with some numerical significance, like all divisible by 3 or 5 or alternating odd/even numbers. Or a holiday, which never worked..

Ultimately it was a mental trick my AV had found, to keep me drinking indefinitely. Cunning and baffling for sure.. yet in a moment of clarity I finally quit one day after drinking a lot the prior night and committing a social faux pas. I decedided enough was enough.

Yet... I was still quite pleased to find some interesting numbers in my quit date.. in fact, as I recall, I checked it before I committed, lol.. my date has the number 2 cubed, 5 squared, and the year was 13. Nice..

Sigh.. maybe I should get that looked at..

2muchpain

Trying to explain OCD to a person that hasn't experienced it is like an alcoholic trying to explain it to a non-alcoholic. I've heard non-alcoholics say alcoholics are just people with a lot of excuses to drink, that they can stop anytime. Some alcoholics think people that say they deal with OCD as an issue think it is just an excuse to keep on drinking. Dealing with OCD is not an excuse to keep on drinking, but it can be a challenge when someone is trying to quit drinking, just like anxiety or depression can be obstacles. All three of these issues have lead to many deaths, with or without alcohol. Nothing funny about that. Just saying. John