carebearlost

I really miss alcohol, it seems it is all I think about. I miss the relaxation I would get from it.

How long does it take to stop missing it so much? I have been sober about a week.

KAD

There must be something you did not like about it and don't miss at all or you wouldn't be here, right? Focus on that. People don't come here because they want to keep drinking. They usually come here because they're concerned and want to stop but can't seem to do it alone. It's normal to still think about it, and even obsess over it. It's also normal to forget all the misery it caused us and only remember the good times. You have to consciously remind yourself that it was bad enough for you to recognize the need to quit.

Are you doing anything to help you stay sober?

IOAA2

Hi.

The urges defiantly ease up when we stop thinking about drinking, try thinking of happy times, places and experiences.

Getting sober and staying sober are 2 different things. Both require work and practice not drinking even if we want to.
Staying sober involves changing ourselves so we are healthy mentally and emotionally and is a slow process in general but the results are wonderful.

It’s a process that works one day at a time in a row that we don’t drink.

BE WELL

ImReadyToQuit

Come report back to us after 90 days. That always seems like the breakthrough point. Kind of like missing an abusing relationship.. After some time you forget about them.

sugarbear1

try not romanticizing about it, it was really horrible for us or we wouldn't have this love-hate relationship with it.

other than not drinking, what method are you using to stay stopped?

RoyGBiv

When I do this I think about it and ride it to the conclusion.

example...The memories I miss are always in the first few drinks, when I'm still having fun out with people. But then I think that through to its logical end: next up is being at home and cracking more open because the buzz is never enough... and then trying to cram in two more drinks even though it's bedtime.. followed by the hazy miserable feeling in my head the next morning..trying not to fall asleep at work... then inevitably drinking alone at home most of the time to save money and still get to be drunk.. and feel awful every morning... and solidifying that i will continue to be a lonely miserable sick feeling drunk......

By the time I'm done I have a very bad feeling in my gut remembering how I used to feel all the time. And the feeling I had originally passes into powerlessness.

anyway it works for me. I think I got the idea to do that from an oft posted thread here on urge surfing or some such.

doggonecarl

Remember posting this:

"I hate drinking so much and really want to stop."

You hate it and miss it. The baffling nature of alcoholism. Treat the alcoholism and your feelings of longing for a drink should lessen.

carebearlost

I do remember posting how much I hated alcohol. You are all so right, I am only thinking about the good parts. I am just feeling so miserable and down right now. It is odd to miss something I hated. I hated the increased anxiety, shaking hands, fuzziness and nausea in the morning. Having to drink in the morning just to feel better.

At this point, I just want to feel normal without ever turning to alcohol again. I honestly don't have a strategy of how I am going to do that; but I am just taking it one day at a time.

ScottFromWI

A week sober is a great accomplishment, but remember that you are very, very early into your sober journey.

You will start to feel lots of physical improvements soon as your body heals and adjusts to not having so much poison to deal with every day.

Having some kind of strategy or plan is very important though, and that plan could star as simply as posting here and joining a class/daily thread. It could mean joining a meeting based recovery group like AA or SmartRecovery/Life Ring. It could mean seeing a therapist or drug/alchohol counselor. We all have issues in our life and always will, so we do need to find ways to cope with them without running to a bottle...and that's what sobriety plans help you do.

doggonecarl

Please give some thought to this. Recovery is learning to cope without alcohol. If you don't have the ability to copy, you are likely to return to drinking or be miserable in your sobriety.

LionOfJudah

Believe me... you don't want to be where I am now... with the withdrawals. There's not much you are missing. Try some relaxing herbal tea instead.

Soberwolf

Congrats on your week sober thats exellent

the mental cravings will shift with work on sobriety and some time

it does lift

Soberwolf

Congrats on your week sober thats exellent

the mental cravings will shift with work on sobriety and some time

it does lift

leviathan

i love my life in recovery but i would be a liar if i said i never missed some of the aspects of drinking. i've done my share of fantasizing. -dead end.- i think that alcohol has more allure in the first place for those of us who experience emotional discomfort (trouble relaxing, overstimulated, anxious, etc.). its an anesthetic. and its quick.

then the quick fix becomes another factor amplifying the original problem. relaxation and calm are paid for with extreme anxiety and poor health.

i was very hesitant to admit the benefits were far outweighed by the side effects. i remember the good parts. i just know they are not a good bargain. not an option anymore.

advbike

Yeah.. what he said..

And just stop thinking about it. I found that all my urges and thoughts of alcohol disappeared once I made the decision to not contemplate having a drink anymore. I just stopped listening to those thoughts. For me, alcohol is 'no longer an option'.

heartcore

It really is like the first couple weeks after getting out of a doomed love affair. Of course you see little things around the house that remind you of your ex, you look at photos and wonder if you'll ever be happy again, you rage against the hurt they caused, you weep in the shower at the loss of all the happy dreams...

And at that point you're just wacko, BUT you promised your best friends (who are sick of this sad and demented story) that you would go "no-contact" and so you don't answer your ex's calls and you slowly become yourself again, and start going out, and paint the living room blue like you always wanted to. And then a day comes when you realize that you haven't thought about your ex in a while. And then you see someone on the street who reminds you of your ex and you feel a rush of mourning. And then you meet someone who sparks your interest, and you feel alive and hopeful.

The two processes are very similar in my experience.

I am in my 7th month of sobriety, and while I occasionally find myself romanticizing memories of alcohol, my life has actually gotten so full that I don't know where I would fit drinking back in! It has gotten so far away that I honestly can't remember what if felt like to be under the influence of alcohol. When I romanticize it, I'm not remembering what it FELT like, sometimes just the image of the glass and the alcohol, as though I just want a photograph of it, rather than to drink it...

So what I'm saying (with too many words) is the desire becomes more and more faint with each day of sobriety. Occasionally it rears up and pretends to be powerful again, but it only has a few minutes of that pretend power, and then it sinks back into the ground, emptied and reduced. Just don't drink, no matter what. Go "no-contact." This goes away.

Dee74

Most of us drank for years carebear - it takes a little time for us to get over that - but you will.

You'll start building a new life, find new ways to deal with old problems, and you won't think about booze or miss it so much

D

otter

I miss having a beer with some BBQ and an order of wings or a glass of wine with a good steak or pasta.

You know what I don't miss? Waking up and drinking to avoid the hangover until it gets so bad I go through DTs. Hanging out at seedy bars with people I wouldn't let into my home. Driving drunk. Disappointing my family. The list goes on and on and on...

I'll have a Gatorade with those wings thank you!

Don't forget why your here!