sad day
 

Called to get into a substance abuse program from the local hospital and all they offer are group therapy and 3 12 step program meetings a week. Ughh. The 12 steps doesnt work for me

Hi, Tear. Will you share why it doesn't work for you?

The whole idea of giving up. And the higher power. Ive tried it before and just cant get passed that part

What if you were to 'yield' for a while until you go through the steps? And what if you didn't worry so much about "Higher Power" and simply 'yielded' to suggestions of some people who were staying sober long periods of time but taking some actions?

I mean, if you're not satisfied with how you feel after a year having done them, you can always go back to what you're doing today, right? Just suspend judgement for while and take some suggestions? If nothing else, you could save some money and get rested up?

I am an atheist and still find a lot comfort in AA meetings. In fact, I find Quad-A (Alchoholics Anonymous for Atheists and Agnostics) meetings annoying and pretentious. I just enjoy spending time around people who have gone through what I have. I would say at least half of my homegroup are atheists. I always looked at the old AA adage of "You get out what you put in" a little differently than most. What I put in isn't religious, and I don't necessarily believe I am completely powerless, but what I do believe, is that if I stay dedicated and try to use the strengths others have gained from experience, I'll get nothing but positive things in return.

/2cents

It's a great thing to be able to stop fighting everything and everyone, including an addiction.

You call it "giving up" - I think it's called surrender in AA? Is that what you mean? It is the most freeing thing to stop fighting, to stop all the futile attempts at controlling life and other people.

I hope you find peace for yourself, however you find it.

I did the whole aa thing for roughly a year of my own free will. No court told me to go. It just isnt for me.

It was nice meeting with people and sharing stories. I dont however have any contact with anyone from there. I didnt really when i was there.

Have you visited the secular connections forum here at SR?

I just dont give up, i have a strong enough will to do it if i want to. I guess i just dont Believe in surrendering myself.

I have not. I talked to my doctor and he gave me a packet to the local substance abuse program.

Okay, well, hitting bottom has a way of changing perspectives. I was amazed at how much the crazy drunks buttmunches had learned when I came in after I ran out of ideas... ;) Keep your options open--they have a way of dwindling over time.

Good luck in your search!

Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Check out that section of SR. If you are really willing to quit, something will eventually click.

Then the ball is in your court, as they say. You don't want to go back to AA. Want to do this on your own. Fine. But as I look back over your posts, you've struggled with doing it on your own.

If you are going to continue doing this on your own--and it can be done--you better come up with a recovery plan that supports your decision to quit. And you better identify the failure points in your current "plan" so you can fix them and start accumulating some sober time.

I understand you are being triggered by your wife's health issues. But that just makes your sobriety that much more important. People are counting on you. Don't stand in the way of your own recovery.

Maybe i should give it a go again before condeming it i suppose eh

hi tear - i hope you find something that works to assist you. many do succeed on their own but usually have a plan of some sort and i think the different recovery programs assist us in finding tools which we can mold into a plan that works for us.

posting and reading on SR has become one of my tools.

i wasn't able to do this much in early sobriety but as things morphed into real recovery this is something that helped me. instead of focusing on what i was giving up i instead put my focus on what i could attain. building a sober life. something new to achieve. something to add to my existence vs something being taken away.

just some thoughts... sober travels guy!

I know that I really struggled doing it on my own. And I'm an atheist in AA and I am fine, worked the steps, I had to concede that I needed help. That was the giving up, as you put it. But there are other programs if AA isn't your cup of tea. But, it seems to me that if you're struggling this badly, it is time to come to terms that you will have to let others in to stop drinking.

If you are not ready yet to quit, you can find a million reasons and excuses not to and you can keep your focus on "what doesn't work".
If you are ready, you will do the footwork and find what works for you whether it is AA or something else.
The main question is are you ready to quit now and do you still have reservations about quitting?

It seems that if all ya had to do was want to then you would have and wouldn't have a problem now.
Either that or ya just wanna Get into a substance abuse program out of boredom?

I know i have a problem and should stop. But i really dont want to. I like drinking. Everyone is just telling me to stop. So here i am. I know how stupid that sounds by the way lol