sleepie

Not looking back.

sleepie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsemWIZUk4k

sleepie

Gonna just keep swimming.

zjw

all you can do is move forward. take some notes as to keep it from happening again. and dont bother beating yourself up over it.

if you where climbing a mountain and you got halfway up and fell down you wouldnt just go down to the bottom and start all over. the same is true for this. you already got progress under your belt just pick up where you left off and keep on trucken.

PurpleKnight

What happened in the last 5hrs??

All was going great on your last thread!!

pulltight

What zjw said!

Any sober day is a win.

sleepie

At the end of the night I caved and drank some.

Don't want to dwell.

The work thing. Just way to early in my sobriety to deal with anything that intense. For me.

airwick

I absolutely LOVE NEMO

I just have to make sure I'm swimming in the right direction
................the sober way......................................

doggonecarl

I hope you figure out a way to break the chain of despair, anxiety and self loathing that always seems to lead back to drinking....and the repeat of the whole cycle all over again.

zjw

I know for me one thing I had to ask myself is if i drink what the heck will that solve? was it going to make it all better all it did was feed the cycle. I figured i got a lot of problems the least i can do is make drinking not be one of them and it did nothing to help with any of the others. It was like pour gas on the fire really served no point it made no rational sense but I just kept doing it. I new I had to just stop.

thomas11

Sleepie, is it possible you may need additional assistance? Like a medical detox or something? Just throwing it out there.

sleepie

I am alright, I just get a little length of time and then fall off the wagon. I have to figure out what on earth to do when things seem just unbearable. But don't we all...

advbike

Tell yourself drinking isn't an option and stop contemplating it. After awhile the urge goes away.

sleepie

How long? I waited all day yesterday and kept thinking "urge surf, it'll pass"... it didn't. Just hours and hours. But like I said in another thread, it's not simply the desire to drink . It's to stop what goes on in my head and the worrying that is stress induced. Something bad happened yesterday and it troubled me all day, that led to worrying about other things.

otter

Exhausting yourself is a good way to deal with both insomnia and anxiety. When I was detoxing I know I felt way better doing something than sitting still listening to myself blink while I driving myself crazy.

Walk, shovel, clean, wax your car, walk the dog, do a puzzle...anything but kicking the can down the road.

soberclover

Like otter said, keeping yourself busy and away from alcohol is KEY. When I know I'm at risk for drinking, I keep myself away from people, places, and things that I associate with drinking.

neferkamichael

Sleepie, what I did more than anything else was just suffer through the cravings and urges, now 4 years 7 months sober. All the mental junk will go away, everyone is rootin for ya.

sleepie

That's true, I keep looking for good jigsaws I just looked at Target yesterday but they didn't have any. I'll buy some online today. It's hard to distract yourself once the stress gets so heavy and anxiety kicks in.

I know the way I grew up has everything to do with it. I am always waiting and alert for the next bad thing to happen. It was very chaotic. I was even told once that my mother's method of punishment and raising me was the same that nazis used to break people down.

sleepie

I'm pretty sure many of us here have had awful things done to us at the hands of family.

Bostonsportsfan

This

Sleepie you're constantly thinking about drinking and then it causes a relapse. You need to stop allowing drinking to be an option. No matter what life throws at you...no drinking. You don't make it any easier by constantly going to day 1, week 1, etc. It get's easier after you start putting more sober time together.