Serotonin

It's easy to forget why you chose to stop drinking, at least it has been for me. I'm reminding myself each day of where I was emotionally when I woke up the morning of my last drink. I don't want to feel that hopelessness ever again. Being early in my sobriety I am riding waves of emotion. Sometimes I get overwhelmed at how far away my goals seem. But I remind myself to be patient. I remind myself that I am moving forward. I look in the mirror and see a person who doesn't want to give up. I am struggling and life is not easy. I'm learning to embrace this struggle as it will build strength and character. Baby steps. Thanks

SoberLeigh

I look back at my last drinking day, also, and catch glimpses of the darkness, hopelessness and desolation of thstbtime. Never want to go there again.

Keep moving forward; it gets so much better with time, Seratonin.

PurpleKnight

Keep pushing through Seratonin!!

NYCDoglvr

My reason for quitting is very memorable, even after 23 years of sobriety. It was two weeks before Christmas and on a Saturday night, I decided to trim the beautiful tree my brother brought and put up. In a pretty good mood. I'd cut out red wine because tannic acid made me drunk -- no kidding -- but someone had given me two bottles of St. Emillion wine; it's red and festive and hey, it's Christmas. I recall opening the bottle. The next thing I knew I was in the ER at Mt. Siani Hospital strapped to a gurney. In a blackout I decided to take 60 Valium, to this day I have no idea why. A friend lived on my block, knew I was in the apartment and when I didn't answer the phone he used his key and entered the apartment to find me unconscious.

Well I was shocked when I woke up, my stomach pumped and the side of my face black from a serious fall. The doctors said they were keeping me for mandatory three days. I said I really didn't mean to kill myself, I have no reason to! So instead of putting me in the locked ward they put me in the regular hospital and tied me to a bed. The woman in the room with me had diabetes and when doctors went on rounds they'd come in. "In that (the other woman) bed is diabetes, this bed (me) is pills and alcohol." It was horrible and they wouldn't even give me a pill to take the horror off.

I'd known I was powerless over alcohol and that my life had become unmanageable but I didn't think I was an alcoholic. What happened freaked me out and it became very clear that I might kill myself. So it was quit drinking or die. On my hands and knees and crawled into AA and took every suggestion. That was 1991.

zjw

i had panic attacks. I had tried things to stop them but nothing worked. I didnt know what else to do so i quit drinking as a last resort.

I could write an encyclopedia full of all the other reasons I realized later why quiting was good and full of all the other good things that happened to me because i quit and how bad it was that i was doing that like i was etc..

But when i quit it was only to hopefully just maybe ease those panic attacks.

Thank God for those panic attacks! they woke me up.

KaylaK

I've been an addict/alcoholic since I was 16, I'm now 26. My sobriety date has changed from 3/31/13 to 1/8/14 to the "now" sobriety date of 2/13/15. I just got out of the hospital from detox and this is the hard part now. Being home and being able to drink if I so wish. And boy do I wish I could just go to the gas station and pick up a six pack. But I can't because that six pack will turn into a twelve pack which will turn into a black out. I understand how you feel completely. My emotions are all over the place and it's hard to sit by and deal with them sober. I've clouded so many emotions up with drinking that dealing with real life situations sober has not been easy. But my AA meetings and being on here with other people who are going through the same things or have is what keeps me going. It makes me know I'm not alone to deal with it all by myself. Good luck on everything, I know you can do it! Just take another 24!

H2SO4

I keep the engagement ring that was thrown in my face a few weeks ago. That day will be the last ever that I hurt someone through my drinking. Unless I am destitute and desperate, I am not selling it.

Vandermast

hey there Serotonin

The unfortunate part about alcoholism is that it is so easy to forget the horrible stuff.....

Fortunately I have that had much of it that I will never drink again....odat and I will never change my mind


v

CapDB

I hear you Serotonin.

I give up for a couple of weeks only to forget why I gave up in the first place. I am/was in a perilous situation with my bi-nightly drinking increasing to 5/7 days a week with usually 10 drinks. I think it's difficult because although I know I'm in trouble, I've been fortunate enough to keep my life going along pretty okay.

But that means that it's hard to remember why I gave up once I'm doing okay. I convince myself that I wasn't that bad anyway. Vicious circle.

I do believe this time is different as I've somehow managed to sort some things out that have taken me years (wouldn't have taken so long had I been sober...), and the motivation is now a little different.

I did go six months without a drop (due to being on meds) and achieved so much in such a short time, that hopefully this can be a strong enough reminder to help me out this time. Also, my Granddad was an alcoholism victim and now starting to see what drove his behaviour has scared the c*** out of me.