Definition of Alcoholism
 

Hi,
I am wondering if someone that drinks most days, but doesn't care if he gets to or not is an alcoholic? My husband was a major pothead in deep deep denial about his 5+ bowl a day habit and how it was affecting our family, but I left him for a while and he did stop.

Fast forward 4 years, he now drinks a few after work, at work before he comes home, I don't really have any way of knowing how much he drinks other than the fact that he gets sick after like 4, so I am pretty sure he is only having 1 or 2. This happens most days he works and he works 6 days a week, on the nights he comes home before dinner he usually doesn't drink.

A few times a year he will come home totally plowed and get sick all over himself and our car, but other than that its just this drinking at the end of the work day thing that has me worried. He never buys alcohol to drink at home though. Just around other people.

Anyway I guess I was just curious how to draw the line or where the "alcoholism" thing comes into play. I drink at the most once a month, but its always really insane amounts and I can't control it at all, so who is the alcoholic?

Is it possible he isn't and I am? Or is he working on it, his dad was like this and gradually the drinking eclipsed the not drinking and he was just a drinker full time. I also saw my own dad do this, the one after work crap, then soon its 3, and then a half rack etc.

I really don't know much about this stuff, so if anyone wants to weigh in or tell me how it is I would appreciate all opinions.

Hi Intense,

I posted about this subject on the Women's forum.

Love, Anna

Well, I think time will tell with your husband. If he is following his Dads pattern then their is probably something to worry about. You, on the other hand, sound like you definately have a problem. It isn't so much how frequently you drink as what happens when you do drink. So be advised that you are at risk. Only you can pronounce yourself an alcoholic but losing all control is the benchmark for me. That is what seperates the drunks from the normal drinkers in my book. Why don't you check out some AA meetings. It cant hurt and maybe your husband will join you. Best of Luck

Hello Intense.Welcome to the forums.

What may happen with your husband is the very same thing that happened to me.

I was an afterwork toper as well.I needed a few (so I thought) to help me relax after a hard day at the office.

There were times when drinking made me violently ill.However during the times in between when I did'nt get sick my delusions and denial about my alcoholism took over and I began to tell myself that the fact that I was'nt puking all over the bathroom floor must be a sure sign that I was "controlling and moderating" my drinking.

This type of behaviour;Denial with periods of so called "control and moderatrion" followed by binges of vomiting then confusion and bewilderment followed by more denial is the vicious cycle that alcoholics go through constantly.

In my opinion. If even once fore the year I was to willingly imbibe a substance that made me so sick that I hurled all over the dashboard of my car and on the living room carpet then it is an indication of a serious problem that needs investigating.