alaina742

What do I say? Do I tell then in depressed and trying the best that I can? It's the truth. OTOH it's not like these people are known for their sensitivity. They're about the most heartless people I've ever met. Do I sign the paper? What happens if I refuse? Should I call the union on Monday? Should I wait until after the meeting?

I'm so mad at myself for letting it get this far...

markz

You are most likely making a mountain out of a mole hill. It is what it is, and we like to exaggerate everything, take things out of proportion. I would talk it over with your counsellor, or sponsor, or recovery friends, or family.

alaina742

You also told me "people die" about my father's death. Is anything a big deal to you?

Having to sign a paper saying I will be terminated if it happens again is a big deal.

Sasha4

Ignore him - he is missing something vital.

What happened at work?

alaina742

I began to slack off because of my depression and then it got out of control when my dad got sick and died. I still did my inspections, I just let some database stuff slide.

So now I'm meeting with them on Tuesday. No first warning, I'm fairly certain I'm going to be asked to sign that paper. I don't know if I'm willing to do that. IMO since this is the first time this has happened in TEN years I think I should get a bye considering the circumstances.

trachemys

If you're under a doctor's treatment for depression get a statement, on paper, from him/her.

Whatever they ask you to sign, insist that you be able to add explanation to that same piece of paper. No addendum, no signature. Never let them put only the company side in your file.

alaina742

My doctor and I am on the outs because he was rude to me when I told him I don't think I could work. I need to find a new doctor but haven't done so yet (because no motivation).

sugarbear1

alcohol doesn't allow prescribed medications to work properly.

sorry you are having work troubles. termination is not the end of the world, but I don't think you have to sign anything on the spot and you can add your statement to that paper.

Tuesday isn't here yet, maybe focus on today?

alaina742

It's a long story with the meds. I've had one doctor in partial hospitalization flat out tell me that my problem is I need to change things in my life, that it's not something a med can fix.

I don't know what to believe anymore.

I'm trying to not think about it but it just creeps back in.

Della1968

I just spit my coffee my sentiments exactly.

Alaina I agree with the others make sure your statement is also on file. The best thing you can do is focus on your recovery and general well being.

fini

alaina,
you have a union.
that's great, and yes, they should be able to advise you on your rights and what the repercussions are on signing/not signing.
in fact, a union rep could/should accompany you and represent you. that's how it worked in my union, anyway, and i don't know if other unions are different.
talk to them; you're paying them to help and represent you.

biminiblue

Use the "Ignore" feature...when someone is getting to you.

Click on a user's name, when the drop-down list appears, click "Add to ignore list."

My forum experience is so much nicer because of that feature.

Soberwolf

(((Alaina)))

Bailey3

Get your Union involved prior to going into the meeting. This way they can get prepared for whatever might happen. Don't let your supervisors bully you into anything.

If your suffering from depression this is another reason to have your Union steward with you at this meeting. This way you'll have someone else in your corner for moral support.

I know from another thread that you have a government job. I used to also so, I know what kind of games can get played by management. If your supervisors are anything like mine were they may be unique but, they aren't uniquely qualified for there position. Good luck? I'll say a prayer for you.

Gottalife

Speaking as an alcoholic, such an employer with such an approach may well have helped me get sober much sooner than I actually did. The ultimatum "we'll give you one more chance but you must get help for your problem" is a very enlightened approach.

It didn't happen for me. I had employers who would tolerate my behaviour, supervisors who would cover for me, swallow my endless excuses etc, all of which helped me get worse and worse, until I eventually became unemployable.

The last few employers who sacked me for my intolerable behaviour actually played a part in saving my life.

Carlotta

I wish I could triple like this. Get your union involved and don't walk in alone in the meeting. You are really depressed and sound foggy and left to your own devices might not make the best decisions or might give up and bulldozed.
Time to put those union dues to work: you need an advocate right now

Ps: try your best to stay in the now and get some rest this week end. Worrying about what has yet to happen will only stress you out.

alaina742

But what if I can't get anyone from the union to come by Tuesday? Do I just not sin anything until I can get them there?

Carlotta

My suggestion would be that you ask to take a copy of the form home so you can read it in depth before committing in writing then show the copy to your union steward.
Don't let them pressure you to sign something on the spot that you may or may not fully understand (fine prints).
Asking for time to review such a document is only reasonable.
Anyway, Tuesday is four days for now. Your Union's office might be closed (or not) on a Saturday.
Why don't you give them a buzz right now and if no one picks up, leave a message asking them to call you back? Also if they have an internet presence, shoot them an email/message.
Someone might be checking in messages on the week end.

Gonnachange

I'm not an attorney nor do I have any experience with union membership, but I strongly agree with the previous posters that you should not go into the meeting without representation. Talk to your union rep Monday morning and explain the situation; if nobody can be with you on Tuesday s/he may be able to intervene and have the meeting postponed until adequate representation is available.

Further, if some reason you do go to the meeting alone I would not sign anything until you've had an opportunity to discuss the terms with your union.

zjw

I dont have any good advice. I dont know much about unions. if its an option that they can help protect you i'd say get them involved. I guess its good fro you to be proactive about this stuation but dont let it get the best of you its not till tuesday anyhow try and enjoy today etc.. dont be driven yourself bazerk about this now. Do what you can now about it then leave it alone till tuesday.

If i where in your shoes I'd probably worry myself crazy too tho lol. But i'd also work hard to try and put it out of my head. Come tuesday if its inconsiderate folks I'd just say i'm having some personal issues and leave it at that. IF they wanted me to sign something it would depend on the nature of what it was they wanted me to sign. I'd imagine anything you agree to sign is for there benefit not yours. So keep that in mind. Hence I'd be more inclined to not sign anything maybe use an excuse like Ok I need to think this over to buy some time or blow it off. Or just say no sorry I cant sign this. Blame your personal issues.

I would imagine useing the personal issues excuse could buy you some more time to clean up your act and get some more paychecks till you figure out a better solution. if anything it gets you some time.