daveycrockett

I post here once in a while. Usually when I need support. I hope to someday be able to give support back to this community. A couple months ago I quit drinking, and Zoloft, and cut down on Valium. But now I am drinking again. I was drinking a gallon of wine a day, now it is about a quart. Better but still not good.

I actually started working out some even though I deal with severe depression. It's hard for me to take a shower so doing some exercises is an accomplishment.

I am just about out of wine and could use a few things at the market. How do I make myself stay home for the next couple weeks?

I have severe depression and anxiety and I do have enough food to last a month if need be. I know if I leave the house I will stock up on wine and probably some weed.

How do you make it through a torturous day of depression and anxiety without having a drink, especially when you have no support?

kittycat3

Hugs Davey. Have you seen a professional about this?

I know it's hard at first - but the booze is a depressant and only making your depression worse. So step 1 is going to be to cut it out entirely. I apologize if I am telling you something you know but it's essential to overcoming or living with your depression.

endlesspatience

I am sorry to hear about your pain. You're situation is difficult. I think it may help to look at things differently.

Firstly, you are not faced with a choice between staying at home for a month and getting drunk on wine or taking drugs. Most people, including those of us in recovery, find a way of getting through day to day tasks like shopping without caving in to our addictive urges.

Secondly you say you have no support. This could be about to change. By posting here, you have become part of s supportive community, as you acknowledge in your first line.

Take some time to really get to know the site and you'll see lots of us have been through what you face but made some positive changes. We also sought support in other ways, especially through 12 step programmes and so on.

So we're here for you. Wishing you well.

GracieLou

Instead of staying home have you ever thought of going to an AA meeting?

They saved me from going to the liquor store many times. When I wanted to escape, I went to a meeting. When I was lonely, I went to a meeting. When I was angry, I went to a meeting.

daveycrockett

I've seen lots of so called professional and I have very little faith in them. I'm fed up with seeing these professionals and the only answer is more drugs.

daveycrockett

I also have social anxiety and do not like groups of people. I have been in programs for depression and anxiety and the group meetings are torturous to me to the point that I have just walked out of them.

Soberwolf

Daveycrockett have you considered or tried CBT

Drugs & alcohol isnt the answer you know that

You have our support 24/7 use it my friend

zjw

when i sobered up I didnt realize how depressed i was. I just figured i had really bad anxiety. When i took a supplement for depression and it fixed my anxiety i realized gee i must be depressed too.

I got through it grinning and bearing it. I white knuckled it. many days all i could do was breathe. I tried desperately to find something positive to focus on even if it was jut a pretty cloud or the fact that the sun bothered to come up that day. In time I tried to find more somethings positive i tried to find good things about my life and focus on them even tho i felt i was doing nothing but fooling myself and lieing to mysefl and that my reality was really crap and i was just trying to trick my mind I'd think.

But over time this negative depressed slob started to get happier. I'm still a negative person by nature it takes work for me to find something positive. But i'm no longer living in a pit of despair etc..

I had to keep busy with anything. I had to go for walks outside or just be in the sunlight. I had to step out of my comfort zone even tho it seemed so horrible and was really. I had to be accepting of how things where and I had to learn to let go of stuff i could do nothing about and let it all go to S*** if thats what it took to free my mind form the worry and depression etc... I had to tackle the problems I could as i could I had to accept the fact that sometimes my best is not good enough but its my best and thats all that really matters.

Each day i did this stuff thinking i might be wasting my time but eventually I realized I hadnt and i was no longer in the pit.

Notimetoloose

I pretty much stayed home the first month of sobriety....it wasn't my plan it just happened like that....I was freaked out, kinda paranoid and withdrawing and determined to stay quit...I was just out there, detached, vague.
I also had the strong feeling of responsibility for the mess I was in. I just figured that I had made this mess of myself and it was up to me to fix it... however long that takes.
I did a lot of reading and watching stuff about addiction, docos, interventions, movies and educational stuff....found SR ....it was good because I had trouble focusing and I could relate or not to those struggling....but i was not alone.
The next month I went to different meetings, a few SMART, AA...learnt about AVRT.
Take care.

Dee74

I felt like that too - and my addiction loved it cos it meant no change and more drinking/drugs.

If everything else really is too hard, commit to posting here everyday - and not just when you're in trouble.

Post to others too - you don't need to be an expert or have all the answers to just listen to someone else.

Just coming here to SR helped me turn my life around - if you really want to stop drinking, I know SR can help you too

D

OklaBH

I had to get involved with AA and do step work. It saved my life. Alone in my head was a big and scary place. I was depressed and anxious. I couldnt bear to think of the wreckage and destruction I HAD CAUSED. Stay close to here. Goto a meeting and get some face to face time. It will all be ok and worth it

IOAA2

I totally disagree. At certain times in life we need to follow some positive directions.

Go to meetingS, even if we don’t want to.

BE WELL

markz

I find the best way to stay sober is to not drink, no matter what.
However just putting down the bottle is not enough, this has been proven countless times.

biminiblue

How I made it through the first month:

Get up, take a shower, make the bed and get dressed and get out of the house every day - even if it's to go to the thrift store or to take a walk.

Eat regular healthy meals.

Sleep as much as possible.

Get some face-to-face time with someone - friend, family, AA, therapy, clergy, support group.

Watch happy movies.

Go on SoberRecovery and post, join the thread for the "Class of (mine was March)"

Read recovery materials.

Take a multi vitamin.

Go easy on the caffeine. Have a couple pieces of dark chocolate.

Exercise. It helps mood tremendously.


Repeat^^ Daily.

Gottalife

I recently had the privilege of working with a woman in similar circumstances. Through her alcoholism and an accident she doesn't remember, she ended up with a serious addiction to prescribed medication. I recal a couple of rehab doctors referred to these pills as solid alcohol, or an alcohol substitute.

Nothing got better while trying to find a solution, solid or liquid, in a bottle.

This woman was withdrawing from benzos and painkillers. Benzo withdrawal is a long process apparently, and just as dangerous as alcohol withdrawal. Her doctor had assigned a specialist detox nurse to visit her daily and manage the withdrawal process. At their first meeting, at which I was present , the nurse explained how the process works. One thing she emphasised several times was that the drugs don't work. They are taken with the idea of feeling better, but the result is anxiety, fear, etc etc. if she keeps taking them, she will feel the same or worse in the future than she does now.

She was without doubt suffering huge anxiety. So we didn't cart her off to a meeting, she would not have been able to go, but we didn't leave her on her own either. Instead, a number of AAs visted and sat with her. Two of the women spent hours just unknotting her hair. After about a week, she was ready to try a meeting. I took her to the first and we had a pre arranged signal she would give if she wanted to leave. She was to cross one arm across her chest. As it turns out, she did it about 20 minutes after the end of the meeting. At that meeting she made a good friend who takes her to other meetings. One of the women who helped with her hair, and sat with her during the early part of withdrawal, is now her sponsor. The AAs helped clean up her flat and cooked her a few meals.

She is making great progress in her benzo withdrawal, and is nearly back to her ideal weight. She was 30 lbs underweight. I shouldn't forget to mention she also had a fantastic neighbour who helped manage her medication before the detox nurse came on the scene.

It was a grea team effort. The community, AA and the medical professionals were together able to work wonders. But there was one other essential ingredient. The women herself was absolutely willing, and desperate to recover. She was a delight to work with and did everything she could to help herself within the limits of her crippling anxiety. Without that willingness, nothing much would have been accomplished.