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Looking for some guidance

Old 02-12-2015, 08:13 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
zjw
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Originally Posted by DaveAnomie View Post
I'll pick up the big book. Did some reading last night on AVRT. Really like the ideas there. Want to get as many ideas as I can and find what works for me. Today I just got up, and hit the gym. Have the whole day planned out, including getting up and hitting the gym again in the morning. No doubt in my mind I'll get that far 😄
I did a lot in the beginning. some stuff works some stuff doesn't some stuff just kept me busy. I don't regret trying any of it however everything helped pass the time and got me more sober days etc...
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Old 02-12-2015, 08:33 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Daveanomie

Our disease wants us to take the easier, softer way.
Whatever is keeping you from AA meetings, I would ask God (even if you don't believe in one) to help you face those fears - and go. If you can walk through that fear, and keep seeking out a Solution in AA, you cannot fail.

I like meetings where people talk about the Solution and how they're actually doing it. If you're anything like me, you don't have time to waste.

Courage, my friend.
Those fears are only false anyway, even if they seem real.
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Old 02-13-2015, 05:51 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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It's not fear that is keeping me from meetings. I'm not afraid of confronting my issues. For various reasons, I don't want to be seen confronting these issues in a local, public forum. As a matter of fact, much of the reading I'm doing that makes sense to me demonstrates that going to meetings, and the idea of being in constant "recovery" actually perpetuates an addiction. As if we are just waiting for the inevitable relapse, which ironically is part of recovery.

I did go to a work meeting last night, rife with alcohol to our eyeballs. While everyone ate and drank merrily, I abstained and enjoyed my water. When asked why I wasn't drinking, I said I was on a low carb diet (which is actually true) and instead of being ostracized, a few people that are trying to lose weight seemed both impressed in my self control, and a little self concious of their own decisions. I'm not saying any of this is the answer, but I rolled the dice on a way of approaching my problem, and it worked out well!
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Old 02-13-2015, 07:10 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by DaveAnomie View Post
...much of the reading I'm doing that makes sense to me demonstrates that going to meetings, and the idea of being in constant "recovery" actually perpetuates an addiction.
By meetings I'm assuming you are referring to AA. There is nothing, and I mean nothing, about the AA program that suggests a permanent state of recovering. The BB uses the word 'recovered' repeatedly. Since I took the 12 Steps, I've never had to make the decision of whether or not I was going to pick up a drink. RR and AA have that in common, not in contrast.
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Old 02-13-2015, 08:04 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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My question is, is there someone on this site that can be a sponsor, or mentor to people like me to see me through this?

Has anyone PMd you yet? There was no internet for getting sober when I did. Meetings were all there were so I found my sponsor at one of those. I think face-to-face makes it easier as you can see age, expressions, etc. My sponsor was there to help me through the Steps when I needed it or sage life advice when I needed that. She was not a micro-manager type of sponsor who believed that God would direct me as long as I stayed in contact with Him... ie: stressing the spiritual message in the Steps.... which suited me best. For me, during the ensuing years, I found that it was working the 12 Steps of AA and daily contact with God (my higher-power) that helped me the most. Meetings were good for other things, like fellowship and keeping up with a healthy activity in the early days, but it was the Steps that, in my opinion got me and kept me sober. Later, meetings were good to pass it on with 12th Step activity but there are many ways to do with without attending meetings. The ways are pretty endless actually.

Since we can't see each other nor hear each other talk like we can at a meeting, its a pretty daunting task to seek out the posts of individuals trying to get a handle on "who" they are and if that would be a good fit for us which, in my opinion, is critical as a degree of bonding is best when facing some of our early resistance to various suggestions. Its also hard for a potential sponsor for the same reasons. May I suggest you give a bit more information about yourself... as much as possible without breaking your anonymity... for instance, would you say you're a spiritual type, general age group, etc? You might want to talk about your join date here too. If you do decide, at some time, to check out a meeting, I would suggest closed ones, Step or Big Book ones. I understand your apprehension... I think... though it is an anonymous program, there's no guarantee all individuals attending will keep it that way.

Best to you and congratulations!
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Old 02-13-2015, 08:04 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
zjw
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Originally Posted by keithj View Post
By meetings I'm assuming you are referring to AA. There is nothing, and I mean nothing, about the AA program that suggests a permanent state of recovering. The BB uses the word 'recovered' repeatedly. Since I took the 12 Steps, I've never had to make the decision of whether or not I was going to pick up a drink. RR and AA have that in common, not in contrast.
I dunno one min i'd say i've recovered another I might say I'm recovering. 99% of the time I have 0 desire to drink even when bad times come. But then this morning with a bit of anxiety going on I thought maybe a 2 week bender is what i need? Yes the thought crossed my mind. I thought nah thats a terrible idea but it might give me some relief? I started thinking about it some even I knwo full well its a bad idea and I wont do it. But its at a time like that that i might say I'm a recovering alcoholic. Other times when all is fine and its the last thing on my mind that i'd want or whatever I'd say I've recovered.

If what you saying is I could hit a point where I'd never even contimplate it even slightly then I cant wait till I hit that point. Sure its rare and not often it crosses my mind but it does I wont lie.
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Old 02-13-2015, 08:39 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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zfw,
Happened for me right around the 9th Step, which makes a bit of sense when I look at the 10th Step promises that describe that 'recovered' state.
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Old 02-13-2015, 05:49 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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The Power needed to recover is between physical, emotional and spiritual contact. Getting face-to-face experience was essential for me both with others like myself and with a sponsor.

Many alcoholics are afraid to go to meetings although we won't admit it because of our bravado

The fear usually centers around what others think of us (either in or out of AA). Yet millions of people before me were afraid as I was and went anyway.

They were afraid and had no car so they took the bus. They were afraid and had positions in the community and young children and mouths to feed. But anytime we do God's will He will protect us in ways we usually cannot foresee.
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