Kisses

Part of the reason I believe I began drinking was because I got divorced from a man who didn5 socalize much outside if the farm. After many years of living somewhat secluded, I had to move to town. Then, I later began dating and was very anxious about the socializing so I found that having a few drinks beforehand made me ease up.

Well, over the course of 8 years of drinking, it became very problematic to the point it has ruined many excellent potential relationships. And finally, legal problems, then isolation.

I now date a gentleman in law enforcement who appreciates taking me out to socialize. My hands are sweaty just thinking about it!

Any suggestions on how to cope with the scenerio?

TigerLili

Practice. You don't have to be the life of the party. Have a few small talk conversation starters ready. Let other people talk and shine while you be a good listener.

Work out what specifically troubles you and come up with specific strategies to deal with it.

Tang

I'm a terrible introvert. I would second the comment that it gets easier with time. You may never become the life of the party, but that's ok. If your new friend likes you he'll appreciate you for your beautiful quietness.

SoberLeigh

Welcome to SR, Kisses.

Great suggestions from TigerLili and Tang.

doggonecarl

If you are in the early days of sobriety, I would caution you to avoid those things that prompt thoughts of drinking. They are called triggers. If socializing triggers you, you don't socialize...not yet. Not until you have a firm footing of recovery.

Does your gentleman friend know of your anxiety issues? Your drinking and decision to stop? I can understand the hesitancy to tell him, if that's the case. But the important thing is your recovery and doing whatever is necessary to support that, even to the exclusion of a social life.

Soberwolf

Welcome Kisses nice to meet you

Kisses

Thank you all so much! I did break down and tell him what I am doing. I had declined his dinner offers for days saying I was sick. Which I certainly have been. He wanted to bring me whatever I needed and I finally came clean. I think he understands but wishes to help. I explained that what I am doing is not fun or pretty and I was not up for company. Maybe he didn't realize how bad my drinking was? I have known him for years and I've yet to see any signs of him losing control to anything.

AF4good

I'm diagnosed with social anxiety. Im prescribed Propranolol. Works for me.

Kisses

See, medical insurance is another issue I have. I work for cash and have no dependents so I don't think I qualify for any aid. I haven't done my taxes in a number if years. I have a criminal record and that adds to finding and keeping a job. I literally cannot work in a public setting my anxiety is so high. I often go round and round in circles, not knowing where to start. It feels more like I've been running around like a mad woman putting out fires...I did finally get my license back. I have many issues I believe qualify my for disability although I hate that. But, they denied me many times and I was in rehab then homeless bouncing around and getting into trouble. It's hard to imagine sometimes that I was a middle class woman just 8-10 years ago. I hate medications but I know at times I really need it. So many hoops to jumo through it will make a person crazy if you weren't already. I have no help or family to lean on period. Sorry for my rant.

SoberCAH

It took me a little while to be comfortable socially.

Now, I am comfortable in almost any situation.

I would recommend taking small steps toward socialization.

My wife is gregarious and is completely confounded by time with herself.

I, however, am completely comfortable spending the evening with a book and copious amounts of diet cream soda and root beer.

miko67

I have social anxiety too. I can burn up go red and sweat all in the one go. It's getting better coming up for two years sober it has cleared up a great deal. I'm just digging to get to the root cause.