I'm a sponsor who "relapsed"? Slipped?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Urbana, OH
Posts: 3
I'm a sponsor who "relapsed"? Slipped?
I had 2 1/2 years and was sponsoring several ladies. I work an NA program because pain killers were my drug of choice but I also work AA because that's the dominant fellowship in my area. I've had many back surgeries, my 2nd really major one Nov 11, 2014. I wasn't coping with the pain well and for a week I didn't let anyone monitor and dispense my meds like I had been. I took more than was prescribed because my tolerance is so damn high that the doctors couldn't prescribe enough. I got so sick of being in so much pain I was constantly on the verge of vomitting. So like I said, I took what I needed to get some relief. When I told my sponsor about it, she said I needed to resign from any servicde positions and I needed to send my sponsees to someone else so I could go back to step one and start all over. I prayerfully considered and decided to tell my sponsees what happened and let them decide, which my sponsor agreed to. One of my girls told me today that she needed someone more available because I have not been with her much since my surgery. Then she informed me that there was talk about me in our area- which I suspected. I don't know what is to be expected.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,347
Hi MissNiki 
You posted in our Stories of Recovery forum which is specifically for stories of recovery of one year or more, and which does not allow for feedback.
You'll find more response here
Dee
Moderator
SR
You posted in our Stories of Recovery forum which is specifically for stories of recovery of one year or more, and which does not allow for feedback.
You'll find more response here
Dee
Moderator
SR
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by MissNiki623 
I had 2 1/2 years and was sponsoring several ladies. I work an NA program because pain killers were my drug of choice but I also work AA because that's the dominant fellowship in my area. I've had many back surgeries, my 2nd really major one Nov 11, 2014. I wasn't coping with the pain well and for a week I didn't let anyone monitor and dispense my meds like I had been. I took more than was prescribed because my tolerance is so damn high that the doctors couldn't prescribe enough. I got so sick of being in so much pain I was constantly on the verge of vomitting. So like I said, I took what I needed to get some relief. When I told my sponsor about it, she said I needed to resign from any servicde positions and I needed to send my sponsees to someone else so I could go back to step one and start all over. I prayerfully considered and decided to tell my sponsees what happened and let them decide, which my sponsor agreed to. One of my girls told me today that she needed someone more available because I have not been with her much since my surgery. Then she informed me that there was talk about me in our area- which I suspected. I don't know what is to be expected.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Central Massachusetts
Posts: 2,051
Maybe if your sponsor had your physical pain she wouldn't be dispensing such advice. This is one of the major reasons I go to maybe 1/2 a meeting a month nowadays.
I hope you feel better soon. Best of luck.
I hope you feel better soon. Best of luck.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Chattanooga TN
Posts: 596
If you took medicine, and didn't abuse it I see no reason for you being questioned. However since it was your drug of choice I can see why some may be skeptical. If it is the former and not the latter it is time for you to seek a different group of council. I am an alcoholic and if I get the flu I am damn sure drinking theraflu or nyquil to ease my suffering. If my support group thinks I am relapsing, well only I know that for sure.
If they are my friends they will know the answer too, because they will talk to me about it.
If they are my friends they will know the answer too, because they will talk to me about it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
I don't think i would have appreciation for my sponsor if he told me what I needed to do.
I had a very serious back surgery myself. Quite a few different meds were prescribed as I think my doctor knew I'd prolly try and get out and fire up the chainsaw or something after a couple days.
Anyways, there was a tie in there the pain had me in tears. Called my sponsor. He said," Tom, I've never had back surgery and I'm not your doctor so I don't know what's goo for you there. Call yer doctor."
And there were quite a few people that let their egos fly with their opinions about me taking pains meds for something they have no clue about showing their ignorance.
What's to be expected. Depends. If yer referring to what others expect, it's not their problem and thir expectations aren't your problem.
Question- what was the motive again for taking the extra meds? To get Out of the misery of life or to relieve miserable physical pain?
I had a very serious back surgery myself. Quite a few different meds were prescribed as I think my doctor knew I'd prolly try and get out and fire up the chainsaw or something after a couple days.
Anyways, there was a tie in there the pain had me in tears. Called my sponsor. He said," Tom, I've never had back surgery and I'm not your doctor so I don't know what's goo for you there. Call yer doctor."
And there were quite a few people that let their egos fly with their opinions about me taking pains meds for something they have no clue about showing their ignorance.
What's to be expected. Depends. If yer referring to what others expect, it's not their problem and thir expectations aren't your problem.
Question- what was the motive again for taking the extra meds? To get Out of the misery of life or to relieve miserable physical pain?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
(more than prescribed) - usually means relapse ??
Originally Posted by MissNiki623
I took more than was prescribed
Originally Posted by Ken33xx
Ultimately only you can decide if you slipped.
but -- the facts are that
sometimes we are fooling ourselves
seems that once we take (more than prescribed)
we would not be clean and sober
many years ago now with two weeks short of three years clean and sober
I had some terrible stomach pains
the doctor prescribed pain meds
the first night I took more than prescribed
I knew in my heart and mind that I had lost my sobriety
in short time I also drank with the liquid devil
fell short of receiving my 3 year token
a fool is one who fools themself
MM
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by Mountainmanbob
Well -- that sure does sound good
but -- the facts are that
sometimes we are fooling ourselves
seems that once we take (more than prescribed)
we would not be clean and sober
many years ago now with two weeks short of three years clean and sober
I had some terrible stomach pains
the doctor prescribed pain meds
the first night I took more than prescribed
I knew in my heart and mind that I had lost my sobriety
in short time I also drank with the liquid devil
fell short of receiving my 3 year token
a fool is one who fools themself
MM
but -- the facts are that
sometimes we are fooling ourselves
seems that once we take (more than prescribed)
we would not be clean and sober
many years ago now with two weeks short of three years clean and sober
I had some terrible stomach pains
the doctor prescribed pain meds
the first night I took more than prescribed
I knew in my heart and mind that I had lost my sobriety
in short time I also drank with the liquid devil
fell short of receiving my 3 year token
a fool is one who fools themself
MM
If a member is going to lie to themselves or to the group there's nothing I can do.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by Ken33xx
If a member is going to lie to themselves or to the group there's nothing I can do.
but, I would never wish to help another so as to
deceive themselves yet again
seems self deception has brought us much trouble in the past ?
MM
Marchia in Aeternum
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,094
First, I'm not in any way giving permission here. Everyone's pain level is different. Had you discussed this with your doctor, they may have prescribed more. As long as you can stop, I see no problem. Only you can decide if you can stop.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Central Massachusetts
Posts: 2,051
Originally Posted by trachemys
First, I'm not in any way giving permission here. Everyone's pain level is different. Had you discussed this with your doctor, they may have prescribed more. As long as you can stop, I see no problem. Only you can decide if you can stop.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by MissNiki623
I had 2 1/2 years and was sponsoring several ladies. I work an NA program because pain killers were my drug of choice but I also work AA because that's the dominant fellowship in my area. I've had many back surgeries, my 2nd really major one Nov 11, 2014. I wasn't coping with the pain well and for a week I didn't let anyone monitor and dispense my meds like I had been. I took more than was prescribed because my tolerance is so damn high that the doctors couldn't prescribe enough. I got so sick of being in so much pain I was constantly on the verge of vomitting. So like I said, I took what I needed to get some relief. When I told my sponsor about it, she said I needed to resign from any servicde positions and I needed to send my sponsees to someone else so I could go back to step one and start all over. I prayerfully considered and decided to tell my sponsees what happened and let them decide, which my sponsor agreed to. One of my girls told me today that she needed someone more available because I have not been with her much since my surgery. Then she informed me that there was talk about me in our area- which I suspected. I don't know what is to be expected.
No one can judge that except for you and your HP. You know the answer.
Anecdotally, I am wondering if perhaps you should consider a 4th step? Are you resentful about 'there's been talk about me?" Sound like maybe there's something there to consider. "I don't know what is to be expected?"
Well, what are your expectations towards others and yourself?
I know for me I projected a lot of chatter in my brain about what other thought about me. It really drilled down to being comfortable in my own skin as we all have learned and you already know I am sure.
I hope your back is getting better and you come to grips with whatever you feel you should work on. 2 1/2 years is amazing!!! Don't let this hiccup stop you, grow from it
I would keep working with you, for what it's worth.......Sounds like you were attempting to be rigorously honest!Kind Regards,
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
I'd be p'd off if those I trusted and respected were judging me unfairly because of their own ignorance and insecurity too. Not acceptable or excusable. This is their problem, not yours. This is a medical issue, not an addiction issue.
Stay close to medical advice and work with your doctor.
Stay close to medical advice and work with your doctor.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
I've had two total hip replacements within the past two years, nine months apart. I was sober for each procedure, but like a good alcoholic, I waited until the pain was unbearable and until I had serious problems just sitting down, to say nothing of walking. This despite friends who had the same surgery advising me that I would hate myself for waiting so long. (As a side note, I quickly experienced full range of motion, and resumed intensive training in martial arts and began cycling between sixty and ninety minutes each day/night, five to six times each week. My only regret is that, as my friends suggested, I didn't get the work done sooner.)
That aside, I was pumped with major painkillers while in the hospital, and then again during an unnecessary two weeks in a rehab facility. When I was discharged from the rehab, a prescribing nurse asked me about getting a script to take home with me. I was in no pain, and have never been addicted to painkillers, so I told her that it wouldn't be necessary. She was beaming after my response, and complimented me on my declining the painkillers. Big mistake. I experienced intermittent pain that didn't respond fully to mega-doses of Ibuprofen, and I suffered horrible withdrawal symptoms for several days. I looked up the drug, and the warnings explicitly stated that under no conditions should a person stop taking the meds abruptly. I immediately thought that the nurse was incompetent and that I was remiss in not asking her the right questions about the meds.
The withdrawals came and went, and I moved on with my life.
Going into the second surgery (again, nine months later), I was now better informed about how to manage my meds, and had learned that I didn't need a formal rehab. (My surgeon uses a procedure that hasn't quite caught on yet in the States...There's less moving and cutting of the muscles, less bleeding, less pain, and therefore a shorter rehab.) Pumped up with painkillers again in the hospital, I declined inpatient rehab, but this time took the script home with me. The prescribing nurse strongly suggested that I take the pills with me and that I follow her instructions around weaning off the meds.
Early on in the weaning process, I started to feel high after taking my pills, and assumed that meant my pain had at least partially subsided. Having gone through withdrawals following my previous surgery, I had no conflict with continuing to wean off the meds as the nurse instructed. The high lasted until I finished my meds. I didn't go through withdrawals beyond a bit of fogginess, I didn't have cravings for more pills, and I had no plans to get another script.
Was this a relapse on my part because I enjoyed the high while weaning off my meds? Was it a relapse on your part because you also (may have) enjoyed the high of your prescribed meds which provided pain relief, and because you also used painkillers in the past in order to self-medicate?
Maybe I was just lucky, but I also was very much aware of why I was taking the meds, what effect they might have on me, and that I would reach out for support if I thought that any of this became a problem. When I was going through withdrawals following my first surgery, this is exactly what I did. I spoke frequently with two sober friends, and it made my withdrawals at least a bit more tolerable. My sober friends knew about my surgeries and were always available to help when I needed them.
For me, a relapse is more about the person's intention than the effect of the drug. Though I looked forward to the high that came with taking my meds while I was weaning off them, I didn't regret not having more drugs when the process was over.
That aside, I was pumped with major painkillers while in the hospital, and then again during an unnecessary two weeks in a rehab facility. When I was discharged from the rehab, a prescribing nurse asked me about getting a script to take home with me. I was in no pain, and have never been addicted to painkillers, so I told her that it wouldn't be necessary. She was beaming after my response, and complimented me on my declining the painkillers. Big mistake. I experienced intermittent pain that didn't respond fully to mega-doses of Ibuprofen, and I suffered horrible withdrawal symptoms for several days. I looked up the drug, and the warnings explicitly stated that under no conditions should a person stop taking the meds abruptly. I immediately thought that the nurse was incompetent and that I was remiss in not asking her the right questions about the meds.
The withdrawals came and went, and I moved on with my life.
Going into the second surgery (again, nine months later), I was now better informed about how to manage my meds, and had learned that I didn't need a formal rehab. (My surgeon uses a procedure that hasn't quite caught on yet in the States...There's less moving and cutting of the muscles, less bleeding, less pain, and therefore a shorter rehab.) Pumped up with painkillers again in the hospital, I declined inpatient rehab, but this time took the script home with me. The prescribing nurse strongly suggested that I take the pills with me and that I follow her instructions around weaning off the meds.
Early on in the weaning process, I started to feel high after taking my pills, and assumed that meant my pain had at least partially subsided. Having gone through withdrawals following my previous surgery, I had no conflict with continuing to wean off the meds as the nurse instructed. The high lasted until I finished my meds. I didn't go through withdrawals beyond a bit of fogginess, I didn't have cravings for more pills, and I had no plans to get another script.
Was this a relapse on my part because I enjoyed the high while weaning off my meds? Was it a relapse on your part because you also (may have) enjoyed the high of your prescribed meds which provided pain relief, and because you also used painkillers in the past in order to self-medicate?
Maybe I was just lucky, but I also was very much aware of why I was taking the meds, what effect they might have on me, and that I would reach out for support if I thought that any of this became a problem. When I was going through withdrawals following my first surgery, this is exactly what I did. I spoke frequently with two sober friends, and it made my withdrawals at least a bit more tolerable. My sober friends knew about my surgeries and were always available to help when I needed them.
For me, a relapse is more about the person's intention than the effect of the drug. Though I looked forward to the high that came with taking my meds while I was weaning off them, I didn't regret not having more drugs when the process was over.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Central Massachusetts
Posts: 2,051
Originally Posted by Flynbuy
Anecdotally, I am wondering if perhaps you should consider a 4th step? Are you resentful about 'there's been talk about me?" Sound like maybe there's something there to consider. "I don't know what is to be expected?" Well, what are your expectations towards others and yourself?
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