uncle holmes

I'm not nearly as anonymous about being a recovering alcoholic as I used to be. But I'm still hesitant at times to be open about it outside of AA.

I've found at work if I'm at a job long enough and get to know the people, which is currently the case, I eventually slip it out that I'm an alcoholic to some people. And I'm sure some of these people end up telling others that they know I'm an alcoholic.

The big reason I feel somewhat comfortable is I've been sober quite a few years. But I feel sometimes it could be a risk if they wanted to use that against me, especially if things ever got ugly or got competitive for a position.

Neighbors or friends outside of AA and work I usually don't mention it. But if I get to know them well enough I mention that I used to be a big drinker and decided to give it up, sometimes mentioning AA.

I'm just wondering how others handle their anonymity.

Anna

Personally, I never tell co-workers that I'm an alcoholic, ever. There is too much potential for that information to be used against you. If you're sick for a day or two, come in late, mess up a job - alcoholism could be put into the mix. It's not worth the risk in my opinion.

tealfox

Kudos to you!! i am now trying to learn all this.

48heath

I never tell anyone I meet I am a recovering alcoholic.

I have known people who have not remained anonymous in the workplace and it has gone against them.

Wholesome

I've been quite private in mine except for my inner circle. I don't feel like it's anyone else's business. I'm not ashamed or anything but I don't think it's something I need to share with anyone who's not close to me. I used to think that I was hiding my drinking quite well but I know think that was a delusion. It feels good to be able to go out into the community without fear of being found out.

awuh1

I don't worry too much about it. I tend disclose when it serves a purpose, and that purpose typically has to do with the welfare of someone else, not my own.

I tend to think of it like this. What's more important, that I run the risk of being judged inappropriately or that someone continues to suffer (and quite possibly hurts themselves or someone else) because I was unwilling to help guide them toward resources that might have prevented prevent that?

It's a no brainer for me.

You might also be interested in the documentary "The Anonymous People". There are some interesting points made about the issue of silence vs. openness in regard to our condition.

Alwyshope12

Thirty percent of americas have almost zero drinks a year. I can always tell people I need to drive somewhere and cant drink, or I have to go to the gym, or I just am not in the mood.

I almost never get pushback.

Mikie9

My answer... "Thanks, but I don't drink."

No reason to explain further. It's none of their business, and they truly don't want to hear anymore if they drink at all. The non alcoholics don't bat an eye, the alcoholics leave me alone. Now I meet real friends. They don't need to know I am a recovering alcoholic unless we get intimate. And the longer I go without drinking, the less that even matters.

gaffo

I don't mind telling people. It's who I am. I'm also an ex smoker. I'm strong!

MelindaFlowers

I would never tell people at work, ever. How would that benefit them or myself? It could open up a nightmare of gossip and discrimination.

When I'm sober, drinking has nothing to do with my life or work. That's one of the reasons I stopped.

Don't tell a soul. I will ask again: how would that information benefit anyone?

MelindaFlowers

One other thing: health issues are private. In fact, health privacy is so important the government created HIPAA laws for this very reason. Otherwise employers would probably fire cancer patients, recovering alcoholics, pregnant women, etc. Or at least wouldn't hire them. Of course not all employers are sociopaths, but you never know. Some businesses can be pretty ruthless. These are reasons unions are needed to protect workers. Keep it private at work.

Soberwolf

This

markz

You can hide very easily.
How bad do you want sobriety?

If you fall and end up in hospital, who will know, who will visit.

Sure you can hide. Many do. And they drink!

ubntubnt

I would never tell anyone at work in any circumstances. I used to drink but I quit. I wanted to get healthier, go to the gym, quit smoking, quit drinking. Mid life crisis. It was that or a mistress or a porsche. That was the cheapest of the 3.

After I have quit for a couple of years I might let it slip to close friends (never work colleagues) that I am an alcoholic dry for a couple of years. Its not relevant to anything or anyone by then and would allow me to talk a little more openly about it if I choose.

MattyBoy

I generally tell people that im allergic to alcohol and get really bad heart palpitations when I drink (which isn't actually a lie). Those closest to me know the truth but as others have said, I wouldn't let it slip to work colleagues. Unfortunately, a lot of people don't understand alcoholism and may subtly treat you in a different way if they find out.

Aellyce

I only told about my alcoholism and recovery here on SR, in AA meetings, and in a very few personal relationships in my 3D life. I don't usually see a reason why to make it any more public than that, although I think I'm more relaxed about it now than in the beginning. Sometimes I talk with people about addiction in ways that I feel they can figure out I know a thing or two about it from first hand experience, but maybe they don't think that. I've never been questioned about it.

It's the recovery communities and my close intimate relationships where I find it important that people know, nothing else. But I'm no longer paranoid about anyone potentially figuring out I had a drinking problem, because I see it in my past. It can actually even be an extra incentive to keep on track, because I feel that people cannot really accuse me for my past at this point as long as I don't screw up. Luckily I have work where we are evaluated by our work performance, and not much by any personal issues as long as they don't interfere.

If I'm offered alcohol, I generally say "no thanks" or "no thanks, I don't drink".

CousinA

I have my own business and don't generally tell my clients I can help you with what I do and I'm a recovering alcoholic. It really isn't a great marketing strategy. Some of them are restaurants and I'm offered food and drinks. "No thanks I don't drink on the job" or something like that is sufficient. My mom didn't raise a fool and I accept the free food

A couple years ago the VP at one of my major clients who is also a friend, shared about her daughter's problem with alcohol and drugs. I instinctively knew I had to break my anonymity with her and let her know help was available for her and her daughter. That's what we do.

-allan

CousinA

Anonymity inside and outside the rooms are separate issues. Inside, almost everyone knows my last name. You know, Allan who used to live with M... doesn't work in the ER. Also, the police, social workers, EMTs and doctors all knew my last name when I was drinking, so I'm ok with people in AA knowing.

Outside the rooms? It's who needs to know. Can I help someone by breaking my anonymity? Then without a doubt. Close friends? Sure.

-allan

Foolsgold186

I dont shout it from the rooftops but I did choose to tell my work as (with absolutely no negative backlash) if anything I've had nothing but support from them. A few close work colleagues know too and we socialise outwith drinking situations. I'm treated no differently now to how I was then.

I used to hate the word alcoholic and the potential to being defined by it but I really dont care now. I'm strong and sober and if anyone has issues....well tough toffee balls!

natsume

I completely understand that work is its own unique issue for each individual, but I am a little taken aback by the fear here. Isn't part of getting away from our addiction also getting away from fear? Isn't that one of the promises, fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us?

I am not OUT out about it, and indeed, 90% of my coworkers and colleagues do not know. I don't advertise it, but I also don't really care who knows. Some have mentioned being comfortable in sobriety, but I think we need to be careful there. But isn't honesty something we strive for?

I have gotten, innocently, "why don't you drink?" a few times. I say I used to, now I don't, and life is better. Generally, most are happy to respectfully leave it, and there have never been any repercussions. I think it is important to leave the information out there, if anybody asks, because a couple people have said things like "oh, my grandfather was like that too", and at least it is out there that I may be some kind of resource about the issue.