DoloresHaze

After I pretty much hit bottom (several times), I was sober for 21 days. I felt great!!!!

But fot the past month or so, i've relapsed. My relaspe has ranged from taking 1 day off from drinking, to hitting the bottle pretty hard....like shamefully hard. But I think my body was still strong from the 21 sober days and i could easily bounce back in the morning.

But now, I'm back to that "old place." After I drink I get horrible anxiety, I feel generally unwell, light-headed, and most of all, I'm scared out of my mind.

and guess what takes it aaaalllll awaaaayyyyy... drinking. The relief is amazing. Suddenly i'm laughing and smiling. I can eat again after a few shots. It's like "aahh now I can get on with my day."

But I'm not stupid. I know this is stupid behavior. Please tell me this feeling of utter doom and physical discomfort go away! It's so hard to remember feeling good sober, when I feel so horrible right now.

48heath

Yes Dolores it gets better.Stay away from the first drink,do it a day at a time.

The more times you drink the worse the withdrawals will get.So worth sitting with how bad you feel to get some sober time and feel the benefits.

Wishing you well.

doggonecarl

You remember. You said so right here:

What you feel now is the misery that is the cycle of drinking (you will notice I don't say being drunk). The way to feel better is to quit. If you don't remember, take it on faith.

DoloresHaze

What i have to get through my thick skull is,
1. Yes, alcohol feels good and makes it all go away.
2. But, for every minute of peaceful numbness, there're days of misery.

Alwyshope12

DoloresHaze, it does go away, but it takes time. We did not get this way overnight, nor do we recover overnight.

The initial period of sobriety can be tough, but it is like going up a hill. Once you reach the top, it is all so much easier.

For me it is almost 11 weeks and I have days were I feel better and days that are tough. Much of it revolves around how busy I am and how I get involved in my life.

Look up PAWS (post acute Withdrawal syndrome). Once you get the initial period and face the anxious triggers that make you believe that a drink will solve it all, you will feel so much freer and lighter. Being aware of the feeling you may face can help you get through it. No matter what, these feelings can not hurt you, they are just very uncomfortable for a period of time. That uncomfortable feeling does fade, but it takes time. Patience.

You can do this, don't give up hope!

SoberLeigh

Yes, Dolores, it will get better - much, much better.

The 'benefits' of alcohol are fleeting and temporary; its after-effects are brutal.

It sounds like you are fearful of the withdrawals; have you spoken with your doctor; he or she may be able to help you get over the hump.

You can do this, Dolores; you have already proven that. Escape the misery once and for all.

Soberwolf

Hi Dolores it gets a lot better remember all these feelings print out the post to keep so if you get cravings or urges you can read your thread about how bad drinking makes you feel

it gets so much better dolores read this http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html

and remember to reach out were here for you 24h a day

sg1970

It does get better but it will probably take more than 21 days! Like everything else in life we want it NOW!!

I thought I felt great at 21 days but the truth is the first couple of months was an emotional rollercoaster. Hang in there and see how good you feel after several months. It only gets better!

IOAA2

Hi.
“IT” does not get better, we get better BUT not as soon as we want. As said it takes that 4 letter word time.
If it was short term recovery we could not handle that either as we’d be thinking “I can always quite again” and we’d end up dead quicker.

BFTGOG I feel comfortable in my own skin most of the time and wouldn’t trade it for my best day drinking, if there was one.

BE WELL

zjw

that's the real kicker. I was damned if I do damned if I didn't I felt. I had to accept the fact that drinking clearly wasn't the solution. at the time I had 0 idea what the solution was I just new drinking was not it!! So I had to buckle down till I figured it out and accept the fact that me and booze just did not play well together.

it does get better however. I wont lie I do sometimes miss being able to have a few drinks and feel all warm and fuzzy. But I know its never limited to just that. I know its never just a few and I know it always comes at a heavy price I generally could not afford to pay either!

otter

Get off that hamster wheel from hell Dolores! We're here for ya!

MelindaFlowers

Yes, it gets better Dolores. Man I remember curing hangovers with more booze just to feel normal. Gotta break this cycle girl!

I would recommend going to a dr. And getting medication to help with first few days.

Dee74

If it didn't get better none of us would be here Dolores.

Drinking might 'take it aaaalllll awaaaayyyyy' now, but you know as well as I do it's actually adding to the anxiety next time.

The worst thing you can do is find yourself with unbearable anxiety that no amount of drinking will fix.

D

Sudz No More

Time can be your friend or your enemy, it is very much against you in the beginning but after enough time it can become your strength. You just have to hold out long enough to get there. You're not alone, we've all been there so just keep on trying.

tomsteve

Delores, That whole alcohol takes it aaaall awaaaay thing- that ain't nothing but a lie. If it took it all away ya wouldnt be gettin it back!!

Will that feeling go away? If ya keep drinkin, no. It will get worse.

However.....IFya make getting and staying sober your number one priority- not put a dam thing ahead of it, fight the craving, compulsion, and obsession even if that means one minute at a time, and put in the footwork to change, of course everything will get better!

MelindaFlowers

We all know the cycle well. Sick all day with a hangover and thinking alcohol cures it.

This saying helps me:

We were sick because we drank and drank because we were sick.

least

Yes, it gets better. But you've got to stay sober. You can't have "just one". Remember where it always gets you - in that miserable place.

I hope this can be the beginning of your sobriety.

usedtobepretty

Dolores, my heart goes out to you... it may seem daunting to get back on that wagon, but you can do it. Alcohol tells us that it will help us, that it will make our fear and pain go away.... but alcohol is the one pulling the strings and is the one causing the fear, pain and anxiety in the first place... it's a dirty and vicious cycle. We are all here to support one another so if we can lend a helping hand, please reach out!

MIRecovery

If it didn't get a zillion times better I would have drank a long time ago. It is hard at first but each day gets better

Oceanlady

Dolores, one thing that helped me in those early days was defining clearly to myself the reasons I wanted to quite. A major one was that I did not want my young grandchildren to ever see me drunk again. I posted pics of them everywhere. Rational Recovery by Jack Ttimpey became my 2rd bible.
17 months!