Fallen off the wagon
 

I haven't posted here much before. Basically I used to drink a hell of a lot every single night for years and messed up my liver quite badly. I became quite ill from that and it woke me up and I stopped drinking from July 18th until December 10th when I fell off the wagon again. I did get a lot better, lost 5 stone, got fit and healthy, eating right, exercising and my symptoms from my liver problems disappeared.

I thought on my birthday December 10th I could handle a few drinks but it seems I can't. I literally stayed up until the next day still drinking. I've been having blowouts like all through December. Hurt myself very badly New Years Eve because I got so drunk and had another all night drinking session last night.

I've woken up today with bloodshot eyes, my face is looking puffy again, my tingling pins and needles has started back in my legs and hands and I have muscle twitches again. I also feel I look a touch yellow.

I knew I shouldn't be drinking, I only just had a liver ultrasound in December because my liver is still high.

I feel I really have a worse issue than before now because I never used to get so drunk and stay up all night drinking like I am doing now.

I've never been offered any help for my drinking. I just stopped myself and got on with it but I've re lapsed and now I realise I can't control it like I thought I could.

Going to my doctor tomorrow to get checked and stuff. I just needed some support from people here.

Never give up Chigirl!!

You can turn this around and write a new chapter, I really needed though to accept my problem wan't the volume of drinking I did, it was that 1st drink, that opened the flood gates, so I needed to not have that 1st drink to make it work!!

You can do this!! :)

You can do this! We don't "fall".... we jump. :)

Don't give in Chigrilxx . . . you can do it. This forum is full of people like you (and me) who have struggled with their alcoholism.

I am also battling liver (and stomach problems). For years I would quit drinking, and the day I felt better I would start drinking again . . . I'd always say to myself that I'd just drink that one day, and then stay sober for the rest of the week. Of course I'd keep drinking day after day after day.

Anyway, the point is you are not alone. We are all here because we have struggled with sobriety. Those who are successful muster the strength to get back up when they fall down.

Please don't beat yourself up over relapsing. Just get back up and start again.

Chigirl, it sounds like you accomplished so much! Losing weight and quitting drinking are tremendous feats! You can still do it. Just get back on the right track. it sounds like you identified the problem, having no support and doing it on your own. Maybe AA or an in person support group is a good idea? Someone you can talk to when you think it would be ok to drink again. We are all rooting for you.

Thanks. Yeah that's it one drink and I just don't stop. I thought I would be ok and just have a few socially at christmas and things but it's just got out of hand. I'm gonna knock it on the head now totally.

Thanks guys. I know I can do it again. I don't want to ruin what I achieved before. I feel better now for getting it out here.

Hi.

Alcoholism, if you have it is a progressive disease, meaning it never gets better only worse. We can recover by not drinking 1, a single, or think we can any drink of alcohol IN ANY KIND OF SAFETY period.

If we stop drinking our alcoholism is arrested, not cured. Each time we might relaps the chances of recovery is reduced and life becomes more miserable.

Your choice.

BE WELL

Chigirl

hay i think most of has fell off the wagon, i know i have.
good idea to go see your doctor. i hope and pray it is all good and you get sober.
i thought i could handle a drink or two when i went on a get away. well i was wrong and pretty much did what you did.
but i am clean and sober now. and i hope you will be too

Chigirl

hay i think most of has fell off the wagon, i know i have.
good idea to go see your doctor. i hope and pray it is all good and you get sober.
i thought i could handle a drink or two when i went on a get away. well i was wrong and pretty much did what you did.
but i am clean and sober now. and i hope you will be too

Thanks. Btw love your dog.

The guy I had recently started seeing has made it clear to me tonight in a very harsh way that he will be getting rid of me if I drink anymore. He doesn't like it at all and isn't very tolerant even though I have tried so hard.

I'm pretty upset and just want a drink o badly but have resisted

yea i can see that a line in the sand type of conversation can get to you. i had a few of them from people. but sounds like he stuck by you and willing to give you another chance.
but if you were to have that drink,,, why would you drink to drown your feelings about what he said?? or just to get drunk?
some how i think you will drink no matter what he said, i know i would drink if not for that, i would find another reason to drink.