When the hangover goes
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 124
When the hangover goes
Hi everyone,
I just wanted to share some of my experience with alcohol troubles. I have this frustrating dilemma. When I am hungover, I feel awful, guilty, full of shame and feel like I never want to drink again, but once the hangover goes, my mind somehow says, I'm ok now! I'm cured ! And it's this crazy cycle, of drinking, hangovers, feeling better and somehow forgetting that I have a problem with the drink.
It's like in a way, I think one of the key reasons I want to quit are the hangovers, but when the hangover goes, then it's harder to keep that feeling of I want to quit, and then ultimately the same thing happens. So it's a continual trap and I suppose a lot of this is my AV speaking, but I hate how once my hangover goes I begin to feel like I am ok, I have no problem etc. even though the binge drinking and hangovers have become habitual.
I suppose also the reason I get hangovers is because I drink way too much in the first place, and can't seem to moderate, so I guess I just need to be honest with myself. But even though I have had so many hangovers, it's like, I somehow forgot what they feel like when I don't have them. Again maybe that's my AV talking, of course I can remember my hangovers. I know I am fooling myself and it's a crazy trap.
It's scary how addiction works though, in that the mind/AV tricks you into thinking you are fine and DONT have a problem when you clearly know you do. It's causing me a lot of pain to have this duality of thought from being hungover and wanting to quit forever to being sober a few days later, feeling better and then fooling myself that I don't have a problem. Can anyone else relate?
I just wanted to share some of my experience with alcohol troubles. I have this frustrating dilemma. When I am hungover, I feel awful, guilty, full of shame and feel like I never want to drink again, but once the hangover goes, my mind somehow says, I'm ok now! I'm cured ! And it's this crazy cycle, of drinking, hangovers, feeling better and somehow forgetting that I have a problem with the drink.
It's like in a way, I think one of the key reasons I want to quit are the hangovers, but when the hangover goes, then it's harder to keep that feeling of I want to quit, and then ultimately the same thing happens. So it's a continual trap and I suppose a lot of this is my AV speaking, but I hate how once my hangover goes I begin to feel like I am ok, I have no problem etc. even though the binge drinking and hangovers have become habitual.
I suppose also the reason I get hangovers is because I drink way too much in the first place, and can't seem to moderate, so I guess I just need to be honest with myself. But even though I have had so many hangovers, it's like, I somehow forgot what they feel like when I don't have them. Again maybe that's my AV talking, of course I can remember my hangovers. I know I am fooling myself and it's a crazy trap.
It's scary how addiction works though, in that the mind/AV tricks you into thinking you are fine and DONT have a problem when you clearly know you do. It's causing me a lot of pain to have this duality of thought from being hungover and wanting to quit forever to being sober a few days later, feeling better and then fooling myself that I don't have a problem. Can anyone else relate?
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Yes, I can relate. Drinking and the subsequent hangovers kept me in a holding pattern for over ten years. Getting out of that cycle was the best decision ever. The most dangerous aspect is the ability to talk ourselves into yet another drink despite endless negative consequences. It never gets any better, and no one ever wishes they'd stopped LATER. I wish I'd stopper earlier.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 124
Originally Posted by SoberJennie 
Yes, I can relate. Drinking and the subsequent hangovers kept me in a holding pattern for over ten years. Getting out of that cycle was the best decision ever. The most dangerous aspect is the ability to talk ourselves into yet another drink despite endless negative consequences. It never gets any better, and no one ever wishes they'd stopped LATER. I wish I'd stopper earlier.
As you say, it is the way we have an ability to talk ourselves in yet another drink which I find really scary. I suppose there are large swathes of the population who probably do drink to excess, wish they could stop, then their hangover goes, and like me they talk themselves into drinking again the time the next weekend comes.
I just need t remember how awful drinking is and I think I am very early in my sobriety, only two days. I need to keep going and I know I can break the habit.
I just hope I can begin to see it more clearly very soon and not have these dangerous thoughts anymore.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
Completely understand.
When I started drinking every night, the process got like torture.
Every morning I thought never again.
Every afternoon, the maybe one or glasses thought process started.
Then on the way home from work, I would stop and buy drink.
Then the same agony would start all over again the next day.
Its no way to live.
The world has more to offer us than this.
You deserve better.
I could barely go a night without a drink.
I aways drank to make hangovers better.
If you are at the stage where you can go a few nights without drink, stop now.
It will be easier.
I think if you have a read of AVRT too, it might make you understand where that voice or thoughts come from that make you think 'I'm fine, I over reacted, I can drink'.
I wish you the best xx
When I started drinking every night, the process got like torture.
Every morning I thought never again.
Every afternoon, the maybe one or glasses thought process started.
Then on the way home from work, I would stop and buy drink.
Then the same agony would start all over again the next day.
Its no way to live.
The world has more to offer us than this.
You deserve better.
I could barely go a night without a drink.
I aways drank to make hangovers better.
If you are at the stage where you can go a few nights without drink, stop now.
It will be easier.
I think if you have a read of AVRT too, it might make you understand where that voice or thoughts come from that make you think 'I'm fine, I over reacted, I can drink'.
I wish you the best xx
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Vermont
Posts: 41
Hey George, I know that feeling all to well. It's very confusing. The physical side of being hungover is bad but the emotional side (shame, etc.) is horrible and seems to make the physical worse.
I know it's confusing to have that (as you so aptly put it) duality of thought, but the trick is to take it one day at a time. Try not to think about forever and see if you can make it through the day. Tell yourself something like "i won't drink today" and maybe it won't feel like something is being taken away from you.
That duality I think comes from our AV trying to protect it's access to booze. You made a big step to acknowledge you're having a problems with drinking. That's a big part of changing. Good luck!
I know it's confusing to have that (as you so aptly put it) duality of thought, but the trick is to take it one day at a time. Try not to think about forever and see if you can make it through the day. Tell yourself something like "i won't drink today" and maybe it won't feel like something is being taken away from you.
That duality I think comes from our AV trying to protect it's access to booze. You made a big step to acknowledge you're having a problems with drinking. That's a big part of changing. Good luck!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,537
Yes, George - I was caught in that trap for decades. So hard to believe I accepted that way of life. We always swear there'll be a different outcome, even though we find out otherwise - over & over again. Glad you are here to talk things over - you're never alone.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 124
Originally Posted by Sasha4
Completely understand.
When I started drinking every night, the process got like torture.
Every morning I thought never again.
Every afternoon, the maybe one or glasses thought process started.
Then on the way home from work, I would stop and buy drink.
Then the same agony would start all over again the next day.
Its no way to live.
The world has more to offer us than this.
You deserve better.
I could barely go a night without a drink.
I aways drank to make hangovers better.
If you are at the stage where you can go a few nights without drink, stop now.
It will be easier.
I think if you have a read of AVRT too, it might make you understand where that voice or thoughts come from that make you think 'I'm fine, I over reacted, I can drink'.
I wish you the best xx
When I started drinking every night, the process got like torture.
Every morning I thought never again.
Every afternoon, the maybe one or glasses thought process started.
Then on the way home from work, I would stop and buy drink.
Then the same agony would start all over again the next day.
Its no way to live.
The world has more to offer us than this.
You deserve better.
I could barely go a night without a drink.
I aways drank to make hangovers better.
If you are at the stage where you can go a few nights without drink, stop now.
It will be easier.
I think if you have a read of AVRT too, it might make you understand where that voice or thoughts come from that make you think 'I'm fine, I over reacted, I can drink'.
I wish you the best xx
I think I just need to break the mental/physical habit of saying yes to a drink. I need to avoid it long enough to get out of the woods and simply break the habit and inability to avoid/say no. I think the first month is going to be the hardest to get through.
I hate the feeling of not being in control, and I hate the feeling that I could give myself another hangover, it's almost as if I am purposely hurting myself.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 124
Originally Posted by Groovitational
Hey George, I know that feeling all to well. It's very confusing. The physical side of being hungover is bad but the emotional side (shame, etc.) is horrible and seems to make the physical worse.
I know it's confusing to have that (as you so aptly put it) duality of thought, but the trick is to take it one day at a time. Try not to think about forever and see if you can make it through the day. Tell yourself something like "i won't drink today" and maybe it won't feel like something is being taken away from you.
That duality I think comes from our AV trying to protect it's access to booze. You made a big step to acknowledge you're having a problems with drinking. That's a big part of changing. Good luck!
I know it's confusing to have that (as you so aptly put it) duality of thought, but the trick is to take it one day at a time. Try not to think about forever and see if you can make it through the day. Tell yourself something like "i won't drink today" and maybe it won't feel like something is being taken away from you.
That duality I think comes from our AV trying to protect it's access to booze. You made a big step to acknowledge you're having a problems with drinking. That's a big part of changing. Good luck!
I think it helps me to also look outside of the hangovers per se and realise that when I drink, I tend to drink the point of losing control, and doing things I regret. The last four nights I have had drinking with friends have included, one night spending 200 pounds in a strip club, the next night getting so drunk and high and staying up all night on a Work night, that I called in sick. The third night, I lent someone money who I shouldn't have, because I was too drunk to use. My better judgement. The fourth night I got kicked out of a nightclub.
It's really like I am Jeckle and Hyde when I drink, and I end up doing unpredictable, often stupid things sometimes when drinking, and recently it has been consistently.
Anyway, I digress.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Once I saw that my life would quite possibly continue indefinitely as a series of meaningless drinking episodes followed by hangover, a brief recovery, and then another binge... it really shook me. It took having another person very close to me telling me I'd probably die this way. That person was my husband. We hadn't been married long when he said that to me. Seeing the desperation in his eyes also shook me. I'm not sure what would've happened had I continued on this way, single, without someone who felt it was his duty to spell things out plainly for me.
Do you see yourself quitting anytime soon? Please get off this endless cycle before it's too late.
Do you see yourself quitting anytime soon? Please get off this endless cycle before it's too late.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 124
Originally Posted by SoberJennie
Once I saw that my life would quite possibly continue indefinitely as a series of meaningless drinking episodes followed by hangover, a brief recovery, and then another binge... it really shook me. It took having another person very close to me telling me I'd probably die this way. That person was my husband. We hadn't been married long when he said that to me. Seeing the desperation in his eyes also shook me. I'm not sure what would've happened had I continued on this way, single, without someone who felt it was his duty to spell things out plainly for me.
Do you see yourself quitting anytime soon? Please get off this endless cycle before it's too late.
Do you see yourself quitting anytime soon? Please get off this endless cycle before it's too late.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Originally Posted by SoberJennie
Yes, I can relate. Drinking and the subsequent hangovers kept me in a holding pattern for over ten years. Getting out of that cycle was the best decision ever. The most dangerous aspect is the ability to talk ourselves into yet another drink despite endless negative consequences. It never gets any better, and no one ever wishes they'd stopped LATER. I wish I'd stopper earlier.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
George, not only can I relate, but I could have written your post. I have been in the exact same cycle for a couple of years now. I get a good chunk of sober time - anywhere from 3 days to 6 weeks- and then I tell myself I'm fine, I forget the hangovers and go for it again. A few days or a week of that and I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. Like you, it's the hangovers- more emotional than physical- that are even worse than the actual drinking. I tell myself that it's sooo much better than daily drinking like I did for years and years...but it's no where near good enough. Sometimes I too think I'm addicted too the cycle of highs and lows now.
I don't have advice, since I think we are pretty much in the same place, but I do believe that it's just a matter of finding the right tools and strategies to get us over those hurdles, those days when the AV is convincing us that THIS time will be different, and actual using them, each and every time, whether we feel like it or not.
I don't have advice, since I think we are pretty much in the same place, but I do believe that it's just a matter of finding the right tools and strategies to get us over those hurdles, those days when the AV is convincing us that THIS time will be different, and actual using them, each and every time, whether we feel like it or not.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 254
Can relate all too well. It's frustrating once 'feeling good again' kicks in. That's the danger zone. That's the time I feel I can run ten miles or clean every square inch of the house and what do you know it's another 'boy a glass of red after all this hard this work would sure be nice'. You'd think the feeling good and forget stage is the time we should pay the most attention.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Streamwood, IL
Posts: 101
I've been stuck in this cycle for years now too. Every single Monday as I somehow get up and get to work on time I tell myself how this isn't happening again. Monday's then tend to be hell on earth as my mind jumps all over the place and bits and pieces of what may or may not have happened the last 72 hours bandy about. I also get nothing accomplished those days as I can't settle down and focus on anything. I get through the day somehow and then drink again that night and "even out." During the week I drink nightly and don't get the hangover that I always have on Monday after the weekend binge. The whole "I never want to feel like this again" has not seeped through yet. While I am in the binge I don't think nor care about the panic and anxiety that is headed my way come Monday morning. It's so maddening to ride this horrible cycle. Good luck mate.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
Originally Posted by Sasha4
Completely understand.
When I started drinking every night, the process got like torture.
Every morning I thought never again.
Every afternoon, the maybe one or glasses thought process started.
Then on the way home from work, I would stop and buy drink.
Then the same agony would start all over again the next day.
Its no way to live.
The world has more to offer us than this.
You deserve better.
I could barely go a night without a drink.
I aways drank to make hangovers better.
If you are at the stage where you can go a few nights without drink, stop now.
It will be easier.
I think if you have a read of AVRT too, it might make you understand where that voice or thoughts come from that make you think 'I'm fine, I over reacted, I can drink'.
I wish you the best xx
When I started drinking every night, the process got like torture.
Every morning I thought never again.
Every afternoon, the maybe one or glasses thought process started.
Then on the way home from work, I would stop and buy drink.
Then the same agony would start all over again the next day.
Its no way to live.
The world has more to offer us than this.
You deserve better.
I could barely go a night without a drink.
I aways drank to make hangovers better.
If you are at the stage where you can go a few nights without drink, stop now.
It will be easier.
I think if you have a read of AVRT too, it might make you understand where that voice or thoughts come from that make you think 'I'm fine, I over reacted, I can drink'.
I wish you the best xx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Aberdeen
Posts: 27
Thank you so much for posting this - this could have been me. Word. For. Word.
To my shame I was going to drink this evening.
Whilst walking the dogs this morning I slipped over twice on the ice, banging my head both times. By the time I got home I couldn't help thinking this was a message from the universe telling me that my drinking plan wasn't a good idea ... that led to me logging on to these forums and your post was the first I saw reminding exactly how stupid I was being.
I even have diary entries to my future self describing how I feel when I'm hung over and still I was going to drink
.
Shame on me.
Thanks again for your post - tonight will be spent sitting in front of the telly with a box of maltesers instead of drinking and waking up with a head full of regret.
To my shame I was going to drink this evening.
Whilst walking the dogs this morning I slipped over twice on the ice, banging my head both times. By the time I got home I couldn't help thinking this was a message from the universe telling me that my drinking plan wasn't a good idea ... that led to me logging on to these forums and your post was the first I saw reminding exactly how stupid I was being.
I even have diary entries to my future self describing how I feel when I'm hung over and still I was going to drink
.Shame on me.
Thanks again for your post - tonight will be spent sitting in front of the telly with a box of maltesers instead of drinking and waking up with a head full of regret.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
