leighqt

there was a time in my life where it was necessary to attend AA, I was sober 2.5 yrs before I left. I stayed sober for a year, then managed to drink somewhat normally again, so came to the conclusion that I never was Alcoholic,

I have a diagnosed mental health condition so I put 2 and 2 together and came up with my life problems were due to my mental health and not that I am alcoholic,

On my medical records it states Alcohol dependency syndrome though no test have been carried out . I am resentful of this but do not ponder on it daily weekly or even monthly,

I have spent the last two night on the forum as I am looking to help someone get into recovery, but it has made me consider my own possible issues with Alcohol, yet again.

I do not believe I have a allergy, nor do I drink daily,or even weekly, but my drinking scares my child, I can become violent, i black out, drink drive, so is definitely unmanageable on occasion, sometimes it's fine, but I cannot guarantee whether it will be or not.

I really don't think I am alcoholic, and I know that you only need a desire to stop drinking to attend,

Any thoughts on this would be great thanks

doggonecarl

Labels aside, if your drinking has an unpredictiable and violent outcome, you have a problem. Call it anything you want, the solution is simple. Never drink again.

If you struggle to quit, then you can either re-evaluate the label, or the methods you are using to seek sobriety.

SoberLeigh

"I do not believe I have a allergy, nor do I drink daily,or even weekly, but my drinking scares my child, I can become violent, i black out, drink drive, so is definitely unmanageable on occasion, sometimes it's fine, but I cannot guarantee whether it will be or not. "

*****

These manifestations of drinking are alarming no matter how infrequently they occur. I think that you are very wise to reconsider your relationship with alcohol.

Glad you found SR, Leigh. You will find support, understanding and encouragement here.

desypete

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5114845

i have just posted up a bit of my story in this thread it mirrors your own in many ways

i can remember i quit drinking for 15 years and started drinking again

i tried it with 1 drink at frist and i didnt end up drunk or in trouble or black out i went home and everything was ok

so i tried it with 2 drinks and again i managed to not get the craving for another drink i went home and was ok

so i tried it again but this time i let myself have 4 drinks and i had the best time ever with drink i was happy and great with everyone around me i was all over my wife it was brilliant

so in my head i thought maybe all the trouble i ended up in back in my early teens and 20s was because i was young
i was now in my 30s so thought i might have grown up now and i am able to handle drink like everyone else can

8 years on from picking up that first drink i had returned to blackout drinking and all the trouble that came with it
i had returned to waking up the next day having to say sorry to anyone i had hurt my wife kids or whatever
i had returned to promising i will never do it again

on and on it went until i lost everything and had been to prison etc

i ended up back at aa and turned my life around again once more with there help

today i know just what it is to be an alcoholic and how powerful just one drink really is

it might not get you right away but it will get me in the end and rob me of everything

the good news is i am now convinced i am an alcoholic i have no more doubts about how dangerous drinking is for me
the bad news was it cost me so much in terms of suffering and hurting people i loved

but its all turned around for me again for the last 11 years i have not had a drink nor wanted one dispite a lot of pain in my life as aa worked for me and still does to this day

its the only way for me

desypete

have you ever thought what if you carreid on drinking ? how long would it be say 5 years from now would you still be drinking like you would of been or do you think it might of got worse ?

at anytime you could end up in prison for a drunken violent moment it happens to people who are not alcoholic as well as alcoholic

have read of what has just happend at a new years eve party in my area

St Helens New Year party death: Teenager named as Jordan Campbell - Crime - UK - The Independent

a 17 year old lad stabbed at a party died

you can bet the guys who have been arrested for it who will wake up in there cell will wish they had never had a drink last night

leighqt

Thank you for your comments and links to threads, I guess it's time I take another look at my issues with Alcohol as you have all spoke such sense. Thanks for the words of wisdom.

OklaBH

Im assuming you take medication for your illness?? That alone means no alcohol. You cant mix that stuff. Your post reeks denial. AA does not care about a label. You have to have the desire to not drink. If you scare your child, wy on earth would you want to drink?

oak

I can see why you are wondering if alcohol is a problem. Becoming violent, drinking and driving, blacking out, and scaring your child are all huge warning signs. Keep posting here. Get lots of support. You can quit. You have already quit once so you know you can do it.

I have PTSD and I have wondered in the past if drinking would have become a problem if it weren't for the PTSD. But ultimately, I love being sober. I tend to think now that addiction would have been problematic for me even without the PTSD.

Welcome to SR!

IOAA2

Hi.
I don’t care for labels either. I just ACCEPT the fact that I cannot drink alcohol in safety. It’s that simple.
I’ve been sober and active in AA for many thousands of meetings and have observed a very scary thing. Children learn so much by observation from birth on and when they observe a parent drinking to excess they consider it normal and have a tendency to follow that path. It’s very apparent when so many speakers at meetings said they had sworn they would never be like a drinking parent.

BE WELL

leighqt

Yes I take a lot of medication for my health condition, and no I shouldn't be taking alcohol with it. I think it's time I got back into meetings . I managed to get some huge resentments about AA and decided after 2.5 yrs of sobreity that I wasn't really Alcoholic , I guess I got stuck on labels and tried to blame everything but alcohol on my problems and behaviours. I lost my daughter for a year following my return to drinking but around the same time got diagnosed with the mental health problem, so of course the mental health was to blame. I got my daughter back then left my hometown,didn't speak to family for over a year, because I blamed them for calling me Alcoholic. It's not that I drink daily or even weekly it's just when I do drink im a jackal and Hyde, I never know who or what I will become,

fortunately I have my big book and my 12 and 12 so started looking at that again last night, and will get back in the rooms Tuesday when the first meeting is.

Boleo

"Progression" is how alcoholism sneaks up on even the smartest people (Doctors, lawyers, scientists...).

I must have looked at my drinking progression a million times during my drinking career but did not see it moving towards me. Much like the hour-hand on a clock... It does not look like it is moving. Yet, given time, it moves a long way.

ru12

Hi Leigh.

It doesn't matter what you call it. Personally, I dont lable myself anything except someone who doesn't drink. And if AA bothers you don't go. Many people get and stay sober by other means. I am one of those. Perhaps try Rational Recovery, or SMART, or Women for Sobriety. Alcohol was causing me problems. I didn't like who I became while drinking. So I stopped and got on with life. I only wish I'd have done in sooner.

I wish you peace.

Boleo

Oops! I don't know how post #11 ended up here?

It was meant for:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...lcoholism.html

Boleo

Oops! Duplicate

Boleo

.

midnightapt

If when you drink, you occasionally become violent and/or drive drunk, what difference does some arbitrary definition of alcoholism make? If drinking alcohol makes your life worse, then what reason is there to continue drinking?