WillLess

It's crazy how some small thing can cause a big trigger. The wife and I both had yesterday off and wanted to get out of the house and get some air. Decided to go and walk around an open air mall, have lunch and maybe catch a flick. Everything was going great, felt great, wasn't even consider drinking. We decided on a place to eat and I start going over the menu. It's one of those menus that has the food item, then next to it, in big, bold, fun lettering, it says pair this item with such and such beer or cocktail.

I read the first few and was already feeling the urge deep down in my gut, and the more I read, the more I wanted to pair my meal with that booze just like they suggested! Damn the great sober day I was having, damn the promises I've made to myself and my family, damn it all. I wanted a beer, or 12. If the day was going so good, beer would make it even better, right?!
That's what the beast kept whispering.

I managed to ride out the urge, but had to ask my wife to order for me and I went to the men's room to wash my face. Something so small could have such a profound effect on me, scary thought. I didn't drink though. I have 6 full days dry. Today is day 7, a full week, longest I've gone dry in almost 2 years. I feel strong and confident, but at the same time weak and unsure, after seeing what such a small trigger could do to me. Thanks for listening.

Dee74

Give yourself a break Will - one day you won;t even notice the signs

For now, stay vigilant....and be a little bit clever about where you go for a while too...?

it might help make things a little easier

D

Dee74

Give yourself a break Will - one day you won;t even notice the signs

For now, stay vigilant....and be a little bit clever about where you go for a while too...?

it might help make things a little easier

D

Mark1014

Hi Will,

When I was about a week in, I was out in the yard and the neighbor walked out and offered me a 'cold one'. It was crazy because my mouth literally watered! I had never experienced that before. Like you I made it through. It wasn't the last time something like that triggered me, but I can say for sure that each time you work through it will help you for the next. The whole sober muscle thing is true. Great job Will!

Mark1014

Oh yeah, I want to add that I really didn't get out too much socially for a while. I have been very proactive on trigger avoidance to the degree possible. As time has gone, I've been able to get out a bit more and to even enjoy it....but I am ever vigilant and always have a plan. It's been worth it too!

I wish you the very best.

dwtbd

My pet theory is that the strength of the AV's rumblings is tied , at least sometimes, to the rational mind's level of resolve. The more it feels threatened of being starved out the harder and louder it screams. Especially early on, my first week I went on vacation , an adult socialization and cocktail oriented week. It was rough, but maybe easier too, in that I knew I wasn't going to drink and the battle was in the open , no sneak attacks like purposely planning sober activities and then having the AV jump on a random opportunity to exploit.
The more it gets smacked down the weaker it gets, building sober muscle takes the time it takes but once you got it, you got it. Keep on keepin on.

JanieJ

Well done, WillLess.

I had an ongoing disagreement with the wine aisle for the first few weeks ! I'm still not talking to it

BernieE

Will, you did a great job stepping away from the urge. It will get easier with time as you build your sober muscles. Look at how far you've come in a week!

TryTryAgain

Hah! Same thing happened to me yesterday. My cravings have generally been pretty mild since I started reading about AVRT. But yesterday, I was at a bike shop (of all places), and there was a booth with food and the menu told what to about "pairing" it with wine. I don't even like wine, but I couldn't take my eyes off that sign. I got that deep down body thirst for alcohol, but then I shook it off and the rest of the day was GREAT!

Anyway, I know what you mean, and bravo for being strong.

Rowdy

I HATE the menu with paired drink options! Nothing hits me in the NEED TO DRINK NOW part of my brain. Good job with avoiding. Do it for your family but most importantly, do it for yourself! Congrats on a week! You are doing great.

brynn

Will...you're doing great and I'm really proud of you.

I've had to stop going lots of places because I just don't need the triggers right now. It won't always be like this, but for now we need to do whatever it takes to stay sober!

Well done on 7 days!!

SPM0923

I was checking collage football scores yesterday on my ipad and everytime I logged on a pop up for beer would smack me in the face. After the third time I gave up on the scores and went to bed. I wasn't temped, just annoyed.

Sudz No More

It takes a while, hang in there. You will come to a day when you don't crave like that but you have to stick it out now to get there. Don't forget the 90 day curveball either, stay vigilant for as long as it takes but it does get better.

Great job holding out against this early test, just don't lose your focus further down the road.

WillLess

Thanks everyone! I'm working on that sober muscle, want it rock hard. It's been officially over a week now since I've last drank. I feel good. It's crazy though, it feels like so much longer than a week. I guess it's because my head has cleared and I'm not in a constant fog of drunkenness or hangover. I'm remembering whole days and events clearly as apposed to just snippets and glimpses of days and nights spent numb. I'm going to keep working and sticking to the plan, not going to get complacent, there's still a lot of work to be done. It's a new day, a new year, a new me, and I'm liking it. Thanks again everyone, you guys and gals are great! Stay strong everyone.

Hawkeye13

WillLess, you've taken some solid steps into becoming WillFull for sobriety.

You are in control, and not the AV

Great job!

Deckard

I would imagine another column on the menu, for what type of cyanide would be best with the particular dish.

0percentABV

Good job. Keep it up. The first few months are the most challenging. I know when I finally threw in the towel my first month was work gym home work gym home with the occasional grocery store or food place with no alcohol. I just wanted to be away from all alcohol. Even at month three I had some temptation when my wife and kids left town. Usually when they did I drank constantly. I went to the gym and on my way home I was fighting with myself to stop at the liq, I even drove around it, yes no yes no. I knew it had to be no but of course there's that little voice inside your head that's telling you that one night will be OK, just don't drink after that. But I spent 3 months researching alcoholism and everything that I knew told me that's playing with fire. Will you not drink after that? Possibly, but for how long? And what if you start up again? And why even do it? Just to get a buzz? Why? What's the point?

To an alcoholic life without booze, at first, is strange. Your mind is telling you that drinking is normal, everyone does it, those who don't have something wrong with them and if you can't then something is wrong with you too. And your mind is telling you that you need alcohol, and not in the sense of curing the DT's but simply just to be who you are. And will you be able to deal with the everyday functions of life without it? Will life be fun? Will anything you do be fun anymore? Life without alcohol is scary to an alcoholic. But then days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months and then months turn into years and somewhere along the way you understand that to you a life without alcohol is completely manageable and it is fun. You come to accept that you cannot drink to function properly and that's is perfectly OK because you now know that life without it is normal. Alcohol consumption isn't normal, it's forced and people adapt to it. Most everyones first encounter with booze is disgust. But the buzz brings you back and you force yourself to keep going and eventually it takes over and it makes you believe that it's a normal part of life but it isn't. It starts out as a solution but it eventually becomes the cause and by then you're too deep to realize that. Alcohol is unnecessary. To be free of it is probably the coolest thing one can do.

And good job on telling your wife and seeing a doctor. Making your addiction real is the first step to combating it.

dwtbd

^^^^^
That