Thoughts on controlled drinking again
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: The Sooner State
Posts: 1,725
Originally Posted by Timmy1028 
Those wondering - ever see the movie "Smashed"? That woman was me minus the crack smoking experience and the enabling significant other.
Saw that movie last summer, drinking had been escalating, had some health issues developing, that movie made me be honest with myself.
The party was over. It had to be. Not that a new party wasn't going to start - a different kind of one, but that one was over. ��
Saw that movie last summer, drinking had been escalating, had some health issues developing, that movie made me be honest with myself.
The party was over. It had to be. Not that a new party wasn't going to start - a different kind of one, but that one was over. ��
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Bellingham
Posts: 513
In terms of actual pleasure, I don't get controlled drinking. I can enjoy, or not, a friend with a can of tomato juice as much as I can 2 beers. The whole pleasure of drinking is found in drinking 8 beers.
In terms of a fantasy, I get it. I want to imagine that down the road somewhere I'm going to have a great night with buddies or hoist a glass of champagne at a wedding and be like a character in the Deer Hunter. And I need to protect this fantasy because I want to avoid actually figuring out how to have pleasure in my life, the discomfort that requires.
In terms of a fantasy, I get it. I want to imagine that down the road somewhere I'm going to have a great night with buddies or hoist a glass of champagne at a wedding and be like a character in the Deer Hunter. And I need to protect this fantasy because I want to avoid actually figuring out how to have pleasure in my life, the discomfort that requires.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Illinois
Posts: 71
Originally Posted by OklaBH
I havent seen it but Im going to make a point to watch it tomorrow. Ive heard about it several times on here and at AA. The further I get from my last drink the more reminders I need!
That's what I keep telling myself at this stage in the game.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
Originally Posted by davaidavai
In terms of actual pleasure, I don't get controlled drinking. I can enjoy, or not, a friend with a can of tomato juice as much as I can 2 beers. The whole pleasure of drinking is found in drinking 8 beers.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
Originally Posted by davaidavai
In terms of actual pleasure, I don't get controlled drinking. I can enjoy, or not, a friend with a can of tomato juice as much as I can 2 beers. The whole pleasure of drinking is found in drinking 8 beers.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Illinois
Posts: 71
Originally Posted by davaidavai
In terms of actual pleasure, I don't get controlled drinking. I can enjoy, or not, a friend with a can of tomato juice as much as I can 2 beers. The whole pleasure of drinking is found in drinking 8 beers.
In terms of a fantasy, I get it. I want to imagine that down the road somewhere I'm going to have a great night with buddies or hoist a glass of champagne at a wedding and be like a character in the Deer Hunter. And I need to protect this fantasy because I want to avoid actually figuring out how to have pleasure in my life, the discomfort that requires.
In terms of a fantasy, I get it. I want to imagine that down the road somewhere I'm going to have a great night with buddies or hoist a glass of champagne at a wedding and be like a character in the Deer Hunter. And I need to protect this fantasy because I want to avoid actually figuring out how to have pleasure in my life, the discomfort that requires.
I am sort of softening them up for when I continue not to drink but the diet is over....
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
It took me a good while to understand the phenomenon of craving. One drink sets the stage (and craving) for the second drink and beyond. My craving for more was only satisfied when I was really, really drunk, like slurring.
Once I have one I am desperate for the second and have done bizarre things to get more. (Walking long distances in snow without proper clothing, anyone? Lol). Because our tolerance naturally goes up it ends up taking a crazy amount til we feel satisfied. If a non-drinker consumed 12 beers in one night, they'd probably go to ER they'd feel so sick. Tolerance is kinda weird now that I think about it.
So much stress that drinking life was! It sounds like you a really good grasp on it Timmy.
The example of soda is great. I like Pepsi but only feel the need for one or two a day. Well gosh darn, that's kind of how non-alcoholics drink.
Once I have one I am desperate for the second and have done bizarre things to get more. (Walking long distances in snow without proper clothing, anyone? Lol). Because our tolerance naturally goes up it ends up taking a crazy amount til we feel satisfied. If a non-drinker consumed 12 beers in one night, they'd probably go to ER they'd feel so sick. Tolerance is kinda weird now that I think about it.
So much stress that drinking life was! It sounds like you a really good grasp on it Timmy.
The example of soda is great. I like Pepsi but only feel the need for one or two a day. Well gosh darn, that's kind of how non-alcoholics drink.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: northern AZ
Posts: 796
Controlled? Key word there. I did it awhile to keep it away from my kids. Cunning and, oh, so seductive it sits in its dark corner beckoning: "Come over here I can make it all better when life situations I CAN'T control hit." And I weaken and believe it because I've always beaten the odds before.... but one day it won and I went down for the count. Baffling that I would take such a chance with my life.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 269
Controlled drinking? To me that is like being a little bit pregnant.
For me, it's nit that I go on a binge or drink 10 drinks in a evening, but rather I continue drinking "in control". While my brain gets more and more scrambled over time. Eventually I just feel so bad from prolonged drinking that I may have as well gotten there quicker with 10 drinks a night.
The point to remember is that many of us here have a disease where we don't provess the alcohol in the same way as the other 85 -90% of the population and alcohol has a different effect on out brains.
Instead of controlled drinking,, why don't you try controlled not drinking and see if you can control yourself to not drink for 90 days?
For me, it's nit that I go on a binge or drink 10 drinks in a evening, but rather I continue drinking "in control". While my brain gets more and more scrambled over time. Eventually I just feel so bad from prolonged drinking that I may have as well gotten there quicker with 10 drinks a night.
The point to remember is that many of us here have a disease where we don't provess the alcohol in the same way as the other 85 -90% of the population and alcohol has a different effect on out brains.
Instead of controlled drinking,, why don't you try controlled not drinking and see if you can control yourself to not drink for 90 days?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by Timmy1028
I am new here. I wanted to get the thoughts of members of this forum. Although this is my first post, I've been reading it for some time and it has offered a great deal of support for me and the struggles I've been going through. Recently, I decided to put down the drink and I have done so successfully for nearly 6 months. I haven't shared my little project with anyone, because I didn't want to be labeled as that guy who had quit drinking because he had to. Because it was a problem for him. Fortunately I have lost a significant amount of weight in the last six months, so I have told friends and relatives that my not having a beer here, a glass of wine there,etc. was due to my weight loss goal. It's worked.
Recently however, an old friend came into town. To make a long story short, I went out with his friend and over the course of the entire evening and several different bars consumed a grand total of three beers. Very spaced out, but I didn't feel comfortable not being at least "social". I did it. Since then, I have experienced no cravings, desires, or downward spiral back to where I was.
I know this is where a lot of people who have been in my shoes slip up. They think they're in control now. I don't want to end up where I used to be. I know I haven't gone into that, but I'm sure most of you can imagine.
In the end, I am back on the wagon - many days now, not finding any cravings or anything like that. I still feel like I'm in control, but I know the dangers of feeling too save. Anybody else been here before?
Recently however, an old friend came into town. To make a long story short, I went out with his friend and over the course of the entire evening and several different bars consumed a grand total of three beers. Very spaced out, but I didn't feel comfortable not being at least "social". I did it. Since then, I have experienced no cravings, desires, or downward spiral back to where I was.
I know this is where a lot of people who have been in my shoes slip up. They think they're in control now. I don't want to end up where I used to be. I know I haven't gone into that, but I'm sure most of you can imagine.
In the end, I am back on the wagon - many days now, not finding any cravings or anything like that. I still feel like I'm in control, but I know the dangers of feeling too save. Anybody else been here before?
I went 10 days without a drink while working out in the countryside. I felt great and a few people even commented on the fact I wasn't drinking.
I wasn't trying controlled drinking per say but was quite happy the way things turned out. No booze and I could feel the difference after just 10 days of abstinence.
So, the night I returned to my apartment I decided to celebrate. I went out and bought a pint of vodka...
Let me end this by saying it wasn't a pretty night.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 251
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
Controlled drinking? If you have to control it, it's already out of control.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 251
Originally Posted by MelindaFlowers
It took me a good while to understand the phenomenon of craving. One drink sets the stage (and craving) for the second drink and beyond. My craving for more was only satisfied when I was really, really drunk, like slurring. Once I have one I am desperate for the second and have done bizarre things to get more. (Walking long distances in snow without proper clothing, anyone? Lol). Because our tolerance naturally goes up it ends up taking a crazy amount til we feel satisfied. If a non-drinker consumed 12 beers in one night, they'd probably go to ER they'd feel so sick. Tolerance is kinda weird now that I think about it. So much stress that drinking life was! It sounds like you a really good grasp on it Timmy. The example of soda is great. I like Pepsi but only feel the need for one or two a day. Well gosh darn, that's kind of how non-alcoholics drink.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 27
Originally Posted by Bostonsportsfan
I'm pretty sure if Coke was legal, former addicts wouldn't say "I bet I could just have a couple lines tonight"...then none tomorrow, etc. It should be no different for a former alcoholic to understand they can't just have a "few".
Addiction, at its core, is the same regardless of substance.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 852
Originally Posted by hamandcheese
I can assure you, legal or not, the process and the deluded thoughts of moderation and some new found ability to use cocaine like a gentlemen is EXACTLY the same.
Addiction, at its core, is the same regardless of substance.
Addiction, at its core, is the same regardless of substance.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 35
I was sober 2.5 yrs, left AA thinking I'm not really alcoholic, tried controlled drinking sometimes would be ok, but lately it really isn't ok, I think I just ignored the bad times as they have been going on for ages now. Am fed up of feeling guilty, remorseful, thinking omg what did I do. Back to AA for me
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 729
Hello Timmy,
What would have been different had you not drank three beers when you went out with your buddy?
Why do you feel you have to drink poison to be sociable?
I hope the answers help you. You cannot control addiction.
What would have been different had you not drank three beers when you went out with your buddy?
Why do you feel you have to drink poison to be sociable?
I hope the answers help you. You cannot control addiction.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: MPLS, MN
Posts: 164
Why control it? Forget all the stuff about the downward spiral that might (probably) will happen. Why even bother? There is no need for alcohol in your life. Why do it? For the buzz? For the social acceptance? To hang onto that last shred of your youth? In my opinion good riddance. If you're like me you've done it all so why keep revisiting old times? Move forward with your life. Take the opportunity to do something else. You were a guy who drank, now be a guy who doesn't. Reinvent yourself. Doesn't have to be drastic of you don't want but I say shut the door on your drinking life and open the one to your sober life and explore it.
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